The Pursuit of Happiness

Chapter One: The Visit.

The cars entering the gate were slow as the guards were
meticulous about everybody having a pass. I was late for the
third time this week and was annoyed at every thing, the
stupid woman doing 30 miles an hour in a 50 zone, the road
work traffic lights that blocked a perfectly good piece of
road. Even the sub-contractor holding everybody at the gate
because he didn't have a pass. I moaned "8 o'clock and I'm 5
minutes late .. Come on"

The guard finally got enough identification and opened
the barriers. Friday didn't look good, it was going to be
one of those days.

British Aerospace isn't that bad a firm to work for.
The money isn't good - it isn't all that bad though. The
work, as a Design Engineer on the aircraft, is varied -
handling all the problems the shopfloor has, keeps you on
your toes and that is part of the job satisfaction.

"Good afternoon!" said John in that slightly loud voice
just to get every ones attention. I quickly scanned the
office - the boss wasn't in the office I might have just
made it.

John continued as he watched me scan the office "It's
OK, he had to go to a meeting at quarter to. Dave says that
your going to have to take over in the managers meeting at
10."

"Not again - I got chewed out last week for him. Did he
leave me any notes on what to expect?"

"No and don't ask me where he went 'cause he didn't
tell me."

Geoff, the draughtsman walked in the door and turned
the kettle on. I heard the click and said "Morning Geoff, is
there enough for two in that? I really could do with a
coffee."

Geoff said "Just about - Another bad night?"

"Hell no, I finally won at squash and the celebration
got a bit out of hand." Geoff and John laughed.

Whilst Geoff asked "How many years have you tried to
beat Dave?" the phone started to ring.

"Off and on for fifteen years - he's always changed the
sport just as I get up to his level. In physical things he
wipes the floor with me, he won't even attempt mental
competition."

I answered the phone. "Design Liaison"

-- "Is Dave Coulson there"

"No, I'm sorry he's in a meeting"

-- "This is Reception, he has a visitor from Stockport
College"

"OK, I'll come and pick him up."

-- "Thanks"

I hung up and told them I had to go to Reception and
not to let anybody use that hot water.

Walking across the shopfloor I wondered why someone
from the college wanted Dave. The department is a little too
technical for the mainstream of students, supervision is
almost non-existent and 18 year olds generally get bored if
they're placed with us.

As I entered Reception, there was only one person
waiting, a stocky middle aged man with receding hair. I
remembered him from my college days Mr Fuller, The physics
professor. I walked up and tried to introduce myself.

"Hello, my name is"

"Tim Preston, I remember you - you never worked, it was
too easy for you."

He shook my hand.

"Mr. Fuller, I wouldn't say too easy, I just read
everything I could lay my hands on and it kind of stuck."

"Is Dave Coulson around?"

"I'm sorry but Dave is unavailable for the moment - is
there any thing I can do?"

"I have a bit of a sticky problem, I'm hoping you can
help with it." The way he emphasised 'you' definitely meant
me not the company.

"If you'll follow me, I'll take us somewhere we can
talk." He picked up his briefcase and followed. I returned
with him back to my area discussing light topics such as the
weather and the traffic. I took him into Dave's office and
asked Geoff if he would be good enough to make us coffee. As
per usual the back chat and moans weren't evident as we had
an outside visitor.

I started the conversation around to his visit by
asking how I could help. He looked a bit nervous and then
firmed up.

"Normally we don't place students in particular
departments, we usually let the company decide where they
should go but in this particular case I'm hoping that you'll
take on a student of ours directly."

This peeked my curiosity. "We normally don't handle
students in Design liaison, the type of work is technically
demanding and urgent. Short stay students get bored when we
don't have the time to teach them what we're doing."

"This wouldn't necessarily be a short stay student.
Each year of the degree the students have to work six weeks
in the industry. Unfortunately this student hasn't served
his term in any company during his degree and as this is his
last year he needs 24 weeks."

"24 weeks, how come he hasn't been placed before?"

"Oh, He has, that is part of the problem." He looked
directly into my eyes to gauge my reaction. "He was badly
beaten up in his first week last year, before that he was
sent back to us on the first day each time."

Stunned I stammered "W-what! Why?"

"He's gay - openly gay. You know what it's like in
small businesses around here. Even the other students in his
class beat him up first year."

"Why come to me?"

"Do you remember a student, Tony Morgan, from last
year?" Mr Fuller continued as the image of a small, shy and
subdued dark haired lad popped into my mind. "He told me how
you had counselled him after he'd come in suicidal one
morning"

I remembered the day, it wasn't a day I was likely to
forget. Tony had arrived crying his eyes out. He told us he
was gay and his lover had killed himself that morning with
an overdose. It had taken us two to three weeks to slowly
start straightening his life out. In fact he'd moved in with
my wife and me for a week or so because he wouldn't go back
to 'their flat'.

There wasn't any sex - I'm not gay but I understand.

Thinking back on that terrible time, I hadn't noticed
that Mr Fuller was silent and watching me very carefully.
Geoff interrupted at that point with coffee and we chatted
about trivial things whilst my mind was in turmoil.

"I can't make the decision for us, Dave will have to do
that, I'll need his say so but I also need to talk to this
student. Our department may not hate gays but that isn't
true for the whole factory. Tony didn't attract attention
except for that week and we managed to cover it. If this
student is effeminate or tries it on with people on the
shopfloor it could end up with him getting beaten up again."

