My name is Jim. I'm 29 years old and I live in Henderson, KY. I am gay.
I realize now that I've been gay for a long time. I have just been in
denial. This story is gonna talk about what all happened in my life to get
me to come out of the closet to myself.
I was early to learn about the pleasures of sex. I was about 8 years old
when I sucked my first dick. It was with my next door neighbor. His back
hard was fenced in with a privacy fence. His parents were gone all day and
my parents wanted me to play all day outside. I honestly don't know how we
started doing it. I just remember that he wanted to suck my dick but he
would do it if I did it.
At first we were careful. We got right up against his house. I would pull
my pants down to my feet and he would suck my dick for a few minutes then I
would do the same thing to him. We were cautious like this for probably a
week. After that I started to look forward to our dick sucking sessions.
I would go over to his house after lunch. We would go into his backyard
and just started taking off our pants and underwear. We would suck each
other's dicks all afternoon. Every now and then I would have my doubts
about if what we were doing was ok. He just told me that plenty of people
did this. He told me that I couldn't tell my parents because what we were
doing was something that we weren't supposed to be doing until we were
older. We did these dayly cock sucking sessions every afternoon for about
5 months or so. Then we just sorta stopped. We went back to the way we
used to play before we started sucking dick.
I was about 9 years old when I learned how to jack off. I was in bed one
night and just stroking my cock. I did it for a bit longer than normal
this time. I kept playing with it until it felt like I had to pee but a
bit different. A few minutes later I shot cum all over my chest. It felt
great. I ran my fingers through it. I definitely needed to do that more
I started jacking off slow. I probably did it once or twice a week. Every
guy reading this knows this would change. About a month later I was up to
jacking off every night in my room. I would shoot off my cum onto my chest
and then wipe it off with a dirty sock.
I continued to jack off nearly every day until probably 5th grade. That's
when I met rick. Now, rick and I never did anything together but we were
always on the brink of it. We were both very curious about our bodies. We
would sleep naked together when we had sleep overs. We would touch each
other's cocks but only at night. Like i said, we never did anything but I
think we both wanted too.
In 6th grade I had a new friend move into the neighborhood. His name is
Sean. We quickly became friends and started having sleepovers regularly.
We had an extremely interesting conversation one night that would change my
He said, "So have you ever done anything dirty?"
I said, "Like what?"
He said, "Anything."
I said, "Maybe."
He said, "I'm not gonna tell anyone."
I said, "Well, Rick and I have slept naked together a bunch of times."
He said, "Are you two gay?"
I said, "No, no. We just slept in the same bed naked. I touched his cock
but never did anything else."
He said, "So you have never sucked another guy's dick?"
I said, "Well, I have a while back."
He said, "How come you aren't doing it still?"
I said, "I dunno. We just stopped."
He said, "You want to play truth or dare?"
I said, "Sure. You do me first."
He said, "Ok, but you aren't allowed to answer truth questions with
anything but yes or no. Truth or dare?"
I said, "Truth."
He said, "Is it true that you liked sucking dick."
I said, "Yes."
He said, "Ok my turn."
I said, "Ok, truth or dare?"
He said, "Truth."
I said, "Is it true that you are asking me these kind of questions for a
He said, "Yes. Truth or dare?"
I said, "Dare."
He said, "I dare you to take you clothes off and let me see your dick."
I said, "Ok then."
I took off my clothes and sat there naked. He spread my legs apart and
looked at my dick as it slowly got hard.
I said, "Truth or dare?"
He said, "Dare."
I said, "I dare you to get naked and let me look at your dick."
He took his clothes off. His cock was a bit smaller than mine. His dick
was hard from the second he took his clothes off.
He said, "Truth or dare?"
I didn't answer him. He was sitting but laying with his back against the
door and his legs spread. I got on my stomach and started to suck his
He said, "Well that's not quite what i was gonna ask, but that's cool."
We didn't get very far because his mom got home. We rushed to get our
clothes back on before his mom came back. He called me on the phone that
thursday after school.
He said, "You think I could spend the night over there tomorrow?"
I said, "I can ask."
I went to ask and mom said it was ok.
I said, "Mom said it's cool."
He said, "Sweet. I wanna do some more truth or dare. You up for that?"
I said, "Yeah that would be cool."
