The Best of Both Worlds

I moved to Seattle from New York a few years back. I'm 30 years old, work
for a large national company and I share an apartment with my roommate.

His name is Wayne, he is 22 years old of German descent and originally from
Montana. Wayne served in the armed forces. He is 6'2", 175 lbs with a lean
muscular smooth build and nice broad shoulders. He has thick straight dark
blonde hair which is short on the sides and in back and longer on top with
bangs coming down to the middle of his forehead. He has a 30 inch waist, 42
inch chest and the tiniest tightest butt you've ever seen. He also has a
sexy baritone voice and works as a waiter and also does some part time
modeling on the side. Wayne is straight and comes across as "the boy next
door" to the ladies and always seems to be bring another chick home every
weekend oddly enough no matter how late into the night, Wayne has a bizarre
ritual of working out before having sex he told me he does this because it
really turns these women on and he tends to "perform better". Wayne tends
to go for tall, curvy older (30's) professional women and they seem to go
for him. In fact one thing that Wayne loves to do and it really turns me on
(he doesn't know that I'm bi) is that when he gets out of the shower after
blow drying and gelling his hair, he will walk into the living in his
bikini briefs while I'm sitting on the couch, stick his tight buns in my
face and fart. Wayne usually emits these high piched, loud, trumpeting
squeakers. I discovered from my experiences mostly with roommates from
college that most guys with small firm butts usually have similar sounding
high pitched loud farts. Wayne's farts tend to have an aroma of stale beer
or moldy bread. Anyway, Wayne told me he loves to fart in my face because
it makes him feel superior . Yes, Wayne is better looking than me, has a
better body than me and I also found out that he can kick my butt after
playing "mercy" and wrestling with him. We are actually the same height,
however even though I outweigh him by about 85 lbs he can still "take
me".Although Wayne and I hang out occassionally, we really come from
different social circles.

Over the past 3 months I befriended a new coworker. Actually she is my
superior. Her name is Helene. She is originally from Hartford Connecticut
and got promoted to regional director of human resources Helene is 35 years
old and Jewish. She is 5'9, a big boned but very toned gal with a thin
waist, full round hips and long legs. Helene weighs aproximately 175 lbs.
She is a brunette with short coiffed waivy hair parted on the side and has
small, but mischievious dark green eyes. She has a square shaped face with
a big chin and Mediterranean features. Helene has a melodic but slightly
nasal voice and speaks with perfect diction We became friends because we
are both Jewish and are both from the Northeast however she told me that I
am not her type. She has never been married, has no kids. Helene's one
negative downside is that she has chubby hands and fingers.

Friday after work, Helene and I went out for dinner. I asked her if she
wanted to check out this local dance club. She agreed to do so, however
Helene wanted to go home and change from her business suit and put on her
new "little black dress" she bought recently, I also wanted to change into
more casual clothes and we agreed that she would pick me up at my
apartment. Helene had never been there before. When I got home, Wayne was
there, apparently he had no plans that night since he had an early photo
shoot the next morning. I asked Wayne if he wanted to go out with us and he
agreed. Wayne was wearing a pair of faded tight blue jeans, boots and a
white tank top which complimented his broad shoulders and muscular
biceps. Helene arrived at around 10pm looking stunning in her black dress
which also form fitted her body showing off those voluptuous curves.

Helene took one look at Wayne after I introduced them, she then took me
aside and said, "he better be coming with us, he's gorgeous!" Helene and I
have been candid in our conversations and she admitted she is attracted to
tall, slender, younger guys and hasn't had sex in 3 months. She told me
since she lost her virginity at 17, she has never gone more than three
weeks without sex. She also told me that she loves the military position so
she can watch her man's buns "in action" obviously Wayne was going to be no
exception. Helene suggested I drive, she got into my front passenger seat
and Wayne sat in the back. We all basically engaged in small talk on the
way to the club. When we got to the club, Helene bought Wayne a couple of
beers and Helene ordered a cosmopolitan for herself. At the bar, Helene
asked Wayne if he wanted to dance. They both heated up the dance floor with
every sexy move you could imagine. We closed down the place and left at
2am. Wayne got into the back seat of my car and then Helene jumped in the
back too, I asked her why, and she replied sarcastically, "only the
beautiful people get to sit in back". I could hear Helene talking softly to
Wayne I could see in my rear view mirror that she was massaging Wayne's
shoulders, I turned my head back to the road and could now hear kissing
noises I looked back and I could see them "going at it" in the back seat of
my car.