Mr Fuller looked as if the weight of the world had been
taken off his shoulders. "I'd recommend that you come to the
college and talk to him there - how about this morning?"

"Let me see if I can get hold of Dave first." I picked
up the phone and dialled for his bleeper, about thirty
seconds later the phone rang.

"Dave, Tim here, have you got 5 minutes .... OK! Where
are you .... I'll be bringing a visitor .... I'll tell you
when I get there .... ", I laughed. "Yes it is important
.... OK bye."

I stood up and said "Mr fuller, he's in the Customer
Centre - If you'd follow me." We both walked out of the
office and back on to the shopfloor. We turned left and
walked along one of the walkways.

"Call me Steve you aren't at college anymore."

Mr Fuller, I just couldn't call him Steve - six years
of college had driven that in, remarked on the cleanliness
of the place and how much it had changed since his last
visit. I told him about how the management wanted the
shopfloor to be a showroom and how we even had to wear
uniforms. He laughed when I told him about how they'd
started by painting one section of the floor light blue and
the night shift had had some fun. "We came in the next
morning and the painted bay had got a sharks fin standing up
in the centre and a cardboard pier & deck chair had been
placed by the side of it."

We entered the Customer Centre and pulled my boss from
his meeting. I managed to get a room and we discussed the
situation. Dave said that he'd back me up which ever way I
decided as I'd be the person the student would be placed
with. ( typical manager - delegate the decision ). I told
Dave that I'd back out of the 10 o'clock meeting as best I
could and go visit the college.

I took Mr Fuller back to Reception and arranged to meet
him at 11:00 at the college engineering block.

----------------------------------------

Parking my car in the college car park brought back so
many memories of my teenage years. I gripped the brass pull
handle of the door looking for my scrawled initials in the
wood. Worn and faded with some new graffiti over the top,
but they were still there.

At 10:55 I was shown into Mr Fuller's office. A fifteen
foot square cubby-hole with one desk, 2 chairs and filled
with stacks of books and papers absolutely everywhere - it
hadn't changed in 12 years. Mr Fuller told me that he had
arranged for the student to arrive in ten minutes and did I
want to talk to him alone. I suggested that it would be for
the best that way as the conversation may get a little
personal. He agreed and left saying he'd be back in an hour.
I took off my coat, hung it on the back of his chair and sat
down and started to read a newspaper that had been placed on
one of the stacks of books. Yesterdays edition, but I rarely
get time to read them so I scanned the paper for something
interesting.

At quarter past, the student arrived a little out of
breath. The first thing I noticed about him was his hair,
fine and flame red with a fringe over pale skin with a light
dusting of freckles across his nose. He was about 5'10"
maybe 6', slim with a narrow waist and broad shoulders. He
was dressed in a black T-shirt with AC/DC written across it
and faded jeans.

He said "Oh, Hi. Is Mr Fuller about? He asked me to
come down and I'm a bit late."

I walked around the desk and introduced myself. "Hi. My
name is Tim Preston and it's me you're here to see." He
stared at me puzzled and I could see his eyes - dark green,
they flickered quickly from side to side as if he couldn't
decide which eye to look into.

"Uh? Well then, hello my name is Graham Douglas Bennett
but I prefer to be called Doug or Douglas." We shook hands
and I moved the chair from around the desk and asked him to
sit down in the other one.

I asked him if he knew why I wanted to see him. He said
no. Thanks Mr Fuller - now I knew why he was in such a hurry
to leave. OK, well we have to start some where.

"Look Doug, This may not come out quite right but
please don't take any offence. I work as a design liaison
engineer at British Aerospace and I've specifically been
asked if I would give you 24 weeks of industry training
before the end of your degree course."

His eyes had gone flinty and silted, he interrupted and
his voice held a tone I placed immediately.

"Oh! I see and you don't want a gay person in your
office - I get it, this is the sorry old man, but I can't
take you routine."

This wasn't going to work this way. I grabbed my coat.
"Come on, we're going to the Nelson for a drink, I haven't
made my mind up yet but if you carry on like that, it
probably will be."

I strode out trying to cool my anger, I'm quick to heat
up but fast at forgiving and forgetting. Dave and I often
argue about how the department should run. The arguments
often flair up and die down within minutes and as Dave and I
don't hold grudges it seems to work. We've been friends for
nearly twenty years, since we were both in the apprentice
training school together. Even last night during the
celebration of my victory we had argued - about who was
going to win the Superbowl.

I was hardly out of the building when he ran up and
started walking beside me. He was apologetic "I'm sorry I
shot off, I shouldn't have and I apologise." We continued to
the local pub in silence and when we got there I went to the
bar and asked for a Southern Comfort and ginger. He asked
for a cider and after paying I went and sat down at the
empty corner seat that used to be my usual seat in days long
ago. He joined me about 30 seconds later and sat opposite
me.

"Doug, I have no problem with you being gay, nor will
anybody else in the office, it's just that..." I faltered,
looked down trying to collect my thoughts. "It's just that
we aren't gay and as you've already found out there are a
lot of people who hate gays and anything to do with gays."

He calmly interrupted me by saying "They're called
homophobics, although I would prefer to use a less technical
term for some of them." I smiled and so did Doug, his face
lost all its angles and broke out with one of those grins
that covers the face.