That afternoon he got off the bus at my stop. We both played nintendo
until bedtime. I was so nervous. Soon as we went to the bedroom for the
night we both got naked. We got in bed and I started to kiss him.
We frenched a couple minutes and then I said, "Is it ok that I kiss you?"
He said, "Yeah sure. It was kinda hot. What about the truth or dare
I said, "Let's just skip the game and go straight to the fun."
He said, "I'm loving that idea."
So we continued to make out and we rubbed each other's cocks while we made
out. We spent most of the night kissing and rubbing. He asked if I would
suck his dick again. So, I got underneath the covers and sucked his dick
for him. We fell asleep spooning and he had his dick pressed between my
Sean and I would do this every weekend for over a year. About 4 months of
these nightly adventures and I asked him if he wanted to be boyfriends. He
said, "We can be butt buddies."
I said, "What is that?"
He said, "Well, we act normal in school and stuff and we get naked and mess
around at night."
Just out of the blue, Sean had to move away. I didn't have time to say
goodbye or anything. The last time we fooled around was 2 weeks before he
left. We had actual intercourse for the first and only time. I let him
fuck me since his dick was smaller. I was 12 years old in 7th grade and I
had a 5 inch dick. He had about a 3 and a half inch dick back then. His
dick fit easily in my asshole. It really didn't feel bad. He had his
first nut that night. He was having such a good time he didn't even know
he was about to do it until it was too late. He said, "Oh my god, I'm
gonna cum" and then he came in my asshole. I jacked off on his cock after
he sucked my dick as usual.
The next several years would be very boring, homosexually. I met and
started dating a girl in 9th grade and we would break up in between my
sophomore and junior year. We fucked more times than I even know to count.
She went crazy (literally) and we broke up. I then dated a girl a few
years younger than me. We didn't date for more than about 4 months or so.
Just long enough for us to have sex 3 or 4 times. My next girlfriend would
be during my senior year. I would date her through my freshman year of
college. We too had sex more times than I even know how to count.
It was with this girl that I would have my next gay encounter. I was
working at a place pretty far away from my house. My supervisor was openly
gay but very masculine. He tried every day to get me to go home with him
but I always turned him down. I basically turned him down because he
always asked me with people around. At that point I didn't want everyone
to know that I was sexually attracted to men. It just wasn't cool yet.
One night when we were closing he got his opportunity. I was in his office
helping him count money and everyone else was waiting for us to get done.
He said, "Why don't you come home with me tonight?"
I said, "Ok."
He said, "Seriously?"
I said, "Yeah. I would've said yes earlier but you always asked around
He scooted his chair over to me and started to rub my cock thru my pants.
He said, "Well, we're done here. Go wait with the others and you can just
follow me home."
I got in my car and followed him to his house. I pulled in behind him and
we both got out. He rubbed my ass on the walk up the driveway. When we
got to his front door he unbuttoned my pants and shoved his hand into my
pants. He pulled out my dick and stroked it as he opened the front door.
We went inside and he told me to get comfortable. I went to his bedroom
and got undressed. He went into the bathroom and came out about 5 minutes
later naked as well. He stood in front of me with his dick literally
inches from my face. He said, "You sure you wanna do this?" I didn't say
anything. Instead I started sucking his dick. He layed on the bed and we
69'ed. It only took about 10 minutes before I was ready to cum. Now up
until that point I had never cum from a blowjob and I felt it was
significant that a man was the first person to do that.
He swallowed every drop of my cum. We kissed for a while and then he asked
me if he could fuck me. At first I was pretty nervous. I had never had an
adult fuck me before. Then I thought, "If I can take all of that cock in
my mouth then my ass will be fine." He lubed up my ass and his cock and
then slowly pushed his dick into my ass. I felt like a woman being
penetrated for the first time. I wanted to act like a woman for him. It
made me feel sexy.
For the first time in my life I was completely fine being a fem. His dick
just felt so good. I moaned like a woman for him when he fucked me. I
even called my asshole my pussy(and I still do to this day). He was
calling me baby in bed. I was a complete bitch in bed with him and I loved
Now, I just felt like clarifying a few things. I'm not a flame in public.
