Looking back over his life, Luke was able to conclude that he'd
done it all. Now, 75, and in retirement at Carter Court after 40 years of
teaching at the university level, he had plenty of time to review the ups
and downs of his career and muse, philosophically, over these same.
After completing high school, he pursued a calling for the
priesthood and entered the seminary at 18. Idealistic, he took seriously
his venture. There were problems, of course. His greatest preoccupation
had to do with sex and his proclivity to men, and, older men, in
particular. But at that time, he felt that celibacy was the solution to
his problem and, naively, strove towards the ideal of serving his fellow
man spiritually and seeking his own salvation through his faith. At the
end of his second year of seminary, he changed his goals. After reading
the Fathers of the early church, he opted for the asceticism exemplified in
their search for the spiritual and sought entrance into a Benedictine
monastery. In the Order of St. Benedict, he found that ideal exemplified
in its motto: Ora et Labora, Prayer and Work. Thus, at the end of his
second year, he entered the novitiate to begin his serious study of the
asceticism as found in the Rule of St. Benedict. As before, he took this
year and one day very seriously and managed to keep his sexual appetite
under control. This was a remarkable feat considering his age, 20, a time
of life that is unrelenting in pressing for sexual outlet. There were the
wet dreams that came with leading a celibate life. But he took those in
stride, reflecting, correctly, that he hadn't intended them and that they
were perfectly normal. The body, he concluded, had its own needs and those
needs asserted themselves when they deemed necessary.
At the end of his novitiate period, he continued his scholastic
studies in the seminary, the goal being the receipt of his baccalaureate in
Philosophy. Needless to say, he excelled and thrived in the monastic
setting of balancing his prayer, studies and work, the Ora et Labora, of
St. Benedict. While in the novitiate, he learned to barber. Learning this
skill is arbitrary. Usually, the novice master chooses one person to
apprentice and he then comes under the tutelage of the several barbers that
had been chosen in the same way he had been. As in other things, he
excelled at this task. It wasn't long before the Abbot himself came to
Frater Luke, as was his chosen religious name, for haircuts.
Needless to say, the choice of Frater Luke as his barber was mostly
motivated by vanity, the Abbot being a handsome old man in his seventies.
His full head of gray hair required the grooming necessary for his station,
governing the monks of the abbey and representing the abbey in public.
Luke, too, was delighted that the Abbot chose him for his barbering needs.
But he noticed, as well, that the temptations of the flesh reignited. The
physical proximity to the Abbot was enough to stir up the sexual drives,
that, until now, lay dormant, or, at least, in relative dormancy. At every
haircut involving the Abbot, Luke had erections. Once, too, with the
accidental touch of his groin by the Abbot's elbow, he exploded with an
orgasm, the intensity of which he had never experienced. The volume of
sperm was incredibly large, much of it running down his pant leg, into his
shoe and, ultimately, on the floor. Aggravating this scenario was the
Abbot's need for haircuts at a moments notice. Often, he would appear at
Luke's room and ask him to come down to his suite to give him a trim.
Usually, it had to do with a speaking engagement or some public appearance
and, he needed to look his best.
The intensity of Luke's temptations became even greater at these
times. Often, the Abbot would sit on the toilet stool with only a ribbed
undershirt, exposing his upper body to Luke in partial nudity. At these
times, the erections were painfully rigid. At these times, too, his
orgasms, when they occurred, were indescribably intense. In his later
years, reflecting on these episodes, he concluded that celibacy contributed
to these exceedingly pleasant episodes of orgasm. Philosophically, he
mused, that temporary celibacy might enhance the sex act, making it more
In the ensuing year, the Abbot began to take a deeper interest in
Luke. He learned that he typed and requested the cleric master to assign
Luke to him for routine typing of letters and filing. Since the Abbot had
had a history of heart problems, the cleric master even added, "It's high
time you asked for some help. Luke is the perfect person to help you."
Now Luke's dilemma increased two fold. As barber, he was tempted
by his close proximity to the Abbot. As clerical assistant, his functions
kept him in the Abbot's suite, his office and bedroom, most of the time.
