Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Beyond The Call Of Duty

It's been five years since I retired from the army. After serving 12
years, I retired 1st. Lt. Kirk Williams company B, First battalion
Seventy Fifth Infantry. I saw a lot of bloody battles. I made a lot of
friends, and I buried a lot of friends. I dared to go against the grain
when I joined the army, an institution that stood for patriotism,
heroism, and comraderie. I lead my troops with an iron fist and made men
out of boys. I guess nature threw me a curve ball...because I am gay.

My being gay didn't have any influence on me being a man, and I
didn't let my sexual preference dictate my life. Instead, I chose to
ignore my needs for love by providing myself with personal satisfaction
in the privacy of the bathroom, and dealt with my life as 'normal' as
possible. I was raised with my grandfather who was a military man. My
mother lived in another state, and my father died in a gun fight with
some thugs. He was a policeman, and after my father's death mom decided
that it would be best that I grew up with a strong male influence. Who
best fit that description but my grandfather ? I grew up in a house with
strict rules. My grandfather instilled values that didn't really support
my lifestyle which is why I decided early in life to go against all

At 6'3", 230lbs. of young muscular chocolate flesh with 8 and a
half inches of dick for dicking down fresh pussy, I would surpassed many
of the stereotypes during my time. I decided fresh out of high school,
instead of college, to join the army.

After reaching a certain point in the Army, I retired and decided to
live a civilian life. I was ready to venture out into the world. A year
before my retirement, my grandfather passed away, and at that point I
felt I had lived long enough by his standards. I never got into any
trouble. I only drank alcohol during social activities, and marijuana
stunk so 'reefer' was out of the question. I fucked a few girls, and
jerked off with a couple of guys before but never allowed myself to
actually get deep into any intimate stuff with a guy.

Upon returning home I landed a nice job as a computer
analyst/graphics designer. My life was my work. I woke up, went to work,
came home, and that was it. I had some acquaintances that I saw only at
work. I enjoyed the simple things. There was this girl I was fucking
whenever the need arised...only to put up a good reputation. Her name was
Tiffany and she was a knockout. She was very shapely, caramel complexion
with hazel eyes that were like a young dow. She had soft lips, and her
body was so small and petite but curved in all the right places. She had
ghetto ass and her hair was cut short like Jada Pinket-Smith. She had
nice full, round breasts and her pussy was nice and tight. After being
stroked the right way with my tongue, her well would overflow, and she
became Niagara Falls. We would hook up every so often after work, and
chill at my place. Tiff , as I call her, would hook us up something to
eat. We would kick back, watch some sattelite television, and eventually
fucking until I felt she was content. I admit I was never satisfied
because she was not what I really wanted. I wanted a man. Not just any
type of man. I wanted a man like myself or better. He had to be strong,
dominant, and passionate. Though my deep feelings were for I man, I
played my role as a heterosexual and made sure that Tiffany was always
satisfied. I never gave any indication that I was gay. I also didn't give
any indication of settling down with her. I dealt with Tiffany when I
needed to deal with her. Don't get me wrong, I called her during the week
to make sure she was okay, but I focused so much of my time on work
that I didn't get caught up in the 'why you haven't been calling me'
game. She knew my schedule in the beginning so we established how we were
going to deal with one another form the beginning. Though we were
fucking, she was not my girlfriend and we both knew that. On occassions,
she would ask me to go out. Basically, she wanted me to take her on a
date. I did it 3 times, but I felt so uncomfortable kissing and shit in
public that I didn't bother asking to do it again. Instead, whenever she
asked I would make up an excuse about having so much work. After a while,
she stopped asking to go out with me. That was fine by me.

Well time had progressed, a year had passed and I was still living
the same simple life. I was still seeing Tiffany, but she was now
ready for settling down so we weren't exactly on the same page anymore.
We were definitely still fucking, but lately she was starting to become
more emotional about our arrangement. After debating the next level of
our relationship with Tiffany, I had decided that we would stop fucking
and just remain friends. She wasn't trying to hear that shit. I was every
motherfucker in the book. I was ready to treat her ass like a mutt and
really kick her to the curb, but fate threw a curveball and my company
promoted me. That changed my frame of mind one hundred and eighty
degrees. My promotion would mean that I would not have to work like a
slave, instead it would allow me to live comfortably. Though it would be
only human nature to go over the edge with my new income, I decided to
chill. Instead, I decided to celebrate and Tiffany was shocked to know
that I wanted to celebrate with her. Instead of retaliating with fire, I
thought it would be in my best nature to smoothe things over with Tiffany
by being a gentleman.