I'm not a butch manly man in public either. However, you get me in bed
with another man and I am the bitch. I love being a woman in bed when I'm
with another man. From that first time with my boss, I stopped having an
asshole. I had a pussy. I wanted to feel my man's throbbing cock when he
fucked my pussy. I wanted to feel his cum gush into my pussy when he
climaxed. Condoms just don't feel good. That's why I make sure my man is
clean before we have sex. I'm at the point now where I need to have cum in
Back to the story, We had sex that night until about 2 am. I just slept at
his house and went home in the morning. My girly secret would be out soon
though. The whole night crew would find out that I was a cum guzzling
slut. Rob and I were counting the money just like we do every other night.
Only this time we took longer than normal. Maybe it was due to the fact
that I was sucking his dick while he counted the money. One of the guys
came back to see how long it would be and walked into to see me thoroughly
enjoying Rob's cock in my mouth.
He just stood there for a sec. He then said, "Oh my god." and then he ran
off. We obviously coudn't finish now. We finished the money and then
headed to the door. One of the girls said, "I didn't know you 2 were
fucking. Have you all been fucking back there for long?"
I said, "No, this is actually the first time here at the store."
She said, "Oh bullshit."
Rob said, "We had sex last night at my house and we got a little frisky
here. It's never happened before and it won't happen again."
I said, "You all can't tell anyone any of this."
One guy said, "Or you'll do what?"
I said, "I'll tell the store manager that you all were smoking pot on your
They never did say anything.
A couple years later I met the girl who would become my wife. I didn't
have any male friends to be with but it never left my mind. Karen and I
had sex every day from about 2 weeks after we met until a week after we got
married. That was about 1 year long. It seemed once the honeymoon phase
was over the married sex life kicked in. We would move down to having sex
once a week at most.
Our year long fuck fest had taken my mind off of men. However, once we
were married there were periods where we wouldn't have sex for 2 or 3
weeks. That's when my horniness kicked back in and I needed to get a nutt.
At first I started downloading porn. Lots of porn. Gay porn, lesbian
porn, amatuer hardcore. I would jack off every night that karen would just
go to bed. She started to bitch about that. One day it sorta hit me. I
drove by an adult bookstore every night on my way home from work. I would
just stop in after work, jack off in one of the booths and head home.
My first time in the booth, I was a complete noob. I would lock the door,
just pull my dick out of my pants, jack off and then leave. I liked the
"naughtiness" of it. It was masturbating in public. There was always a
ton of other guys there doing it too. I started making more and more trips
there. Soon I was going there 5 nights a week.
Little by little i got more bold and more brave. In one booth there was a
3 inch hole cut out in the side and the person on the other side was always
watching. Then i went to the booths that had a window between them. You
hit a button and if that other person has there's pushed then you can see
One day I went into that type of booth. I was now up to taking my pants
down to my ankles when I jacked off. I hit the button on the booth and the
other side was already on. On the other side there was 2 ppl in the booth
and one was sucking off the other. One guy turned and saw me watching and
quickly hit his button to cancel it.
A couple months had passed and I was still going to the bookstore 5 nights
a week after work. I was now stripping completely naked in the booth. I
never even bothered to shut my door when i went in. The door was always
half open and guys would come in for some mutual sucking. It was during
these times that I started to like to swallow when I gave a blow job.
It was a pretty cool thing. I could do my gay thing and leave and nobody
would know about it. One day after work I was in a booth in the back. I
was totally naked and had my door wide open. I was sat back and stroking
my cock watching a gay porno. I saw out of the corner of my eye someone
watching me. I looked over and it was a guy that I went to school with
that I had known since i was in first grade. His eyes were focused on my
dick. I looked over at him and recognized who he was.
I said, "Mike? What are you doing here?"
He said, "Jim? I....uh...I didn't know anyone would be here that I knew."
I pulled him into the booth with me. He sat down next to me. I had my arm
around his waist. I said, "I didn't know you were into guys."
He said, "I'm not sure if I am or not. This is only my second time here."
I said, "I was in that exact same position a few months ago and now look at
He said, "Do you get alot of action?"
I said, "Ever night I come here. I don't do anal because I don't know any
of these guys. I wanna make sure I stay clean."
He said, "Yeah I was worried about that. Like, me get all horny and stuff
and get laid."
I said, "Well, if you wanna mess around with me, then you can stay."
He said, "That would be cool."