The temptations increased. Once, when he arrived in the Abbot's suite, he
heard the Abbot shout, "Is that you Luke? Come here for a minute."
Luke realized that he was bathing. His entire body shook with
excitement at this new outcome. Never had he seen the Abbot naked and
feared for his reaction to this new revelation.
Standing outside the bathroom door, he answered, "Yes, is there
something I can do?"
"Yes, look in the cabinet for some towels. I forgot to put one
Luke entered the bathroom, breathless and shaking, barely able to
talk. He took in the Abbot sitting naked in the tub, his gray hair tousled
over his forehead, the smooth skin of his chest and breasts glistening with
droplets of water. His slight stomach protruded above the line of water
showing signs of a vestige of faint hair leading from his navel to his
Luke moved quickly to the cabinet, grabbed a towel and offered it
to the Abbot.
"Give me your hand Luke. It's hard for me to stand."
Luke offered his hand and support and drew him out of the water.
He supported his arm and his waist as he helped him step onto the bath
carpet. He stammered, "Can I dry your back, Father Abbot?"
"Yes, yes Luke. Please do!" he countered.
As Luke dried his back, he took in the ascetic beauty of his body.
It was a patrician body, lithe, firm. The flaccid muscles of his buttocks
and the slight paunch were the only traits that indicated his age. His
cock and testicles, warmed by the long immersion in water, hung loosely and
swayed slightly to the pressure of the towel as Luke dried his back and
buttocks. The cock measured a good 3 inches flaccid and Luke tried hard to
imagine it standing hard, offering itself to his mouth. The intensity of
the emotion was too much for Luke's cock. He felt its spurts into his
underwear. Again, as before, the volume of sperm amazed him as he found it
running down his leg onto the bathroom floor. He sighed, a sigh that
inwardly screamed his pleasure. It was enough of a sigh for the Abbot to
"Are you OK, Luke?"
"No, no Father Abbot. I'm fine. I'm fine. I just wanted to wipe
up some of the water that dropped onto the floor."
He quickly grabbed a face cloth nearby and wiped the floor at the
Abbot's feet, mainly of the drippings from his hot cock. With that, he
took note of the Abbot's feet that stood at finger's length from him as
well as his cock, which in his kneeling position stood inches from his face
and mouth. He wanted to kiss those feet, tenderly. His body desperately
wanted to take his sweet cock deep into his mouth and lovingly suck it dry
of the imagined cum that lay in the testicles, inches from his mouth. The
odor of his masculinity permeated his nostrils. Nervously, he slid the
stool that stood nearby toward the Abbot.
"Please sit down. Let me dry your feet."
"Oh, Luke. That's not necessary. I can take care of that."
"NO! NO! I'm already here. Let me help," his voice crackled in
As he dried his feet, the Abbot talked about what he would like
Luke to do this day.
"I've got some letters piled up on the desk. Type them and let's
see if we can get them in the mail today. Also, the other pile is stuff
that has to be filed. That shouldn't take you too long. I'm sure you've
got some studies to take care of so I won't keep you too long."
Little did he know that Luke's preference would have been never to
leave the Abbot but to be at his beck and call for the entire day, 24 hours
a day, 7 days a week. Luke's smile gave mute testimony to that desire, a
smile that escaped the Abbot unless had he been watching closely.
More than two years passed. The proximity to the Abbot continued
to reinforce his love and affection for him. For the Abbot, too, something
was happening. He found Luke to be his confidant more and more. He began
relating more and more intimate feelings and experiences of his to Luke.
One, which was mostly medical, had to do with constipation.
"Luke, I'm sure you could do without this kind of revelation. But
I need to ask someone that I can trust. For some time now, I've been
having trouble with constipation. It gets terrible, so terrible that I
actually gag and become nauseous under the strain of trying to evacuate.
I'm afraid the strain will lead to another heart attack."
Luke brightened at this request, thinking back to his own father
who had problems with impactions.
"Sounds to me like you're having impactions. My father had a
problem with that. If you go to the doctor or to a nurse, the only thing
they can do is pull it out. Sometimes you can do it yourself. In a way,
it's messy and uncomfortable. But the result is instantaneous and
effective. I did it for my father for years. Have you had problems with it
"Yes. In fact, for the last day or so, I haven't had a bowel
movement and my stomach feels nauseous. There's also the gnawing feeling
of having to go. I almost dread going to the toilet anymore."