After a short car ride we arrived back at the apartment. Wayne and Helene
entered the living room. They were both embracing, Helene looking up at
Wayne gazing with admiration into his eyes and told him how much she
admired his big strong arms and broad shoulders. Automatically right in
front of me she let down her dress to reveal incredibly sexy black silk bra
and french cut panties with fish net stocking and garters. She rips off
Wayne's white tank top and starts massaging his Six Pack with the palms of
her chubby hands. At this point i decided it was a good idea to go into my
bedroom. about 30 seconds later I heard Helene tell Wayne she would be
right back. Wayne said he was going to go into his bed room and work out. I
could hear Wayne enter his room and he put some work out music on (usually
some form of nu-metal) I then heard a knock on my bedroom door, I opened
the door and it was Helene, still in her silk bra and panties. She said
"you really have to do me a favor". I replied "what?, it appears that you
owe me a favor if anything", she said "I know, we'll talk about that" she
then replied "I really have to fart, I always get this nervous gas right
before I sleep with a guy and I don't want him to hear me, so do you mind
if I fart in your bedroom?" I was thinking to myself....hmmm, this could be
a dream come true. I said to Helene, "I'll tell you what, I'll let you fart
in my room only unless you fart in my face" Helene replied "what???? are
you joking that's disgusting!!" I said "no, this has actually been a
fantasy of mine" Helene replied, "ok, whatever, just as long as I can keep
my underwear on" I said, "no problem, that's the way I wanted it" Helene
asked me how we were were going to do this, I told her she would stand up
and I would kneel down and she would stick her round shapely ass in my
face. I could feel the silky panties and soft firmness of Helene's ass
caressing my face. I could feel her ass tense and suddenly felt a warm
gentle breeze brush up against my face with three short "pffft" sounds,
like a tire deflating and I could sense the immediate odor of sour cream or
sour milk wafting through the air. The aroma was tantilating. Helene
replied "so, how did you like that?". I told Helene that I thought she was
holding back, Helene said she did not want Wayne to hear her fart. I told
Helene that Wayne was in the other room, had music on and was working out,
there was no way he could her. Helene then let out 2 long basso profondo
resonant rumbling farts, the continuous sour cream aroma permeated my
bedroom, I told Helene that she is a goddess, she replied, " I hope Wayne
thinks so, I really need to get laid and he is so beautiful, those buns,
those shoulders, that head of hair, and a model to boot", she licked her
lips and said " I better go".

I heard Helene knock on Wayne's door. Since Wayne's room was next to mine,
I could hear his head board banging against the wall all night along with
Helene's moans and squeals of delight. Wayne must have been pounding her so
hard, I thought his bead was going to go right through the wall. All I
could hear was Helene shouting "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, over and
over and over again, at one time I could have sworn she was speaking in
tongues, well I guess that's what three months without sex does, and I'm
lucky if I've had sex three times in my life, each time with three
different big fat chicks in their 50's.

Finally at around 6am, the escapade ended. At 8am I woke up to get a drink
of water. Wayne's bedroom door was open and I could see both Wayne and
Helen blissfully sleeping with Helene curled up against Wayne's chest. I
was thinking "well it looks like Wayne is missing his photo shoot" I
finally woke up at 10:30 am, Helene had already left, she had to go into
the office that morning (the life of an important executive). Wayne woke
around the same time. Wearing his navy blue bikini briefs he ripped open a
can of beer and chugged it down. I asked Wayne about all the details and he
replied that Helen literally fucked him in half. He showed me the scratches
on his toned back and also the gouge marks on his butt cheeks from Helene's
finger nails. He told me that it felt really nice to be inside Helene's
pussy, that she had a neatly trimmed black bush that was just glistening
with her feminine juices. Wayne then said " and she even gave me the most
incredible rim job, I didn't know that Jewish Chicks do that" I was
surpised, I said "you mean she stuck her tongue up your ass" He replied,
"yeah, don't all chicks do that?, I've never been with a chick that
didn't. Wayne then stuck his butt in my face and let out trumpeting beer
stinking ripper.

Anyway, the sex sessions became a weekly ritual, however it appears that
Helene and I were growing apart even at work, our few conversations were
distant. It came to the point that she would knock on my apartment door,
not even say hello and go directly to Wayne's bedroom. I didn't even know
what conversations she was having with Wayne until one day, before a
weekend afternoon romp in the hay, both Wayne and Helene entered the living
room while I was watching TV. Wayne was wearing his forest green bikini
briefs and Helene was in her silk lavender bra and panties. They started to
embrace and make out a little, they actually looked very symmetrical
together. They're both tall, attractive. Sean's broader chest and
shoulders, Helene's wider hips and thighs compliment eachother. They just
look good together. I'm trying to figure out what's going one. After their
short make out show, Wayne walks over to my left and Helene goes to my
right. Wayne turns his back to me, sticks his tiny heiny in my face and
lets out a long squeaker. Helene then turns her back to me sticks her
shapely voluptuous derriere in my face and lets out a deep resonant rumble
lasting 5 seconds. The smell of stale beer and sour cream together.
Masculine and femine farts intertwining in harmony. Then both replied
simultaneously "there you have it the best of both worlds".