Tiffany and I decided to go out to a nice bar with a sit-down
restaurant that also had a dancing section. Since I was feeling in a good
mood, I decided to let loose for a minute. I stood on the dance floor,
and she danced around me as I did a basic two step. Tiffany was having a
good time, and so was I. We laughed and we talked, and we even buried the
hatchet agreeing to hook up every so often for a 'reunion fuck'. I
realized by the top of the night that much of our conversation was
alcohol induced. I thought to myself 'damn I like her better when I am
drunk' then laughed out loud. She looked at me crazily then she started
to laugh. I noticed that she was looking at the dance floor again.

"Hey you want to hit the floor again?" she asked obviously feeling her

"Naw not this round. My ass is tired. Go ahead and I will be watching
you. Don't dance to hard I might get hard and want you to dance for me
naked." I said flirting with her. Now I knew that I was drunk.

She smiled seductively and said "Now we wouldn't want that to happen now
would we."

I looked at her and smiled then shooed her away from me. Laughing at
our antics. As Tiffany danced until her heart was content, I watched her.
She had found this nice looking young guy to groove with, and he
obviously had more then just dancing on his mind. I was glad that someone
had took her attention off of me. I got up and strolled over to the bar.
I ordered another Long Island Iced Tea, and a Hennessey and Coke drink. I
was sitting and I noticed this guy out the corner of my eye talking shit
to the barteneder. They obviously were joking around, but he was so damn
loud and boisterous that I was curious what they were talking about. I
glanced over and I looked at the guy who was loud, and he looked
familiar. I looked at him trying to place where I knew him. I was having
trouble remembering where I knew him from. Tiffany came up behind me and
wrapped her arms around my waist.

"Playa, are you ready to get your private dance?" she said as her hand
moved towards my thigh area.

I smiled and said "Yeah I think I am ready for that private dance."

I got up and began walking to the door. Just as I begin to leave the
building, I remembered his name out loud which startled Tiffany.

"Who is Captain Barnes?" she asked.

"Captain from the army. He was cool as shit, but strict as a
motherfucker. I remember his loud talking anywhere." I said as I
turned pulling her along to go speak to the Captain. I walked up behind
him and saluted him in my best army salute. Being Captain Barnes
he snapped to attention and ordered 'At Ease soldier'. I smiled and gave
him a brotha man hug.

"Was Sup Captain Barnes...I knew that was you from across the room." I

"Well I could tell from that country ass salute that it had to be someone
from company B, Seventy Fifth Infantry. All yall sounding like you was
straight out of a plantation" he joked.

"Umm Hmm" Tiffany signaled me to introduce her.

"Oh my fault Captain, this here is Tiffany. We were out celebrating my
promotion." I informed him.

"Oh congratulations, bring a round of tequila Chuck, we got us a new
Captain" Captain Barnes said not realizing that I wasn't in the army

"Uh sir, I am retired from the army. I was talking about my job as
a computer analyst. I was promoted at my job." I said

"You aren't in the army any more. You said you retired. You're too young
to be retired. You haven't been shot yet. You know how many fire fights I
have been in, and you are retired. Why I should make you drop and give
me a hundred. Well shit, you are civilian I can't grind on your ass,
but I can get you drunk. Here's to the army." Captain Barnes handed me my
shot, and gave me a firm grasp on the shoulders.

"To Good Times in the army" he toasted. Then he slammed down the tequila
shot. The Captain, Tiffany, and I drank and drank. Laughing as he told
us story after story. Although he wasn't the captain of my unit, we did
interact on the base quite often. Captain William Barnes was Headquarter
company, First Battalion Seventy-Fifth Infantry.

He was very dedicated to the army, and he definitely didn't take any
shit. But off base, he was lively and always at the 'watering hole.' I
looked at Captain Barnes as a father figure although he was only eight
years older then me. I still had to give it to him at 38 he looked as
though he was my age. He definitely was in peak physical shape. Tiffany
went back onto the dance floor slightly annoyed because my attention
was on the captain. We talked about how things where in the army, and he
informed me of all that had taken place after I left.