"Well, Father Abbot, would you like me to give it a try. It's that
or calling in a doctor or nurse each and every time and I know that's not
possible. The initial problem might be your sphincter muscle. You are
probably tensing up and not allowing for the sphincter to relax and
"Would you, Luke? I'm so desperate that it makes me tense and
nervous the entire day," he sighed, a glimpse of tears forming in the
corner of his eyes as he looked desperately toward Luke.
"Let's start by taking all of your clothes off. Initially, I want
you to lie on your side on the bed so I can probe. I'll be very gentle
although there might be a little discomfort."
To prepare the Abbot, he covered the bed with a towel and rubber
sheet and assisted him to lie on his side, close to the edge of the bed.
His own feelings cried out for him, sensing the awkwardness and the pain of
the impaction. At the same time, Luke felt his physical, sexual side take
over. His cock pulsed and ached as he knelt before the Abbot's anus. He
took in the testicles that protruded from between his legs and wished that
he might take them full into his mouth and suck them gently.
"Now, relax, Abbot. I'm going to use lots of Vaseline to ease my
finger and fingers into the anus to probe. You can expect me to gently
massage the anus in order to relax it as well as the sphincter. But I want
to make it easy on you so I'll spend lots of time relaxing that muscle."
"Go ahead, Luke. Do what you have to. I'll be OK."
Luke began with smearing a large quantity of Vaseline on the anus
and the region around it. He gently massaged the outer surface, without
penetrating the anus directly.
"As I do this Father Abbot, concentrate on relaxing the muscles of
He continued the massage. Gradually, after about 5 minutes of
gentle external massage, he felt the anus begin to relax.
"I feel it relaxing now, Father Abbot. Now I'm going to probe
gradually. So expect a little discomfort here. But try not to tighten up.
Feel my finger moving ever so slightly into your anus. I'm going to do
this gradually," he continued.
"What do you feel now, Father Abbot?"
"I'll have to be honest with you. I feel nothing. I'm very
comfortable and relaxed. In fact, I'm embarrassed to say, it feels good."
"I'm going to go deeper now. I'm going to probe to see if I can
feel an impaction. Once we determine that, we can go ahead."
"My finger is almost all the way in. Are you OK?"
"Yes, yes. I still feel no discomfort."
"Good. I'm going in all the way now. Yes, I can feel it. It's an
impaction that's very solid and the reason for your discomfort. Are you
"Yes, I still feel no discomfort except for a little pressure and
the need to urinate."
"That's normal Father Abbot. The need to urinate is caused by the
pressure of the impaction and my finger on your prostate. I've placed
towels and a rubber sheet under you, so if you feel a need to urinate,
don't worry. Go right ahead."
"OK. Now that we've determined the cause, we're going to work on
removing it. This might become a little uncomfortable since I have to go
deeper and form the impaction so that its bulk comes to a point and eases
out. In fact, after I probe some more, it might be easier if you sit on
the toilet and let nature take its course. By that I mean, as you sit and
I form it with my hand in you as you sit, your body will bear down
naturally to expel the blockage. With lots of Vaseline to lubricate, it
should come out easily."
"OK. Go ahead. So far, the ordeal has been non existent."
"One more thing, Father Abbot. Expect some clear fluid to secrete
from the head of your penis. This is simply a reaction of the prostate
from the pressure of the impaction and my fingers. I said fingers. I'm
going to attempt to relax your sphincter even more now but I'll try to be
As Luke gently moved one, then two fingers into the outer opening
of the anus, he noted the Abbot's cock responding. A semi erection was in
evidence. Luke's cock pulsed again and he felt the pressure in his
testicles for closure and felt it move towards an orgasm. The pleasure was
excruciating and he could hardly conceal the joy of the sperm as it shot
into his underwear and pants. Since he was kneeling, it drained down his
thigh to his knee and he could feel the warmth of the hot cum envelope his
knee. He spoke to conceal his ecstasy.