I regained my confidence that he could handle this.
"I'm here to see how you would fit in. Twenty four weeks is
a long time and I've not only got to consider your degree,
but the department." I sipped some of my drink and carried
on. "My department handles all of the shopfloor problems
from anything like sequence of build, work instructions,
programme planning to repairs and quality issues. This means
that all day we have visitors from all over the factory
coming in and asking for advice, paperwork, schedules and
all sorts."

I broke off for another sip. "It sometimes feels as if
all 1800 workers have been in our office at some time of the
day. The majority would have difficulty in dealing with
someone who is gay, if they knew. I want to find out if your
too openly gay or whether you could, not necessarily hide
it, just not let it interfere with normal everyday work."

Doug considered this for a little time and I excused
myself to go back to the bar for a cola. When I got back to
the table, he seemed to have come to a decision and started
to talk about himself. He told me about his mother and
father not wanting him at birth and how he'd been put up for
adoption and the children's home where he grew up.

I tried to tell him that he didn't need to tell me
these things but he said that I needed to know him, to
understand how he would react in differing circumstances. He
really wanted his degree, but 24 weeks would show him as he
really is.

The pub had started to fill up with people coming out
for lunch and so I decided that we should leave, it was
becoming too crowded for this kind of conversation. We got
up and as we were leaving a young lad walking in said "Look
there is G.Douglas Queer and his boyfriend". Behind him was
Tony Morgan who laughed. Doug had murder in his eyes but I
grabbed him and shoved him out of the door before anything
could happen.

Once back on the street I told him to relax and forget
it. We walked back to the college and I dropped into Mr
Fuller's office.

He asked me "Is everything hunky-dory?"

"The jury is still out, can I borrow your phone?"

"Of course you can." He picked up the phone, dialled
for an outside line and handed it to me.

I rang up Dave but he was out and Geoff answered, I
told him to tell Dave that I wouldn't be in for the rest of
the day as I was still at the college. He was puzzled by
where I was but didn't push it. I hung up.

"I'm going to take Doug somewhere we can talk more
confidentially."

"Oh right - Tell me how you decide."

I went back out and asked Doug if he wanted to go to my
house to continue he said yes and we went and got into my
car.

----------------------------------------

My wife was still working and wouldn't be back for a
couple of hours. We had the house to ourselves. I parked in
the drive, took him inside and offered him a cup of tea or
coffee, he chose tea. Whilst the kettle was boiling he
leaned against the kitchen door frame and watched me as I
made the drinks.

We went into the lounge and sat down. He asked if I was
into computers as he had spotted the PC in the corner and
went to have a look at it. The cover was perspex showing all
the boards and leads. He knelt down and examined it closely.
He started to ask questions about some of the expansion
boards as they didn't look quite right and I told him that
electronics was my hobby and that I had made the PC from
scratch. He said that electronics was his interest as well.

I knew that I should control myself, if we got to
talking about
electronics then we'd be there till midnight and we
weren't here for that. I killed the conversation by asking
if he was ready to talk about our situation.

His face lost it's animated look for a short while. But
he sat down on the sofa and he started to talk.

He told me how he'd been so lonely at the children's
home because he'd been born just before the last baby boom
and the number of adoption places had dropped dramatically.
When the demand for adoptions increased they all went for
the younger children. He said that night time was the worst
because they were always short staffed and run off their
feet so it was all very militarised. Processions of children
washing and cleaning their teeth, marched to their bedrooms
and locked in. At sixteen he'd been given one room in a
hostel that handled drunks, addicts and people off the
streets. He wasn't ready for the violence and abuse he'd
received and he'd been raped or forced into sucking somebody
off practically every night until he ran away 2 months
later.

Over half of the tale had been told with tears running
down Doug's face and the emotional outpouring wrung my
heart. I walked over to the sofa and hugged him. Rocking him
backwards and forwards slowly as he continued with his tale.

He had been on the streets for two or three weeks when
the pimps had approached him to be a 'rent boy' but he'd
avoided them. His sole pleasure was in reading, he spent a
lot of time at the local library and the staff had looked
after him by providing meals and cups of tea during the day.

It was here that he had met Rodger one of the library
clerks who had taken pity on him and had let him stay at his
flat when the weather turned cold. Rodger helped him get a
job at a local printers and the money helped start him up.
Doug had never had so much attention and compassion that he
had mistaken infatuation for love and had responded to
Rodger with the only form of giving pleasure that he knew.
Rodger had violently rebuffed him and kicked him out of his
flat. Rodger must have told the staff at the library,
because the police always came to move him on when ever he'd
gone in afterwards.

He had finally admitted to himself that he was gay when
he'd been picked up by a woman and after admitting he was
virgin, he just couldn't get aroused. The woman had laughed
at him and told him that if he couldn't get it up he
shouldn't bother with women again." A limp prick is useless
to neither woman nor beast"

That was just over 4 years ago. Since then he'd decided
that engineering was where he was skilled at and that he
would get himself a decent job and not be beholden to the
State, Council or anybody. He'd been fairly celibate since
then too shy and afraid to open up to anyone else.

He continued sobbing until the outpouring got to him
and he slowly fell asleep. I didn't want to move and disturb
him so I remained on the sofa, holding him. Disturbed by the
story sleep came very slowly.

Joanne, my wife found us like that. The best thing in
my life, Joanne was understanding and compassionate. We'd
tried to have kids but it hadn't happened, yet after 12
years of trying her mothering instincts were honed to
incredible levels. She made the evening meal quietly, trying
not to wake us up.