After talking and drinking for over an hour, I finally decided to
call it a night. He informed me to stay in touch with him, and then
Tiffany and I went home to my place. When we got there, Tiffany found
some reserved energy and she pulled me down unto the floor. I fucked her
on the stairs giving it to her the way she liked it...nice and hard. I
found myself pounding away at her pussy which was so wet. I actually was
engrossed in making her cum. I saw the way her face contorted as I was
stroking her clitoris with my dick. I began to drive in deeper the whole
time imagining if it felt this way with a guy. I was imagining me in
Tiffany's position. I wondered would I take it like a soldier or would I
be yelping like Tiffany was now. Before I knew it, she was digging her
nails into my back and I was cumming streams of cum into the condom. I
was spent, and part of me was content just laying on the stairs and going
to sleep.

The next day, I woke to breakfast in bed. I must admit I hit that
ass about two more times that night before the alcohol really took a hold
of me. She was looking good as usual. she kissed me before she left for
work. Tiffany was definitely in a good mood, and I believe she only
wanted me sometimes for a quick, convenient fuck. I am glad that was all
she wanted, because deep inside I was in turmoil. That night I had dreamt
of the young guy grinding on Tiffany. In my dreams, he was pressed
tightly up against me, and Tiffany was looking at us with tears in her
eyes. I was wrapped tightly in his arms, and his penis was rubbing up
against mine. When I woke from this dream, I was fully aroused and I
admit that was one of the reasons why I fucked Tiffany more then once
that night. I was thinking about the young guy pounding my ass, and the
more I thought about him pounding me...I pounded her. She moaned and
screamed and so did I. Not from the physical pleasure she was providing.
I was experiencing the psychological pleasure my on dream was providing,
and it felt good.

I noticed that doing the following weeks, I was noticing little
things that was attractive about some of the guys I ran into at work.
Like the delivery boy who wears these tight little shorts and they fit
his butt so snug but aren't necessarily spandex tight. I would imagine me
fucking him in the elevator, and him sucking my dick. In my sight, he was
so feminine. Or when I would come across Andre, the weight trainer, I
would imagine him locking my legs in the missionary position and
piledriving my ass until I orgasmed. Many days, I left so aroused that it
hurt to even walk. I occupied my time by doing house chores, or running

One day after a long day at work, I decided that I would go to the
gym and then to the movies. Tiffany and I were finally starting to part
ways, and though I was relieved by this, I did miss her company. I
arrived at the gym, and did an hour work-out. After showering and
ignoring advances by men and women, I went to pick up something to eat.
Then I went to see Along Came A Spider. The movie was good, and Morgan
Freeman is a good actor. He played his role well. After the movie, I was
ready to go home. As I was exiting the movie theatre someone called my
name, but they called me as Lt. Williams. I turned wondering who this
could be that was calling me by my army rank and all.

"Well, if this isn't a chance encounter, soldier. You look like you just
got caught with your dick in your hand." Captain Barnes laughed as he
extended his hands for a handshake.

"Was sup, Captain. I knew you were a stalker but I didn't think you'd be
stalking me." I joked as I shook his hand.

"Where the hell are you rushing off too. What is it...that hot
girl...what's her name Tiffany? She looks like a winner." Captain Barnes
asked jokingly.

"Naw, we are not seeing each other anymore." I replied.

"Well ain't that a bitch. If I had of known that I would have put in my
bid at the bar." he said jokingly.

"Sir, I do believe you are married. I don't think the misses would
appreciate that one bit." I said.

"Well the misses don't have any say in what I do, and we are divorcing
anyway, so it wouldn't matter." he replied.

"Sorry to hear that, sir" I said.

"Well I knew you were sorry, but you don't have to be about me getting a
divorce. I always look at the chance for new pussy as a welcomed
opportunity. An I always believe in equal opportunity. And enough with
this sir, and captain bullshit. We are not at the barracks. Call me that
when you reenlist. Right now, call me Will. By the way, where exactly are
you off too? he asked.

"Well, I was going home and just kick back and relax." I said.

"Why don't you follow 'the tank', and let's go hang out at this new
tittie bar downtown." he said.

"The 'tank'?" I asked.

"Yeah, 'The Tank' my Navigator truck. I call it 'The Tank.' " he said.