"My movement in and out with two fingers, now, is to relax you
further. I've got to get way in there to form the stool so that it forms a
point and moves easily out of the anal canal. After I probe some more, we
will move to the toilet where I'll continue the process."
"OK. Luke. It's a little uncomfortable but sublimely bearable
knowing the outcome."
Luke continued to probe in and out with two fingers, then three, in
a fucking motion. He was beginning to form the impaction.
"Let's move to the toilet now, Father Abbot. We'll continue to do
the same there. This time, however, bear down as if you're having a normal
bowel movement. I'll help it along and we should get results quickly."
They moved to the toilet. Luke knelt before the Abbot, his left
hand on his bare back, his right hand and fingers between his legs up into
his anus, his head resting on his chest. He continued forming and felt the
Abbot's exertions moving the hard impaction.
"Oh Luke, I feel it moving. What a great feeling! It's almost
like having an orgasm," he groaned.
Luke smiled at the analogy. He wondered what the Abbot might say
if he knew that he had already cum at the expectation of the outcome, and
offered, "Keep pushing. Keep pushing."
With that, the entire impaction dropped into Luke's hand and then
into the toilet. The sense of relief was tangible.
Pulling his hand from the toilet, he gasped, "Sit for awhile and
enjoy the comfort of a normal evacuation. Some more feces will come out
but it will be a feeling bordering on the erotic, now."
Luke moved to the sink to wash his hands, relieved and ecstatic at
the outcome. He felt the cum from his orgasm slide into his sock and shoe
now and hoped none of it showed. The Abbot sat quietly, heaving deep sighs
of relief, steeped in his own thoughts about what had transpired. Luke
wondered what they might be and hoped they would lead to greater intimacy
and, love, a word he had been afraid to utter over these two years. Later,
he reflected over the irony of trying to hide from his proclivities towards
older men by studying for the priesthood, only to be caught up in a brewing
storm of sexuality, the very thing he had been trying to avoid.
As the Abbot sat, Luke drew water for his bath.
"When you're finished, I want you to sit in the tub for a while.
The warm water will act as a sitz bath and help your anal muscles and
sphincter to relax. Then it might do you some good to take a nap."
"Right now, that sounds like a very good idea," embracing him as he
After the bath and the Abbot tucked in for a nap, they quietly
discussed the events of the day.
"A couple of things might help this condition. One, watch your
diet. Try to eat more roughage in the form of fruit and vegetables. Also,
be conscious of drinking more liquids. The other thing, and I know you may
not like this, is that I continue to massage the sphincter on some sort of
a schedule, perhaps two or three times a week to see if we can, over time,
relax and open up the sphincter muscle. That way, over time, evacuation
might be a little easier should the impaction occur again."
"That sounds good to me, Luke. I hate to put you through this
rather untasteful regime. No one likes to be around fecal matter, let
alone touching it. As for the discomfort, I really felt very little. You
were, as you said you would be, very gentle. Foremost, the relief that I
felt more than made up for whatever discomfort there might have been.
Weeks and months passed. Luke received his B. A. in Philosophy and
began his four-year studies in Theology, in preparation for ordination to
the priesthood, the goal he had set out to achieve. Meanwhile, he
continued to suffer from the never-ending desire to sexually love his
Abbot. That thought filled him with guilt, the guilt of desiring a man,
the guilt that derived from masturbation to which he returned as a relief
from his closeness and intimacy with the Abbot. For several years,
particularly after his novitiate, he was able to control his masturbation.
Now, he sought relief in it, which lifted his guilt to new levels of
anxiety and depression. He reflected: if this is happening now, will I be
able to control it in the future? Am I fit for ordination? Will I make a
good priest? Should I withdraw from my pursuit of ordination? These
questions and others continued to surface and he had no one to turn to for
answers. Certainly, not the Abbot! Or should he? Perhaps he would be
open to listening to his problem.
In the end, he came to a conclusion of his own. The Abbot was now
in his late 70's and perhaps, a heart attack would end his problem. He
concluded, too, that nothing sexually had ever happened, thus far.
Therefore, more than likely, nothing will happen. His emotional suffering
was all that bothered him, and, he felt, he could handle that.