It was the smell of freshly made chicken soup that woke
me up, Doug was lying half on me with one arm draped over my
chest, his head resting on my shoulder. Joanne walked into
the room and saw my eyes were open. She walked over and
lightly kissed me on the lips and whispered "Another one
like Tony?"

I nodded and she whispered back "Why do they all have
to be cute and beautiful?" It hadn't occurred to me until
then but she was right. Doug looked innocent like an angel,
The sleeping face had none of the lines or looks of concern
that it had whilst he was awake. She whispered that dinner
would be about half an hour and she was going to get the
spare room habitable.

After dozing for a few minutes I started to lightly
blow at Doug's head ruffling his red hair. He snuggled a bit
but I kept on blowing. Joanne came down the stairs and
stopped at the bottom watching as I tried to gently wake
Doug up. I started to blow on his face, moving the point of
contact causing little subtle movements in his face. He
snuggled closer to me with his face turned up to mine. I
increased the force and his eyes started to flicker and move
behind his eyelids then they opened and he saw me with
pursed lips and responded immediately closing the distance
he locked his lips onto mine and started to kiss me. I froze
and he shot off me like a scolded cat.

"Tim, I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that, I didn't
realise what I was doing, please forgive me."

I was blushing all shades of red and a tinkling little
laugh came from the bottom of the stairs. Doug turned around
quickly, and on seeing Joanne, blushed furiously as well.

"Doug meet Joanne, my wife."

Doug groaned and started to apologise to Joanne who
laughed it off and said it had been quite funny and she
didn't mind as Tony had done the same thing.

"Tony?" Doug asked, but only got an answer of ask me
about him.

What a pickle I was in. Without mentioning anything I
thought might give away who Tony was I told the story about
the suicide and how a college student from a few years back
needed help, OK so I stretched the truth.

From the kitchen came a shout "Dinner will be ready in
a couple of minutes, Doug I hope you like pork chops."

Doug didn't know where to turn, caught like a fly in
honey - sweet to the taste but maybe a little more than he
could handle. I saw the thoughts as they ran across his
face, I smiled "Don't worry Doug, There's no problem if you
really want me to take you home now, I will do, but after
dinner would be better, I'm starving!"

He decided to stay and went to the kitchen thanking
Joanne for considering him as a dinner guest. We sat down as
the clock struck seven and proceeded to have a really nice
meal. The conversation got stuck into electronics fairly
early on and Joanne surprised him by not only keeping up
with us but pushing him to think before he answered some
technical questions. I told Doug "Joanne works at UMIST, the
local University in the electronics lab and passed me long
ago. I only have a BSc Degree in electrical engineering,
Joanne has a full doctorate."

We continued to chat after we had moved back into the
lounge but I was now showing him the PC and what we had
done, He was really intrigued by some of the circuits we had
put into it but I noticed that as time went on he started to
keep checking the time on the clock on the mantelpiece. I
asked him what the problem was and he said he had to be back
at the YMCA before 10 or he would lose his room for the
weekend, but that I shouldn't worry as there was still half
an hour to go. I then told him that the lounge clock was
keeping time with London University's atomic clock and was
set to GMT, as it was summer it was 1 hour behind. It was
really 10:30, Doug got into a panic and I told him to calm
down as we had a spare room he could borrow. He settled down
nervously but as he got more resigned to the fact that he
couldn't get his room he took a more active role in the
conversation.

By 10:30 on the clock we all had started to yawn,
Joanne would start it and Doug and myself would catch it. As
Joanne had to be at a special review of the new interns at a
meeting of department heads at 9:00, we decided to call it
quits and go to bed.

Doug said goodnight as we left him on the landing and
we retired to bed. The only sounds being that of the showers
running and the toilets flushing as everyone readied
themselves for bed. Half an hour later the lights were off
and we settled down to sleep. Joanne asked me what had
happened this time and I told her along with a quick summary
of his life. She thought it was sad but glad that I seemed
able to comfort him. We both cuddled and I fell asleep.

I awoke to a poke in the ribs. Coming to I heard the
sound of crying and Joanne was looking at me. "He's been
crying for 20 minutes. I think he needs you to comfort him."
I looked at the alarm clock 1:45. I got up and quickly put a
robe on as the heating had kicked off over 2 hours ago and
with our window open it was getting quite chilly on bare
skin.

I crossed the landing and knocked lightly on Doug's
door. No response just a quiet sobbing. I carefully opened
the door. A crack of dim light glowed around the door, the
bedside table light was on, and there he was crying into his
pillow. I moved over to the double bed and slowly lowered my
weight on to it, moving cautiously I approached him and
started to lightly trail my fingers through his hair. Doug
turned to face me and grabbed hold of me around my waist and
pulled himself until he was sobbing into abdomen. I softly
stroked his head, neck and shoulders until he quietened. He
seemed to be dropping off to sleep so I moved his arms to
release me. But his eyes opened and he begged me "Please
hold me". I tried reasoning with him that I couldn't get to
sleep like this and he pulled back the duvet and again
begged me to stay.

I took off my robe and climbed into the bed justifying
it internally by thinking that it would only be for a few
minutes.

Doug rolled towards me and rested his head on my
shoulder and hugged me close. Contented at last, his
breathing started to slow and deepen. I initially stayed
awake because as soon as he was properly asleep I was going
to go back to my own bed. But 15 minutes had passed and I
still hadn't moved. I looked down at his angelic face. The
small cluster of freckles over his nose was cute in a sort
of childlike way, his skin was pale almost translucent and
seemed to have no imperfections except for the freckles and
they were more like an accent. His chin had that little
vertical cleft in the centre. The lips were a pale ruby
colour and I was close enough that I could see each
individual pale hair growing on his face, he was shaving but
not frequently.