"Oh okay!. I don't have any problems with that. I could use a drink." I

I went to my car, and he pulled up beside me. About fifteen minutes
later , we were entering The Vanity Garden, this new club that had
strippers, belly dancers and a sit down restaurant. I was impressed at
how they had the place decorated. It was decorated like a harem, and the
female waiters were dressed in harem outfits and the men were dressed as
eunuchs. The music was regular hip-hop/r-n-b, but when the females
performed they used arabic music or african music. This place was nice.
The bar was nice, and the bartender, Dyn' Juan, was very cool. He
obviously knew Captain Barnes, because he prepared him a gin and juice
drink right away. After slamming down five drinks, I was relaxed enough
to feel comfortable around the captain. Captain Barnes talked about how
his wife was angry with him for reenlisting, and that she asked for a
divorce because she felt he loved his work better. Although, this to me
was a painful subject to discuss, it didn't bother him. He laughed about
being able to keep up with the girls at this bar, and then he talked more
about the military. After some grub and some more drinks, the alcohol
began to really take its toll. Captain Barnes talked about finally being
free to enjoy his career, and also travel and do what he wanted. We
debated back and forth over war strategies, and went from that to how the
government is fucked up. I found out that he had a masters in psychology,
and a bachelors in applied physics. I was impressed while enlisted I
majored in computer technology and I minored in psychology. I found that
we had a lot of things in common. Technically in astrology we were
opposites, he was an air sign and I was a fire sign but we had a lot in
common. We looked at the strippers and I was amazed at how limber the
belly dancers were. We talked about some of the hot girls on base, and
then we drunk some more. We got into a heated discussion about war. We
also got into a heated discussion about the difference in self -defense
and being violent. I debated and he debated passionately. Although, he
was as drunk as a skunk he really was quite alert, and made some valid
points. I was impressed. As the night progressed, I began to notice
things about the captain that made me feel uneasy. I noticed the
smootheness of his skin, and the roughness of his hands. I noticed during
discussions he looked deeply into my eyes, and there was a sparkle from
the light. I noticed his thich black eyelashes, and his thin lips. I
noticed his chest though he was slim, you could tell he did push-ups or
lifted weights. I guess I was noticing things of attraction. As he
continued to talk, I would study the movements of his lips as they parted
to form words. I would imagine them touching my lips lightly before we
connected in a passionate kiss. Every so often he would say something to
bring me out of my fantasy. I would make open ended remarks to make
converstaion, and then I would just watch him run with the topic. I was
content just watching him be unruly, and curse, and act a fool.

At about 2 a.m. I had to call it quites. I was tired and I knew that
I had things to take care of on Saturday. But I made up my mind that a
late start wouldn't stop me from finishing my tasks. Captain Barnes,
though we were both drunk, offered to take me home. I looked at him and
laughed at the fact that he thought he was capable of taking me home. I
settled for him following me home. We parted ways once I got to my house,
and after a nice shower, I crashed in the bed. I had a hot dream about me
and the captain. I woke with a major hard-on. I needed to relieve myself
bad. I unleashed my dick, and began to stroke slowly. I thought about the
captian, and began to speed up until I was moaning. My eyes closed
tightly, and my lips quivering as I approached a massive orgasm. I moaned
loudly as the first stream of cum landed on my lip. Then the rest landed
on my chin, my chest, and finally my stomach. I convulted because of my
excitement. After laying about 2 minutes to recuperate, I got up, wiped
myself off, showered, checked the time, and was off to the office to sign
off on some paper work. During the day, I couldn't help but think about
the captain. I was almost ready to stop pass the base to see whether or
not he was there, but then I thought about him asking my purpose for
coming to the base. I quickly changed my mind.

Weeks went past and I still thought about the captain. I was still
having erotic fantasies about this man. I was definitely infatuated with
him, but I didn't have the courage to even approach him on a platonic
level. Instead, I settled for fantasies about him. I also noticed that
during my fantasies about him my body became more sensitive. When Tiffany
and I fucked it was good. We were intense but these new sensations that I
would get made me think a lot about giving up my body to another man. I had
never been penetrated by another man nor have I penetrated another man. I
had never given oral sex to a man nor have I received oral sex, but in my
fantasies I was sucking the captain's dick, and I was letting him fuck
me. I was definitely caught up. I was enthralled by everything about him. I
liked his 'Al Bundy' mannerisms and way of thinking. I liked his
aggressiive nature. It was that much more excitng to see it on a black
man. I liked the fact that he never showed signs of weakness. I like his
simplistic nature. His lack of concern for material things. I liked the
fact that he did everything he wanted to do, and he answered to no one but
GOD. Even the army allowed him to be himself. I thought that I was
infatuated, but deep inside I knew that I was in love with Captain
Barnes. That explained my feelings of security when we were together. It
explained how normal lust filled fantasies turned into me being in a sort
of masculine house wife type of role. I wanted to be his second half. I
might be going over board but I did want him deeply.