As time went on, however, the intimacy between Luke and the Abbot
increased. The finger probing of the Abbot's anus continued as planned.
He noticed, however, other things beginning to occur. For one, the Abbot
began to respond to his probing. Invariably, he would have an erection,
and, more often than not, an orgasm. Luke pretended ignorance and,
apparently, the Abbot feigned indifference to the matter. He also noticed
that the anus responded naturally to his finger insertions. He could
accommodate three fingers, with ease, now. In fact, he commented about
that to the Abbot.
"It looks like the sphincter is now in good shape. So far, you
haven't had any impactions for two years. That's a good sign. But we
should probably continue the massages so as to keep the sphincter relaxed."
In addition, once, after Luke gave the Abbot a haircut, he
proceeded to massage his neck. The Abbot moaned his acceptance."
"That feels wonderful Luke. It's so relaxing."
The neck massages then became a normal routine, even when no
haircuts were given. Luke, aware of his greater emotional involvement,
went further. He suggested a foot massage, and this, too, became part of
the daily routine. Passive acceptance was the term Luke came up with. He
felt sure that the Abbot's dependence on Luke reached a new level, one in
which Luke could do or suggest anything and the Abbot would accede. To
test his theory, one day, after massaging his neck and feet, he proceeded
to undress the Abbot totally, saying, "Today, let's try a complete body
"To what do I owe that?" replied the Abbot.
"It'll make you feel even better and more relaxed."
While all this went on, Luke continued to have erections and
orgasms as he ministered the Abbot. Once, in fact, the Abbot may have
noticed. He commented to Luke, "You look like you've got some water on
your pant leg," referring to one of the involuntary orgasms that occurred
"You're right. I must have wet them while at the sink a while ago,
realizing suddenly that he hadn't been to the sink that day, at all. The
Abbot may have concluded the same and began to say something. Instead, he
simply nodded assent, allowing Luke's excuse to fall unanswered.
The ease with which he undressed the old Abbot amazed Luke. He
concluded, that, indeed, the Abbot was completely open to Luke's
suggestions and manipulation. Luke savored his nakedness. He took in his
gentle, ascetic face, his brow partially trimmed with the gray locks of
hair, the eyes, gentle, almost tearful in response to Luke's care and
giving. A delicate trace of gray accented the nipples of his otherwise
smooth and delicate skin. He followed the outline of gray over the stomach
to his pubic area on which his flaccid 4" cock lay, entwined in a profusion
of gray hair. His legs opened slightly, revealing his relaxed testicles.
In all, Luke stood transfixed at the image spread before him, awaiting his
attention, hopefully, his love, as well.
"Turn over on your stomach, Father Abbot. I'll massage your back
He began his massage at the neck, gently massaging the nape, the
ears, and the temples. He moved to the shoulders, kneading gently in a
circular motion, extending his massage in long strokes down the spine to
the buttocks, stopping short of the anus. His massage moved to the
buttocks, his legs and his feet, his hands sliding gently along the inner
thigh, grazing the warm testicles and cock that offered themselves to
Luke's view. He made sure, when massaging the anus, that his thumbs moved
gently over his anus, parting the cheeks slightly, his thumbs dipping
teasingly into the anal opening, expanding the sphincter, that, at this
stage of development, responded willingly.
He commented, "The sphincter, Father Abbot, seems very relaxed
"Yes, yes, it does, Luke. I've noticed that for some time now."
"Now turn on your back Father Abbot."
He assisted him to the new position by taking him into his arms,
turning him gently onto his back. It was clear that the massage met its
intended purpose for Luke. The Abbot's cock stood partially erect and he
could detect a small drop of precum oozing from the cockhead. It took all
his will power to keep him from bowing and taking his slightly throbbing
cock into his mouth. But he bided his time and continued with the massage,
starting with the face. He gently massaged the eyes, nose, and cheeks,
moving gradually down to the nipples on his chest. His warm hands toyed
with the nipples, noting their hardness and responsiveness to his touch.
As he moved to the Abbot's pubic area, the Abbot spoke.