Don't ask me why, I don't know but it seemed right at
the time. I lowered my lips and started to kiss his
forehead, no more than a grazing touch.

He snuggled closer leaning his head further back, now
it was his face that was turned towards me. I lightly kissed
his forehead and eyelids. His upturned nose wrinkled a
little and he tightened his hug. His arm over my chest moved
lower and pulled me into the hug. He was truly beautiful
resting there and I felt affection. He moved his leg so that
he was no longer on his side but was resting half on me, his
leg bent over my thighs.

My arm was under his neck and that dead feeling in the
fingers was starting. I moved my arm to retain the
circulation and stroked his top shoulder and back. A well
known feeling started in my groin and I paused stroking him.
Concerned with myself, I was getting aroused and it didn't
seem right that I should. I've never been attracted to men,
why was I getting aroused? Unsure of myself I moved trying
to extricate myself from Doug's embrace and he tightened his
grip and pushed his face into my neck nuzzling me - was he
still asleep God I hoped so.

My dick was now reaching its full height and no
thoughts of mine were affecting it at all. What was
happening to me? Why was it happening to me? I felt
compassionate affection towards Doug - nothing else, or was
there...? My mind was going in to a spin and if I didn't
stop it soon, panic was going to set in. I remembered my
adolescence and the confusion that was there. How at 12, my
friend Andy and myself had investigated each others body.
Nothing sexual had happened we were just kids trying to find
out information about ourselves that nobody else would to
tell us.

It's rather funny that as parents we try to keep our
children innocent by not telling them anything, forgetting
the frustration and fear that we all went through when our
parents wouldn't tell us anything either.

My mind was settling, the memories of childhood calming
me and opening me up to these feelings.

Doug moved - did I feel a kiss - or was he just moving.
I resumed stroking hoping to push him into deeper sleep so
that I could escape. My boxer shorts were straining and I
was uncomfortable. I used my free arm to release the
constriction. I moved my dick vertical but I touched Doug's
arm and he moved again his hand now resting over a nipple.
It was hardening. This was getting frustrating and weird.
Did I really want Doug to do something? I knew what gay sex
was in a objective way, Tony had been fairly explicit. Was
that what was getting to me?

There was another side to this did Doug want me, 12
years older than him and not really attractive. I had pulled
Joanne not with looks but with my mind and heart. We were
companions at first, love built up over time.

Doug moved and his hand started to lightly tease my
nipple, he kissed my neck. Well that was another question
answered. Did I want to go through this?

A shock wave rocked through my body as Doug turned my
hard nipple. Yes! I wanted this.

I whispered "Doug". He instantly stopped and moved his
hand away. "Doug - are you trying to turn me on - because
it's working"

"Tim, I really - like - you. You're so gentle and
caring that I want to make you happy, like you've made me."

"Let me up, I need to talk to Joanne."

He moved to the other side of the bed facing away and
said "I'm sorry Tim, I understand."

I got up and walked into my bedroom.

The light was on and Joanne was awake "I thought you
weren't coming back"

"Something's come up, I need to talk to you." She
looked at my boxers and laughed.

I closed the door and walked over to the bed and sat
down beside her. Joanne was my conscience and my confidante,
there wasn't anything she didn't know about me, and I think
it's true the other way around.

"Well if any man was going to get to you it was him.
Red hair was always your weakness."

I stroked her auburn hair and asked "What should I do ?
I want to try it but ...." my objectivity collapsed under
the emotions I was feeling "Joanne, I don't want to hurt
you, I love you so much that I'd die if you were to leave
me, I can't even contemplate that. You're my heart and soul
- I couldn't handle the guilt and pain of hurting you in any
way." Tears in my eyes I looked down at her and she pulled
me down for a kiss.

"Tim, I understand and that is why I love you so much.
Your heart is large enough to take the world in. Your
understanding was what I needed when you found out about
Jenny and you gave me that but also unconditional love to
both of us. No recriminations just love!. Can I do anything
else, It would hurt you if I said no and I couldn't bear
that." She kissed me again, and wiped the tears from my
face. "Go with my love, find out about yourself." I kissed
her again. "Are you sure? I don't know what I'm letting us
in for."

She smiled, thinking for a few seconds "I do - go and
care for him, he needs you." She kissed me and pushed me off
the bed "Go."

I looked back down at her and darted down for a kiss.
"I love you."

I straightened and walked back onto the landing. As I
closed the bedroom door the light went out.

I re-entered Doug's room and moved onto the bed. He
turned over with red, tear brimming, eyes and a surprised
look. He started to speak quietly but I silenced him with a
finger to his lips. I pulled him into an embrace and slowly
lowered my face to his. The kiss wasn't exactly what I
expected, the lips felt the same as a Joanne's. When I felt
his tongue at my lips I parted mine and the kiss became
unlike any I had had before. There was a force on both sides
trying to weld us together. Our tongues fighting a battle
and both drawing. We broke apart and looked at each other
again.

"Are you sure, Tim. I wouldn't want to hurt you - or
Joanne."