After a week of meetings and typed papers and debates with my boss,
I was ready to jump off a cliff. I hadn't been sleeping well and I wasn't
eating right either. I was moody, and I was in a sexual drought. I didn't
even have the strength to masterbate. I needed to get away. I
guess someone up above was listening, because late Thursday night I
received a call from Captain Barnes. He invited me to go out to his cabin
for the weekend, and we would kick back and chill with some beers, some
nature, and whatever else. Of course, I didn't give the invitation a
second thought. I was game for it. I called out of work for the weekend,
and immediately began packing my stuff. I hadn't been in the woods in a
long while, and I was excited about being in the woods especially with
Captain Barnes. After he called me, my day seemed to get brighter. I was
so full of energy. He said he would be picking me up at 700 hrs and that
was good for me.

I showered, double checked my packed bags, and then thought of
different scenarios that could play out this weekend. After all that
fantasizing, I came back to reality. First, the captain didn't know I was
gay. Secondly, he didn't give off any vibes that he was gay. Third, he
invited me as an army buddy, coming on to him would ruin our relationship
as well as get my ass kicked. I decided to put my lust for him at ease,
and settle for a fun weekend. I went to sleep anxious for my weekend to

I woke up at about 6 in the morning. I took a shower, and got
dressed. I had some coffee and a couple of bagels then I was ready for
the captain to pick me up. At about a quarter to seven, I heard Captain
Barnes beeping his horn. I opened the door, waved to let him know I was
coming, grabbed my three bags, and went out to the truck to load up.

"Well, I thought you were going to back out at the last minute but I see
you are up and ready" the Captain stated.

"Yeah well who else is going to show you how it's really done in the
wood" I joked.

"We will see how much of a man you really are once we get there" the
Captain stated.

I looked over at him, and noticed the mischievous look in his eyes.
I immediately prepared myself for some surprise such as some men
ambushing me in a mock prisoner of war scenario. I put on my game face,
and got in the truck. We drove for about three hours until we reached his
cabin deep in the woods. I was glad that I brought my jacket, because
despite the sun outside it was still cold. I got out and took a deep
whiff of the air. I felt free, and ready to unwind. I got my bags, and
went into the cabin to unpack. Then, the Captain and I was off fishing,
and relaxing. After a couple of hours of fishing, we saw that we had more
then enough to have some grub with. I decided to take a nap, and the
Captain decided to take a swim. I went up into the cabin, and went to
sleep. I woke up and it was just about sunset. The food was prepped and
ready, but Captain Barnes was no where to be found. Something deep within
urged me to go look out the window, and I followed my intuition. When I
looked out the window, I saw the Captain buck naked on the dock ready to
dive into the lake. I was in complete shock. The dock was right down the
hill. It was close enough to make out that he was naked. I stood watching
him until he dove into the pool. My throat went dry immediately at the
sight of his nakedness, and when he reemerged from the pool I almost
lost all self-control. Although I could see him from the cabin, I
couldn't see his body up close. I decided to walk up on him as he was
swimming and surprise him. I took off my shoes and socks, and I crept
down to the lake as he was swimming. I watched as he dove under the
water. His body looked like melted chocolate as he swam. He was swimming
towards the middle of the lake oblivious to everything around him when
suddenly I heard him call out. Immediately, I snapped out of my fantasy
about him, and looked on with suspicion. Then I saw his arm thrust into
the air as if he was fighting to get out of the water. Now, I knew that
Captain Barnes could swim like a dolphin, and I knew that he has had
training in every imaginable situation that could happen while in the
water, so whatever it was I had to act immediately. I jumped into the
water, and winced from the coldness of the water. I began to swim towards
the captain swiftly. As I got closer I could hear him yelling for help.
His voice still harsh and masculine, was muffled by the occassional pull
from the currents beneath him. As I approached him, I saw him go down. I
waited five seconds and he didn't reemerge. I then went down under the
water after him. He drifted slowly, eyes closed, arms moving slightly,
and I began to think that I was too late. I pushed forward to catch up
with him, and barely grabbed his arm. I was gettng tired, but I had to
persevere. I pulled him up close to me, and wrapped my arms around his
waist, and began to ascend to the surface of the lake. I began to swim
with the Captain unconscious over my shoulder.