"Luke, you're sweating. Why don't you take off some of your
clothes, if not all? You'll be more comfortable."
Breathless and speechless at this suggestion as well as from
excitement of the moment, Mark gasped acquiescence and stripped, his 8 inch
cock standing rigid and throbbing, dripping with precum. He wasn't sure if
the Abbot had noticed, but he continued with his massage. But now his eyes
moved to the Abbot's cock, hard and throbbing, almost in beat with his own.
He could bear it no longer. His hot mouth enveloped the Abbot's throbbing
and dripping hot cock and he sucked it deeply and gently, massaging his
testicles and asshole as he did so.
The quiet was broken with a plea from the Abbot, "Take me, Luke.
Luke stepped onto the bed, raised the Abbot's legs high, resting
them on his shoulders and drove his hot, throbbing 8 inches into the
Abbot's welcoming and receptive asshole. His cock slid in easily and he
pumped his hardness deep, at the same time, kissing the soles of his feet,
and, with his right hand, massaging the Abbot's rigid cock that lay before
him. The tension reached a climax and in muted screams, he cried, "Take my
love, Father Abbot."
The violence of the hot spurts of cum filled the Abbot's asshole
and spilled onto the sheets, the Abbot reacting himself to the hard thrusts
of Luke's hot cock, crying out, "Yes, yes, fill me with your hot cum. Take
Hot spurts of cum shot upward onto Luke's stomach and hand as he
continued to stroke the Abbot's pulsing, throbbing cock. He licked it. He
offered some to the Abbot. Withdrawing, he bowed low, keeping the Abbot's
legs raised high and sucked deep with his tongue and mouth, his own hot cum
as it drained from the Abbot's relaxed and open asshole. Returning his
cock to the Abbot's hot asshole, he positioned his body between his legs,
turning him slightly on his side, and kissed him passionately, his eyes,
his nose, his mouth, sinking his tongue deep, tasting the remnants of the
Abbot's cum offered to him earlier from his hand. His cock moved in and
out, gently, slowly, each thrust savoring the sensations of orgasm and the
feeling of warmth and well being that enveloped each.
A half hour passed in silence. Shallow breathing gave evidence of
rest and composure. The Abbot spoke first.
"Luke, you're probably thinking, what next? What happened just now
between the two of us was inevitable. It had to happen; it was going to
happen; I've wanted it and I'm glad it happened. I hope you feel the same.
In fact, I know you feel the same, your actions and love over the last
several years attesting to that fact. I want it to continue and our love
"Father Abbot, those are my sentiments exactly. Besides, our
loving just now lifts a tremendous load from me. Physically, my body cried
out for this over these many years and, unbeknown to you, reacted. I've
lost count of the number of involuntary orgasms I've had from being in such
proximate and loving contact with your body. This last act released all
those tensions in one magnificent orgasm of love. Words cannot describe my
feelings for you and towards you and I hope you'll accept those sentiments
with understanding and love."
"I've sensed all along your affection for me. In fact, I also
sensed the difficulties you might have been having. I'm sorry that it took
so long to come to fruition. But that is all in the past. It's the future
we have to look forward to. We'll now be able to talk about our
relationship more openly."
Quiet again prevailed. They dozed. Three times in the next two
hours, Luke's cock pulsed against the Abbot back. Three times, too, did
the Abbot back his hot and receptive asshole onto Luke's hot cock and feel
the hot spurts of cum lubricate his hole. Each time, the Abbot would turn
and suck the remnant of Luke's hot sperm as his cock emerged from his hot
asshole. Later, just before midnight, Luke slipped into the Abbot's bed
The days and months that followed were blissful for both.
Summertime was the best for Luke. He was free from classes and acted as
the Abbot's chauffeur. This meant days alone with the Abbot in hotels and
motels as his responsibilities took him on many special speaking
assignments throughout the state. It also meant discussions, endless
discussions over the moral meaning of their actions. The Church viewed
these acts as sinful and it worried Luke immensely. The Abbot's view, time
and again, was that, ultimately, it was between the individual and God.