He left his shirt on but removed his shoes, socks and pants. He wasn't
wearing any underwear. My kind of man. We stood there and kissed for a
few minutes. While we kissed he reached down and started to fondle my dick
and balls. I decided to do the same. His cock started to become erect in
my hand. Once he was fully erect he was probably all of 8 or 9 inches
long. That's a bit longer than I'm used to but I could deal with it.
I broke off the kiss. I started to unbutton his shirt and then I started
kissing my way down south. I slid his cock into my mouth and started to
suck him off. He was enjoying it too. He looked like he had needed a good
suck and fuck for a while. Before I could get him too excited I stopped
sucking him. I put my hands against a wall in the booth and bent over
He said, "Why did you stop?"
I said, "Because you look like you could use more than a blowjob."
He said, "You sure about us doing this here?"
I said, "Well we could do this right here, right now. Then if you think
you like it we meet at your place or mine tonight for more."
I pulled a tube of ky jelly that I keep for my adventures here and rubbed
some on his dick and on my anus. I then resumed my position. He stood up
and pushed his dick to my anus and then slowly started to slide it in. My
wife knows that I like anal play so she had bought me a soft anal plug.
Anyway, I got a bit anxious and pushed back on his dick until he was
completely inside me.
Mike must've liked what he was getting because he quickly got into things.
He held my hip with one hand reached around and fondled my dick with his
other. He fucked me at a steady pace. We had been at it for about 10
minutes or so when he started to fuck me faster and more powerful. Another
5 minutes of this and his cock started throbbing. He grabbed my ass tight
and thrust his cock deep into my anus. His balls tightened and then he
started to cum inside my ass. Now about this point the guy would be
ripping his dick out of my ass and zipping up his pants fast as lightning.
However, Mike kept fucking but very slowly. Another few minutes later and
he pulled his dick out. We kissed a bit longer and then both of us got
Now that was the honest to goodness first time I had ever cheated on my
wife. However, It wouldn't be the last. Mike and I exchanged phone
numbers and had already planned on meeting again for some more fun. Until
he would decide to go 100% for the dick, it woulld always be sorta spotty
when he would call.
Now, I would find out that my wife wasn't exactly faithful herself. Before
we divorced I had cheated on her with 3 different guys. She cheated on me
with 2 guys and a girl. Her main fling was with her best friends husband.
The three of them would hang out on the weekends. I never could because I
had to work early. They would get drunk and play cards, watch movies or
whatever. Now, Stephanie(my ex) and her best friend angie would make out
all the time. As far as I knew they never really took it any further.
They would kiss all the time regardless of who all was in the room with
them. Occasionally I would see steph go into angie's pants and play with
her a bit but it was when they thought nobody was watching.
The shocker was when I walked in on steph and angie's husband Bill having
sex one afternoon. I went home for lunch because i was out of money and i
wanted to spend my lunch hour with steph. I walked in and heard moaning.
I figured it was Steph in the bedroom masturbating. She tended to do that
alot. I went in to surprise her and saw her on all fours and Bill was
fucking the hell out of her.
I said, "So, having fun are we?"
Steph looked up and saw me. A shocked look came over her face. She said,
"Honey, I didn't think you were gonna come home for lunch."
I said, "Left my money on the dresser."
She said, "I can explain this...."
I said, "You and Bill are fucking. It's not exactly rocket science. How
long has this been going on?"
She said, "Honestly?"
I said, "Um....yeah."
She said, "Four months now. Bill has been coming over here on his lunch."
I said, "So when I called those times on my break you weren't
She said, "No. Usually been bent over the bed getting fucked."
I said, "I see. Well, have fun."
She said, "You aren't mad?"
I didn't say anything. I just left. Not like I could be mad anyway.
After all, I cheated too. I just hadn't been cheating as long. Well, now
that I knew she was ok with infidelity I could just feel free to do
whatever I wanted.
I posted an add on a couple Yahoo groups. I posted that I was a married
white male looking for sex with other men. I got a few responses within
days. Two of them were from people I knew. One was a guy that I went to
school with. I never really picked him as into men but at the same time
knew he wouldn't turn it down. The other guy was a teacher that I had in
high school. Both of them knew me, but I would have to see them to
remember who they were.
The first person I would meet was Mr.Gray(yes i changed his name). We
talked on the phone a few times to get to know each other. The first
conversation was wierd. He was openly gay and I was sorta doing this
because I was just horny as hell and willing to do anything to blow a nut.