As I got about four strokes away from the dock, the Captain
began laughing. I looked at him confused. I knew he wasn't dead but I
assumed he was unconscious. I didn't know that he was even aware that I
was there. He began to laugh even harder, and I stopped to look to make
sure that he was laughing, and not actually crying. All of a sudden, he
lifted his head with a sinister look and said 'Gotcha good.' I looked
at him in confusion, then went from confusion straight to anger, and I
believe he picked up on my anger. Without giving me any warning, he
grabbed my legs and flipped me leaving only enough room to grab a quick
breath. I went under, and he followed as we began to water wrestle. After
about five minutes my shirt was floating in the water, and I was
struggling to keep my pants from being used to tie my arms. After an hour
of water wrestling, I was tired. The sun had set and we were the only two
in the lake. I began to float slowly to the docks. I felt Captain Barnes
beside me, and before he could get me. I dunked him underwater.
He emerged right in front of me clearing the excess water from his face.

"I told you we would have a good time" the Captain said.

"Yeah this is what I needed. I have been stressed out, and backed up.
This definitely took a lot off of my mind" I replied noticing how dark it
was getting, and wondering does this lake have water snakes.

"Well, it's good finally getting to know you. I wish we could have done
this a bit sooner. Like while you were still enlisted " he replied.

"Yeah this is a excellent getaway. Now I wish I had invited Tiffany" I
said. I thought deeply about a scenerio that would have happened if
Tiffany were here and I wasn't aroused. But as soon as my thoughts went
back to the Captain, I began to immediately get aroused. At that exact
point, I realized I was naked in front of him. Then it dawned on me that
he was naked too.

"I hope I didn't mess your head up earlier with that joke." he said his
voice showing some sign of emotion.

"Yes the fuck you did, but it's all good. I am cool. I owe you one ass
kicking" I joked.

"Well I couldn't help myself. You were looking so stupid. I had to get
you, but I can always make it up to you" he stated.

"Yeah, I bet. And how is that." I asked.

He looked up at the moon, and instinctively I looked up with him.
Then when I looked down he was face to face with me. I felt everything go
silent at that moment. There was no one left in the world but us. It
seemed as though the currents began to slowly push us towards one
another, and then it happened...

Our lips touched slightly. The electricity in that mere kiss made the
temperature of the water rise around us. It was the prelude to the
invitation into my body. I hesitated the second time our lips touched,
but it felt so natural when Captain Barnes placed his arms around my
waist I allowed him to kiss me deeply. I closed my eyes and exhaled,
because I was actually with a man. Not just any man, but the man that I
was waiting for. I never believed in tales of love at first sight. I
never believed that I would actually feel so strongly towards another
man. I believed that was my dark wants and desires, that if I ignored,
even denied myself these pleasures I would be okay. As we kissed
passionately, I realized how detrimental my philosophy was. I realized
that today I actually was living, and that since I was twelve, I had been
a lifeless shell. Now at 30, I was actually given a chance to live, and
it felt good. All in a single kiss.

Captain Barnes hugged me close as we kissed. The strength in his arms
secured both my mental, and my physical. I arched my neck back and to the
side as his tongue drew a line down my neck. My breath became shallow. I
pulled his head deep into me as he found new erogenous zones. I closed my
eyes, and then a feeling of anxiety came over me and I pushed him a way

"What's wrong?" The Captain asked.

"Is this right? I mean I don't want you to think I am a punk or sissy. I
have never did this with a man before...I don't want you to be
different...I am scared" I finally admitted. All my defenses came
tumbling down. The Great Wall that I had built for so many years was now
coming down. The closet I had been in for so long was now finally being
opened. Part of me wanted to cry, and part of me wanted to hide. I wanted
to hide from GOD, and my grandfather, and my father, and all the other
people that I didn't want to judge me. I wanted to retreat but I had no
where go. Captain Barnes pulled me back in front of him. During our kiss
we had drifted back to the shallow part of the lake, where we were able
to stand and feel the sand at our feet.

"I know you are afraid, but we are two of a kind. You and I. When my wife
divorced me, I only felt love for the U.S. Army. I felt love for no one.
I was bitter. When I started to get to know you, I realized that I was
human, and I needed someone that could be a part of me. I thought that
the someone would be a woman, and hoped that my true feelings were only
my hormones taking ahold of me. But when we went out a while back, I
noticed something in your eyes. I noticed the way you hung onto every
word I said. I knew you were different. I guess it was at that moment
that I had to face the truth. That I could have feelings for another
person, but the biggest part was that I could have feelings for you
another man. Tonight it felt natural being with you, and I had to have
this experience. If only for this night just to see if what i was feeling
was right, and so far it has been magnificent" he stated, looking me in
my eyes as our drifting bodies slowed down, and finally stopped. We stood
eye to eye.