I didn't respond but I put one hand behind his neck and
the other in his hair and pulled him in for another kiss.
This was getting better as we both took part and the kiss
became more passionate. Doug climbed on top of me and hugged
me tighter. When breathing became a necessity I pulled away
and said "God! - your turning me on something wicked."

He smiled and smoothed the dark hairs on my chest and
kissed my neck, my earlobe, the top of my shoulder, my
throat. I moaned and swallowed.

Doug propped himself up on his elbows and said "Stay
there, don't move a muscle." He got up and walked to the
base of the bed and pulled the duvet off. Then he took off
his white underpants, watching my eyes.

As he stood there I watched him. Pale skin no tan lines
anywhere to mar his perfection and his dick hard up against
his belly touching the top of his navel. Red hair around his
groin and climbing up above his waist.

I started to rise and he came around to my side and
pushed me back down "No don't move, let me love you". He
knelt on the bed and I moved to the centre. He straddled my
thighs and started to rub his hands across my chest. he
leaned over and kissed my neck and my ear and licked his way
around the base of my neck. I groaned - it felt incredible.
Twirling his tongue around in my chest hair he started to
follow my muscle lines to the either side. His hair touching
and trailing along my chest. The heat of his tongue and the
cooling of his saliva evaporating was driving me nuts. He
lifted off me and then dived down flicking one nipple and
then the other, then nibbling them gently. I groaned and
arched involuntarily, electricity flowing through me. I
could feel his hot poker of meat against mine, could I be
turned on any more? I could not stay idle, just taking this
and giving nothing. I tried to stroke his arms and shoulders
but he took my arms off him and begged "Let me love you
first .. please" I lowered my arms to my side. He moved down
and started licking again just above my navel. The feelings
were unbelievable my breathing was getting heavy, my hands
gripping the bottom sheet. His lips attached themselves to
my navel and his tongue dived in twirling and probing.

I groaned and felt his tongue climb out of my navel and
move lower. He got to the waistband of my boxers and then
repositioned himself to start at my feet.

My breathing relaxed slightly in the pause, the sight
of him over my legs was turning me on more and more. He
lowered his face to my left foot and sucked my big toe in to
his mouth then the next and down to the little toe. Never
part of my lovemaking before this, it was going to be part
of it from now on - wow!. He moved on to the top of my foot
and played with the hairs there a few seconds and then
repeated it with my right foot. Moving up he started to lick
my calves on the outside up to the knee and back down on the
inside. He lifted one leg up and traced the enlarged muscle
and sucked on the back of my knee. Hot and cold flashes
raced across my body, whilst he licked his way closer to my
groin on the underside of my thigh. I was getting close a
tingling was starting in my balls. I moaned as he repeated
the tongue work on the other leg.

"Doug, you've got me so worked up I'm going to cum real
soon".

He pulled off me. "No - not yet" he turned to face me
and started to kiss my face, my forehead and my eyelids.

Looking up at him I said "Your truly beautiful" and
caressed his cheek, "I can't see why you'd want me, I'm not
what anyone would call handsome."

"You have love and compassion. I fancied you first when
you shook my hand in Mr Fuller's office, you looked right
into my eyes and I saw no prejudice or hate, only caring and
a fear that you would fail me, it's like looking straight
into your heart. The rest of the day confirmed it in your
every action and consideration. I could stare into your
brown eyes forever and be happy." He smiled and kissed me on
the lips. "As the old saying goes beauty is in the eye of
the beholder, in your case it's your eyes that hold beauty -
your soul."

My breathing was now nearly back to normal and I pulled
him down for a deep kiss, but he pulled back and with a grin
that lit up his face and said "Round two."

He moved down the bed and lifted the waist band of my
boxers, glancing up at me to check he wasn't freaking me
out. I lifted my bottom to help him and he pulled them down.
My dick was as hard as it had ever been and although I've
always felt self conscious about my size, 5 1/2 inches, Doug
seemed to have no such misgivings. He pulled my boxers off
me completely and moved my legs apart. Kneeling in between
them he lowered his head onto my abdomen and flicked his
tongue into my navel, running one hand through my pubic hair
the other toying with a nipple.

I was torn, I wanted him to do something with my cock -
anything. I also wanted to keep the suspense up. This was
exhilarating and getting more intense by the second. Doug
placed his thumb and forefinger around the base of my
erection and prized it off my belly. It resisted, as hard as
stone. I whimpered - waiting. He started to lower his head,
maintaining the tension he licked down from my waist into my
pubic hair moving around the base of my dick he licked a
complete ring around it and then dropped down and nuzzled
into my balls, licking them. When he sucked one in his mouth
and flicked the ball about with his tongue I thought I was
going to cum. I moaned loudly, the intensity had gone up a
notch. I resisted the urge to shoot and it seemed to fade
slightly. I took deep breaths and tried to think of anything
but what that tongue was doing to me. It didn't work, Doug
had moved onto the other ball and he had started to moan as
well. He pulled back and my ball popped out, the tension
from his mouth pushing me even higher.

He knelt back surveying my manhood. It was bent
slightly to the left and there seemed to be no foreskin at
all. The extra skin had been absorbed in the expansion of
the engorged rod. He lowered his head and ran his tongue
around the rim of the head. I gripped the sheets tight and
arched my back. The explosion of feeling was leaving me
breathless. Panting away, wanting to feel more and knowing I
couldn't handle it.