Whatever the Church said about it was for the external forum, a term that
meant it described the official position of the Church. In the internal
forum, as long as Luke or the Abbot for that matter, tried to remain
chaste, and confessed their sins before God, ultimately, it was for God to
Luke came to his own conclusions. In moral theology he learned
that if a penitent comes to confession and confesses to habitual
masturbation, the confessor can tell him to never mention this sin anymore,
as long as he continues to come to the same confessor. The moral reasoning
here was that for a sin to be mortal, that is, a grievous sin that
jeopardized one's salvation, three things must happen simultaneously: there
must be grave matter, sufficient reflection, and full consent of the will.
Obviously, the chronic masturbator lacked either sufficient reflection or
full consent of the will since his sinful act was chronic.
Psychologically, he could not resist the temptation to masturbate. Luke,
on this basis, reasoned that his homosexual bent was not a choice. It had
always been there. He reasoned further that he would never have chosen a
social role that would put him in direct conflict with society. Likewise,
he saw no real difference between the relief of a hand on one's cock,
masturbation, and relief achieved orally or anally. The hand or the mouth
or the asshole was simply the means to an end, the end being orgasm.
His emotions told him, also, that the deep love he felt for the
Abbot, could not be construed as evil. How can loving someone, anyone, be
judged as bad? In the end, he came back to the Abbot's reasoned answer
that it, ultimately, was in God's hands. The discussions helped Luke form
his conscience and, ultimately, allay the guilt that followed him daily in
his pursuit of salvation.
Their love life reached new heights now. Often, when everyone in
the monastery had retired, Luke would slip into the Abbot's suite and they
would lie naked and love for hours. Their lovemaking was tender. Luke
liked to massage the Abbot, relaxing him, at the same time, pleasuring him
and himself with delicate touches on the head of his cock with his mouth
and tongue. Often, when the Abbot's cock stood hard, Luke would rise above
him and sit, inserting his hard cock deep inside and massage his throbbing
cock in a rhythmic and slow motion until the Abbot's hot fluids would rise
in his testicles and spurt deep into Luke's asshole. At other times, at the
moment of ejaculation, he would raise up and catch the sweetness of his
love in his mouth and suck every drop from his hard cock until it lay
flaccid. At these times, too, the Abbot would cry for Luke's fulfillment.
Often, while still in the height of passion, Luke would insert his hot cock
in the Abbot's receptive and puckering asshole and fill it with his hot
cum. At still other times, he would shoot his hot load into the Abbot's
mouth, then lay with him, kissing, exchanging the hot cum between them.
Inevitably, a quiet sleep would ensue, their arms and legs entwined in
loving intimacy. Life was never better for Luke and the Abbot.
All this came to a quick halt just 3 months before Luke's
ordination to the priesthood. The Abbot, while visiting with his two
elderly sisters at their home, experienced a major coronary. He died
within hours. The Abbey and, most especially, Luke were in shock. The
Abbot was deeply loved by all for his kindness and understanding. Luke's
grief was even greater and for weeks he despaired of going on and seriously
considered leaving the seminary and seeking ordination to the priesthood.
Gradually, under advisement of his confessor, Luke finished his studies and
was, ultimately, ordained as a priest and a Benedictine monk.
After ordination, besides teaching at the preparatory school
connected with the monastery, he engaged in parochial duties in the diocese
in which the abbey resided. These duties involved helping out in churches
around the diocese, saying Mass, and hearing confessions. He began to see
another side of his calling through these external contacts. His contacts
with the priests in the monastery also changed. He was no longer Frater
Luke but Father Luke and the beneficiary of new confidences. And because
of his proclivity for older men, he sought the company of the older monks.
A completely different world of sexuality opened for Luke, now.
Father Maurus was one such example. He was an old priest in his
seventies who was in charge of the large farm connected to the Abbey.
Often, in the evening, he would come down to Father Maurus' room at night
and talk. Their discussions took them in all directions, including matters
of sex. Father Maurus admitted to Luke that he often masturbated and
didn't see anything wrong with it. After that, whever they met, they ended
up in bed, naked, massaging each other's cock until orgasm. While he would
allow Luke to suck his cock, he would never reciprocate.