"I don't know what to do...I am confused...this is fucking me up
inside...I want to..." I stopped as emotions built in my throat. I wanted
to break down. I was feeling weak. I wanted to put up a fight. I
wanted my defenses but they were all gone.

"I know what you want me." he stated, just before he pressed
his lips to mine, and we kissed. This time I felt that explosion deep
inside when your heart is touched. When the passion of two beings bring
forth a natural phenomenon that rocks the innermost depths of your soul.

His arms aound my lower back, and my arms around his neck. My chest
pressed against his as our bodies began to fuse with one another. I felt
his stiffness pressing against my inner thigh. Nine inches of
uncircumcised manhood pressing against me, and my 8 and a half inch dick
pressed against his leg. We kissed endlessly, exploring each others
bodies, and touching each other. I realized laying on the sand as water
crept under me that I was living my fantasy.

How would I let it play out? Would I allow my fears to dictate the
next move, or would I let go and allow fate to take it's course? I
decided I would let fate take it's course. Following fate would
mean giving up my second virginity. A part of me was excited,
and another part was scared. I always pictured me giving up my ass to a
man as the most sacrificial task a man could do. That meant that my
dominance in that momment would be gone. My manhold would be stripped and
I would be in a submissive position. I looked up at the Captain and
wondered if he could tell that I didn't know what to do. I wondered if he
knew the depth that I was giving him the most intimate part of me.
I wanted to tell him that this was my first time, but I didn't want to
sound cheesy. I closed my eyes and followed his lead. We continued to
kiss deeply, and I was anxious to explore the rest of his body. In my
head I started to envision what Tiffany would do to me. I rolled him
over, and straddled his waist. I bent forward to suck on his chest, and I
felt his hands grab my ass and hips as I licked his nipples in a circular
motion. I held his hands as I sucked on his neck the way that Tiffany
sucked on mine so many times before. He rolled me onto my back and began
to suck on my chest, but the way he did it was completetly different from
the way I sucked on his chest. He pulled on my chest and nipples as if
they were breast. I moaned as he grabbed my left pec, and sucked on my
right one. As he sucked on them, he grinded his dick into my dick leaving
gobs of precum on me. As he was sucking on my chest, he used his index
finger to control my moans and groans. His rough index finger pressed
against the palates of my tongue. They tasted like lake water, but it was
good. I moaned even louder when I felt the same index finger press
against my asshole. I wandered if he could tell by my tightness that I
was a virgin. I closed my eyes as he licked the index finger, then stuck
it back into my mouth, and finally began pressing it against my asshole
once more. He did this ritual for several minutes eventually pushing pass
my sphincter muscle into me, and it felt like my insides where on fire. I
moaned deeply as he sucked passionately on my neck. If he kept grinding
me, I would have cum all over myself, so I rolled over on top of him once
again. This time I was about to perform a task that I had never performed
before. I psyched myself up as I licked down his chest to his navel
eventually reaching his wiry bush of black pubic hair. I wanted to smell
the scent of his pubic bush, and pressed my face in them taking a deep
sniff. The smell was fresh and natural. I let my tongue lick the base of
his dick. I envisioned his dick as an ice cream stick...nice and
chocolate. I grabbed it, and it felt strange holding his dick in my hand.
I glanced up at him, and he was looking at me with anticipation. I
extended my tongue, and began to lick up his shaft to the tip of his
dick. I was greet with some precum. The taste was salty and sticky. I
engulfed the head of his dick as if I was shaping an ice cream
head...trying to create a different shape. I sucked his dick
slowly, using my tongue to massage the underside of his dick. I watched
as his body began to gyrate with pleasure. I enjoyed sucking his dick.
this joy was purely psychological. The thought of me pleasing him the way
that a woman could actually made me feel good. I looked at his face
contort as I sucked the head of his dick. After about five minutes of me
sucking his dick, he pulled me up to his face and kissed me. This kiss
was unlike the first time. Behind this kiss was emotions. The emotion
that stood out clearly and shocked me There was love in this
kiss, and I knew at that moment that I loved him. I wanted to be with him
in every aspect. I wanted him inside of me. I allowed him to get back on
top of me. I opened my legs and allowed him to play with my asshole some
more. My face told him if I was in pleasure or if I was in pain. He began
to lift my legs, and bring my ass to his face. I looked on in amazement,
because I wasn't ready for what he was about to do. Suddenly, his face
was buried in my ass, and I was moaning like a true woman. I was trying
to contain myself but his tongue was so long, and it was inside of me
making circular motions. My asshole tingled with pleasure, and my dick
leaked cum all over my stomach. I was so aroused that I called out to
him. I called his name, and gave him permission to take my ass. I wanted
him to shape me...make me his concubine. At peak arousal, he began to
penetrate me. He started slow...pressing the head of his uncircumcised
dick against my wet asshole. Then he began to push it inside of me
slowly. I felt my ass give way as he slid in too fast, and I pushed his
dick back out of me. The initial shock was tremendous, and my ass quickly
tightened in a spasm. I bit my lip because it did hurt. Captain Barnes
then leaned forward and kissed me. Assuring me that everything would be
alright, then he instructed me to relax.

