If you wanted to know the whole guilty pleasure sex story, you
would have to know and comprehend a little bit of my background.
For starters, my life didn't always use to revolve around sex. In
fact the kid you see now, walking down the sidewalk with his hands shoved
deeply down into the pockets of his jeans, dragging on a smoke, was once
a pretty innocent child. That's how we all start out. Innocent. Then
something, or someone, comes along and takes that away from you. At the
time you're not aware that you just lost something as precious and big as
your innocence, because while you are in the process of losing it, it
probably feels good.
As for myself, I lost it in my pre-teen years. The stage Sigmund
Freud has deemed the "genital stage" in our lives. It begins at the age
of twelve and goes on for the rest of your life. Imagine being stuck at
one stage until your death. It makes you want to end your life early.
Life is just full of desolate stagnation.
In any case, I was thirteen-years-old, in this "genital stage", and
I lost my innocence. It was a beautiful spring day, warm sun, the last
bit of snow melting from the ground. New York City was definitely in the
transition between seasons. I didn't even mind the tourists who tend to
jostle you around on the sidewalks without any concern. Too busy rushing
off to see the entire city to mind their manners. I was hurrying home
from school, dodging in and out of the business men and women along with
the number of tourist.
Home was located in a brown stone converted apartment building on
West 24th Street in the Manhattan section of town. My family lived on
the sixth floor, along with an elderly couple that was suspicious of
activity that went on around them, a single pregnant lady who my mom was
always making snide remarks about, a young graduate student who attended
New York University, and a large black lady who ate dinner at out
apartment from time to time, because my family enjoyed her company.
I remember how the desk clerk smiled at me as I rushed through the
lobby. I will always remember her, because she was young, fresh, and was
constantly smiling at me. "You in a hurry today, Justin," she called out
"Sure am," I called out, jabbing at the button for the elevator. I
remember giving her a friendly wave as the doors shut close.
My brother was already a junior in high school. Much older than I
was, and was always home before I was doing school days. My parents
never made it home until four in the evening. So it was somewhat of a
surprise when the door to our apartment was locked. I fished around in
my pocket for the key, and once I got into the apartment I saw it.
The young graduate student who lived a few doors was on his back on
the couch, completely naked and my brother, also completely de-robed was
on top of him. Both of them had rippling muscles and neither of them
noticed me or heard me over their loud groaning noises.
I noiselessly slipped back out of our apartment with the image
still imprinted in my mind, like a projector replying the scene of my
brother moving quickly.
That's how I lost my innocence. Something so simple could leave a
large impact on the lives of other. Now, at the age nineteen, my brother
is in college down in New Jersey.
So what gets me to thinking about that moment? I'll give you a
hint, it has to do with sex and I was heading towards his apartment.
Just the whole motions of sex, though enjoyable, have left me feeling
impure and it dates back to when I caught my brother.
Standing on the street corner, I tossed out my cigarette and waited
to cross with the herds of people. It was amusing how technology has
people trained. Once that light turns green, it's like the doors opening
to release the race horses. And they're off! We all rush across the
cross walk, for fear that if we're too slow we'll be nailed by the
reckless cab drivers who wouldn't even slow down for poor Grandma
Fletcher with her groceries.
I arrived at another apartment building that wasn't too far off
from where I still live with my family. Just about several blocks and a
nice summer day like today, it was hard not to walk outside.
It was his apartment building. My insides were getting twisted
into knots, even though I've done this before.
A lady, in her mid-twenties, wearing slacks, a tub top that showed
off her beautiful, plumped breast, was leaning against the wall outside
the building. Our eyes met briefly as I passed and she flicked her
gorgeous blonde hair, letting it dangle on her chest. She would look
I entered the building as if I were a resident. I looked like
one. I acted like one. Hell, I was resident at this place the number of
times I've been here. I traveled up to the tenth floor and almost at the
same time I stepped out of the elevator, the blonde girl that had been
outside emerged from the staircase.
Our eyes met again.
"Are you following me?" she wanted to know.
"I'm sorry ma'am, but I have a feeling that you are following me.
But with my stunning looks it's hard not to. I understand."
Once we were within contact, our lips pulled together tightly. Our
bodies were hugging together. Almost as if one. We pulled away quickly,
resisting the urge to start undressing right there in the hallway.
"Alright, what do we have today," she demanded.
I fished around inside my pocket and pulled out a picture and
handed it to her. "His name is Joshua Tanner. His last name says it
all, as you can see he's beautifully tan, rock hard abs, works out a lot,
wears boxer briefs. I've seen him in the gym locker room."
She studied the photo and then met my eyes again and gave me her
killer smile. "I think you won on this one." She hitched her thumb at
the door we were standing outside. "You sure this is his apartment."
I nodded, leaned in, and kissed her firmly, cupping a feel. Once I
pulled away I returned her smile. "Does that seem positive?"
"You're going to have to do better," she gave me a wink. She was
always such a tease. "And the price?"
I pocketed the photo. "Keep your shirt on for this one, Joshua is
precious and probably the most expensive object to buy in New York City.
Get this babe; Mr. Tanner is a whopping $100,000. We're rich."
We kissed firmly again this time we pulled away as another tenant
passed us. That got us laughing at the looks we were getting. "I'll go
stand my guard," she said trailing away down the hallway. She turned to
look at me one last time before disappearing down the staircase, giving
me that smile that she gave me every time I passed the front desk in my
family's apartment building.
I smiled back.
Who wouldn't smile at the prospect of receiving that much money?
I leaned against the wall next to Joshua's door.
I was waiting for him.
Waiting for the fun to begin.
He had just been purchased, and didn't even know about it.