Father Michael was another of Luke's liaisons. One evening, while
talking about things in general in his room, Father Michael, complained of
some muscle aches. Luke offered a massage that Father Michael agreed to.
Luke stripped him naked and was greeted by a hard, throbbing 8-inch cock
Amazed at the 82 year old's virility, he commented, "Looks like
we've got to take care of this first," bending low and taking his throbbing
and dripping shaft deep into his throat. It seemed only seconds later,
Father Michael poured his hot cum into Luke's waiting mouth, gasping, "Oh,
God. Take it Luke. Take that hot cum. Oh God! Oh God! Take it, take
it, taaakkke it all." After that, their encounters were, at least, twice
weekly. And there were many others.
His weekend assignments in the parishes were equally illuminating.
Often, he would arrive on a Saturday and have dinner with the pastor in the
rectory. Always, drinks were a preamble to eating. Inevitably, too, after
dinner drinks were in order. Once, while on call at Father Jim's church,
after many libations, Father Luke went to his room to nap. Minutes into
his nap, Father Jim's warm, naked body sidled in next to Luke. He felt his
hard cock press into the folds of his ass, his cheeks giving way to Father
Jim's pressure. He laid on his back to receive Father Jim's
seventy-year-old cock deep in his hot receptive asshole and pressed back in
synch with Father Jim's hard deep thrusts deep into his asshole. The slow
movement gave way to more passioned thrusts and minutes into their
lovemaking, Father Jim shot his hot load deep into Luke's asshole. Luke's
passion heightened at this explosion and he screamed his hot orgasm into
Father Jim's receiving mouth. Their lovemaking became habitual after that.
Three years after his ordination, Luke fell into a crisis on
conscience. The old gnawing thoughts of sinning reentered his thoughts and
he began, for the first time in his career, to doubt his worth as a priest.
The sexual contacts, both in and out of the monastery, increased but the
intimacy that Luke desired and sought were absent. Most liaisons were
temporary. It seemed that most of the monks and priests he met had come to
some sort of moral accommodation in their acts and sought only temporary
release from their sexual drives.
These doubts coincided with his meeting a retired dentist. Their
friendship began as casual, but, over time, it developed into a more
serious infatuation with one another. The sexual attraction was ever
present in the evolution of this friendship but never overt. But the
intensity grew for each and it became clear to Luke that, if he wanted to
continue this relationship, he would have to confront his status as a
priest. Inevitably, the sexual side emerged. One evening, after spending
most of the day together, they arrived home. Paul suggested that Luke
spend the night at his house. Each knew in his heart the outcome of this
perfect day. No sooner did Paul suggest, did Luke acquiesce. That evening
Paul sat close to Luke on the sofa. Without a word, he laid his head on
his lap and whispered, "Father Luke, I wish this day would never end. I
want to be with you at all times, forever."
That cinched Luke's decision. Though he did not speak of it at
that moment, he knew that he would have to petition the Abbot and the Holy
See for a reduction to the lay state. His thoughts at this moment hadn't
even formulated that request, but, somewhere deep in his inner recesses, he
knew. It took the form of whispered love and a kiss.
"Paul, I want that too. Those are my sentiments, exactly. I never
want for this day to end!"
Luke bowed down and kissed Paul deeply. Their tongues entwined and
tasted their inner passion. Each showered the other with tender kisses
over the eyes, nose, ears, mouth, chin, neck, whispering over and over
again, "I love you. I love you. I love you."
Their loving, interrupted by the several minutes it took them to
undress and fall into bed naked, continued for the entire night and into
the next day.
The next day, Luke resolved to petition for a reduction to the lay
state, a formal procedure known as laicization. Once granted, a priest may
no longer perform the tasks of the priesthood: saying mass, hearing
confession, administering the sacraments, except in emergencies.
Once the decision was made, a tremendous peace fell upon Luke. His
announcement to Paul was met with the same enthusiasm with which Luke
related his decision. Months passed before the laicization was granted.
It was then that Luke and Paul moved to a large metropolitan city in the
east, found an apartment, and lived happily for the next 25 years. Luke
was able to find work teaching in the local school system, and, after
completing his graduate work, accepted a position at the university where
he labored happily until his retirement.