He asked me first if I've ever done this sorta thing before. I had to tell
the truth. I told him that I had been messing with guys off and on my
whole life. I then asked him if he was looking for a relationship or just
sex. He said that he wanted sex only but he didn't want a one night stand.
He wanted a sex partner with no relationship strings. Basically 2 guys
that liked to fuck and wanted to do it semi often. That really didn't
sound to bad to me. It sure as hell beat trying to find someone when I got
horny for dick.
We set up a date to meet each other. We set it up for about 11pm on a
friday. Neither of us were expecting for anything to happen but if it
started we wouldn't stop it. I had on a pair of oversized shorts. They
were khaki cargo shorts and about 3 sizes to big. I didn't wear underwear
with them and they hung off my ass quite a bit. I wore a shirt that would
cover my bare ass that was about half showing due to how baggy the shorts
were. I drove over to his house. It was late and all the neighbors
appeared to be in bed. I adjusted my shorts so that in front the only
thing you couldn't see was my cock, but you could see every bit of my
trimmed pubes. In back about 3/4 of my ass was hanging out. My shirt
wasn't quite that long so you could see my ass.
I knocked on his door and he was wearing a ladies silk half robe. It was
loosely tied in the front and he had on nothing else. He had an amazingly
beautiful cock. It hung between his legs and was about 6 inches long
flacid. He shaves his balls and between his legs and has a little patch of
pubes above his cock. He invited me in and we kissed a bit before walking
all the way into the house. It wasn't anything really heavy but wasn't
just your normal kiss either.
I reached over and grabbed his dick and said, "Looks like someone has
something in mind for tonight."
I had ahold of his balls and he said, "Well, if we decided to do something
I didn't want all those pesky clothes getting in the way."
He reached for my shirt and pulled it up. He could tell that I didn't have
any underwear on. He said, "You aren't so innocent yourself either."
I said, "I'm a bit of an exhibitionist deep down. I always wanted to dress
naughty in public."
He said, "If you want to come back, you can feel free to wear whatever you
want here. My only neighbor is right over there and they are a mid 20's
I said, "That must be totally awesome."
He said, "Oh yeah. Sometimes I don't feel like getting dressed but need to
go get the mail. They don't care. I've seen them have sex out on their
front swing a few times."
I sat down on his couch first. He sat down next to me. He put his arm
around me and reached between my legs. He unzipped my shorts and pulled
them off. He said, "You know, if I had known back in school that you were
into guys we could've had some fun back then."
I said, "I really wasn't into guys back then."
He said, "You don't know this but I walked in on you sucking another guy's
dick in the guy's locker room one day after school."
I said, "Well, ok so I would've been a bit freaked out but I probably
would've messed around with you back then. I think this is probably a bit
He took me by the hand and said, "Lets go to the bedroom. I want your dick
in my mouth."
We went across the house to his bedroom. I got undressed and layed on the
bed. He took off his robe and put on a gay porno. He got into bed and we
immediately went to a 69. Both of us went fem on each other.
He said, "So, you aren't masculine in bed?"
I said, "Oh hell no. I'm a total bitch when i get in bed."
He said, "Yeah me too. It's kinda sexy. I don't mind if you don't mind."
I said, "Oh I like it."
We sucked each other's dicks for about 15 minutes. We stopped before we
could get too far. I didn't want to be out too late. Steph thought i was
just out to go get some food. I bent over onto all fours for him. He
leaned over and grabbed some lube. He lubed up his dick and then slid his
dick into my pussy. He started off slow. He had ahold of my ass and
pumped his dick in and out. It must've been a while for him also because
about 10 minutes later he was fucking me hard and fast. He pulled out and
told me to flip over. I had been jacking off while he fucked me and i was
close to an orgasm. He started to jack off furiously and then he came all
over my cock and balls. Seeing his cock explode sorta excited me and I
shot my load as well. I shot mine all over my chest and stomach.
We got in the shower afterwards and cleaned up. I got dressed and he
walked me out to the car. I drove back home and Steph was already asleep.
There was a note on the alarm clock. It read, "If I'm asleep, wake me up.
Use your imagination on how to wake me up."
Too bad there's no way I could possibly get my dick hard again. Anyway,
that's all for part 1. If you wanna part 2 just let me know.