After coaching me to relax, he began to penetrate me once more. This
time when he penetrated me I allowed him to press deep into me. His dick
was so damn long, and hard. It felt like he was in my stomach. Then he
finally laid on top of me with my legs wrapped around his back, and I
could have sworn he was in my stomach. I began to breath as if I was in
labor. Exhaling and inhaling heavily as he pushed his dick further into
me. I moaned planting my hands on his thighs to control how deep he
entered me, but he was already deep inside. I held on as he withdrew
controlling the speed in which he exited. For several minutes, he moved
at an extremely slow pace...allowing me time to get used to the size of
his dick. While he slowly fucked me, he would whisper consoling words to
help me relax as well as to excite me. He coached me until I was ready
for him to really fuck me. My ass, now opened to accomodate the length
and girth of his dick, was ready for his onslaught. He began to slowly
grind my ass. Making the juices swell within until his dick glistened
with my wetness. The sound of my wetness sloshing as he rotated in
circular motions mixed with my moans and deep groans made an erotic
symphony. He accelerated his speed and slowly began a rocking back and
forth grind that massaged my prostate. My eyes closed as I felt my
prostate being massaged deeply. Pressing against my bladder. Giving the
impression that I had to urine. My dick responded with a long string of
cum dripping into my belly button. Then he began to withdraw slowly, and
then enter slowly. I winced in painful pleasure as I adjusted to the new
sensation. I was sweating. Every nerve in my body was on edge, and then
he changed once more. Exiting slowly and then slamming back into me. My
ass burned, and I lifted my head, gripping his shoulders as he began to
fuck me with long hard strokes. I moaned loudly. Then I began to breath,
but he maintained his assault. Eventually banging my ass until I was
calling his name. Pleading with him to stop...begging him for mercy as he
piledrived my ass. My asshole was being ravaged and I didn't want him to
stop. I grabbed his head and neck as he locked my shoulders. He stroked
deep and hard..and I moaned, whined, and screamed with every thrust. I
was being fucked, but it was so natural. The night air surrounding our
hot bodies. The water massaging my back. The sound of crickets, and the
flicking lightning bugs made the scenery perfect. We continued fucking,
and slowly ended our lustful beginning with a calm ending....making love.
I was now opened, and what started as a fuck ended with me riding him.
His dick planted deep inside of me. I leaned forward rotating my hips as
he held my ass, and followed my motions with his hips. We kissed and
licked...pulled and bit one another. We sucked and slurped...pinched and
clawed each other. Lips smacking, bodies entwined like aged vines around
a tree trunk..we dance a forbidden dance...a ballet of a love that dared
not speak it's name. I cried...not in pain but emotional overload. I had
millions of nerves that were being stimulated simultaneously, and I
couldn't stop the tears. My body toes curled..and I let out a
scream in ecstacy as the first volley of cum landed on his chest. As I
began to cum volley after volley hugging his neck and begging him to
continue, he began to thrust his dick deep inside of me. Burying his cum
deep inside of my stomach. Saturating my walls with his fertile seeds. He
held tightly professing great love, and claiming my ass as his own. The
night grew quiet in this moment as if waiting for my response. The light
from the cabin struggled to penetrate the darkness...I said yes. I said
yes to Captain Barnes. I wanted to journey this road of life with him. We
kissed deeply, and I cried softly but we both understood why. I was
alive...and I finally new it. I was happy...for the first time. And for
the first time..I believed in love.

That night we made love. That weekend we made music. As I close this
letter, I can say that William is still as stubborn as a mule, but after
my visit to Vermont last year I found that being Mr. and Mr. William
Barnes is the happiest ending this story could have.

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