He closed his lips around the head, wetting the dry
helmet with his tongue. My chest and neck muscles taut as
wire trying to hold back as he lowered and took more of me
in. The suction was light but that tongue was running around
and pressing into places that sent shivers up and down my
spine. I felt a finger run down below my balls rippling the
seam of skin, moving lower it entered the crack of my arse
and I automatically opened my legs wider, intoxicated in the
feelings he was giving me. When the finger came to my
puckered opening it pressed gently never hard enough to
enter but enough to make me moan. God! what a feeling.

He was moaning as much as I was now. He lowered his
head further down and I could feel his throat nipping at the
head. I was going to cum, nothing was going to stop it.
"Doug, I'm - " I couldn't get my breath "I'm cumming!"

The feeling doubled, tripled and climbed into overload
as Doug really started to suck hard. The tight spasms
started deep inside and my balls hurt as the pressure built
up. I stopped breathing and my whole body arched all muscles
straining, trying to bury more of me into Doug's mouth.
Pulses ran up from my balls as I shot one.. two.. three.....

Chapter Two: Questions.

I came to with Doug looking down at me grinning like
the Cheshire cat. "Like it?"

Between pants I replied "That doesn't even come close.
Just let me get my breath back."

I caressed his sides and pulled him down to me for a
kiss. The first flush of passion satiated the kiss was
loving and long. He lay on top of me and I rolled us onto
our sides. I stroked his chest, marvelling at the lack of
hair, the hard muscle tight and flexing at my touch. Pushing
him on to his back. The rush of uncertainty, clouded my
mind. It must have shown on my face. Doug looked away. That
decided it for me, I kissed him on his chin and kissed
underneath heading down to his neck.

"Tim, are you sure you want to do this? I'm happy as
things are." His Adam's apple bobbing under my lips as he
whispered.

I pulled back and looked down at him, his eyes flicking
back and forth searching my anxious face. I kissed him. "I
want this as much as you, but I'm unsure. I feel like a
virgin, desperately wanting it and frightened of doing
something wrong. I don't want to hurt or disappoint you."

He caressed my face, smiled and said "I don't think you
could or ever would." He lifted his head and kissed me, his
arms embracing me.

I stayed on my side propping my head up with one arm. I
trailed my other hand over his chest feeling the play of the
muscles and lingered over the bud of a nipple standing
proud, surrounded by an inch of dark pink skin. I lightly
rubbed the nipple and Doug gasped. The sudden rush of air
into his lungs made his rib cage more pronounced. I dropped
my mouth onto one nipple as I rubbed the other. Flicking it
and grazing it with my teeth. A moan from Doug told me I was
doing it right. I leant over him so I could put my mouth on
his other nipple and moved my hand lower along his side. My
arm touched something hot and hard lying on his belly. A
quick glance showed what it was and I got nervous again.

I licked lower watching the cock head raise itself from
his abdomen and then drop suddenly, only to repeat it a few
seconds later. The one eye dark, glistening and leaking.
This was new to me - oh I have read stories that went on
about pre-cum flowing in gallons but that is just fantasy.
My cock was well known to me and pre-cum happens only at the
point of cumming. With me pre-cum could fly further than any
spurt of cum. Joanne had surprised herself on our first real
date, she had wanked me off in the car and I'd hit the roof
on the first shot.

I purposefully avoided the place that contained my
worries and licked down on to his thighs. Doug moaned and
opened his legs fully, giving me access to everything. The
movement reminding me that it wasn't going to go away. I
started to pull my courage together, it was now or never. I
licked across the joint of thigh to groin and tasted a
muskiness that increased my excitement. I could feel my dick
twitch. His cock was big, I quickly stretched my hand along
side. It was slightly shorter than my hand span - under nine
inches but only by a little. I repositioned my self between
his legs. The sight looking up at him made me more nervous.
His half closed eyes watching me expectantly. I could see
him swallow and start to inhale in readiness to say
something. I knew I'd lose all my courage if he spoke and so
I dropped down and ran my tongue up his cock from the base
to the tip. His exhalation was a groan. The taste wasn't any
different except for the tip. A weak taste of cum, slightly
less bitter than mine but just as salty.

Reassured that I could do this, I licked the sides and
lifted it away from his belly. Wanting Tim to moan and groan
I took delight in licking it like a lollipop. My mind became
almost schizoid, one side enjoying the taste and feel of
hot, smooth skin over a hardened steel core pressing my
tongue in where ever the fancy took me, the other analysing
the look and shape of this flesh. A rounded inverted
triangle in cross section, flat and hard across the top but
pointed and softer at the bottom where the tube ran up. The
tube vanishing inside at the flared war helmet shaped head.
two little parted lips at the top of the eye. Another drop
of pre-come welled in the eye and I pushed my tongue into
it. Doug was panting now. I ran my tongue over the head. I
glanced up at Doug. His chest arched, the bottom rib of his
rib cage sharply defined. Head thrown back and his Adam's
apple bobbing up and down. Confidence growing by the second
I put my lips around it and took the head into my mouth and
started to suck.

Doug turned quickly to his side and cried out "Watch
your teeth!"

Oh God, I'd hurt him. stricken with remorse I shot off
him and looked up to his face. He was gasping for breath as
he sat up and pulled me into his embrace. I was trembling
and upset. He rubbed his hands across my back as his heart
rate and breathing became more normal. He raised my lowered
head. Kissing me on the mouth. I didn't respond - tears
coming to my eyes. "Tim, I'm all right it was just a shock,
don't worry you didn't hurt me." He kissed me again and
again lightly on the cheeks and forehead, nose and mouth.
This time I responded and he became more forceful. My arms
went around him and hugged him.

When our lips finally parted I was almost crying "I
didn't want to hurt you, I wanted you to love what I was
doing to you. I've ruined it". He comforted me his hands
massaging my back.

"Tim, I'm still yours - if you want me. You haven't
hurt me and I'd love for you to finish what you started. You
had me higher and wilder than I've ever been before. I
nearly came when you put your lips around me. I want - No -
need to feel like that again. I want you more than you could
possibly imagine."

Looking deeply into his flickering eyes, so green. I
didn't want to let him go. "Will you let me try again? I
wanted this to be so good."

He laughed and lay back "Let you, let you. I want you
to do it". When he was back in the centre of the bed lying
down. He stretched and raised his arms off the bed." I'm all
yours, take me, I want you to make love to me again and
again and ag..."

I shut off the stream by plunging my tongue into his
mouth, my lips locked onto his. My hands roaming over his
body that I no longer feared playing with. Breathing through
our noses we didn't want to break off the kiss. It finally
broke when I rubbed both of his nipples at the same time.
His back arched pushing my body away. I was trying to press
every erotic button that I could find and it was affecting
me just as much as Doug. We had both gone soft whilst he'd
comforted me but I was rock hard again. I wanted him to
forget what had happened in the pleasure of this. I turned
his head and probed his ear with my tongue, trying
everything that Joanne used to turn me on. Doug's breathing
was getting ragged. I lightly chewed where his neck joined
his shoulder, he groaned. Moving my tongue lower my hands
never stopping, I wanted to feel him all over. Perspiration
covered his chest and abdomen like a fine dew and I revelled
in running my tongue through it. I lifted his cock up from
his belly and dug my tongue in to his navel. Twirling my
tongue through his red pubic hair as I went. I was loving
this, trying to give Doug as much pleasure as I possibly
could.

This was going too fast. Telling myself to slow it down
I moved back up and kissed him sucking his bottom lip in. I
licked the underside of his chin and nipped his Adam's apple
with my lips. I raised up off him and looked at him. He was
panting and his eyes were bright, desire glinting in them.

His breathing got good enough for speech. "God! What
ever your doing, don't stop it feels fantastic - I haven't
ever felt like this."

Happy that the past was exactly that. I kissed him
deeply and moved myself down to his groin. His legs were
even wider than before. I licked his ball bag and sucked it
into my mouth remembering how good it had felt. Keeping the
sack away from my teeth was hard but I think I did it right
as Doug was moaning. I rolled the ball back and forth,
feeling the crinkly hair tickle the sides of my mouth. I let
it drop from my mouth and started on the other.

I remembered one wild night Joanne and myself had once
had after watching a porno movie called "Mother-in-laws
Tongue" and what she had done with it. I decided that I
would do it. I might regret it, Joanne and I had really
washed well that night. Doug wouldn't regret it though. The
feeling was incredible. I lifted his balls and licked below
them running and pressing my tongue into where the nerves
run together."

Doug gasped "Oh God!" and lifted his legs up.
Supporting them with my hands I went lower and lower. The
lack of thick hair made movement easy. Joanne is quite
hairy.

Using my thumbs to separate his cheeks I licked lower,
enjoying it more as the smell and taste were just sweat with
a slight hint of something else I couldn't quite name,
nothing abhorrent just puzzling. My thoughts rearranged
themselves when I got to that little puckered rose. I
circled it with my tongue and pressed hard. A spasm shot
through Doug. Fear ran through me - had I done it again.

Doug was moaning "Yes!, Yes!, Yes!" and his head was
rocking back and forth.

I went back to that little puckered hole and flicked
and pressed my tongue all around it and on it, it gave way
slowly. My tongue was in and the ring of muscle was
alternately gripping and then pushing. The taste was
unusual, slightly bitter but still not bad. I pushed harder
and deeper, moving my tongue around as much as I could. Doug
was rotating and thrusting down on my tongue.

The muscles in my mouth and face were getting tired. I
needed to finish this. I lowered his legs back down. His
dick was raised off his belly and wasn't dropping back down
again. I moved to his side and rested my head just above the
cockhead. Lifting it slightly I closed my mouth around it,
withdrawing my lips hard under my teeth. I wasn't going to
make the same mistake again. Doug groaned. I started to suck
and tongue the head, steadily increasing the suction. I
sucked hard and Doug screamed. Oh God not again. I pulled
off and looked at Doug's face.

His face was almost puce, a grimace, his eyes tight
shut. He wasn't breathing. Every muscle tense. I recognised
it wasn't pain, an exquisite torture maybe, but it wasn't
pain.

I quickly put my mouth back around his helmet, flicked
around it with my tongue and resumed sucking building up
until I was sucking as hard as I could. Doug screamed again.
He started flailing about and came. His cock was having
convulsions, pulsing and expanding. A shot of burning hot
liquid hit the back of my throat and I swallowed
automatically. Another and another, my mouth was filling up
faster than I could swallow. I lifted off and watched him
shoot three more times and then he collapsed totally
drained, all muscles limp.

I loved the taste of him. This was Doug's seed I was
swallowing. I licked the splashes of come on his belly and
followed them down to the source. Remembering how sensitive
my cock was after I came, I didn't touch it.

I leant over him lying against him, I watched his face,
breathing hard, the colour fading and his eyes moving behind
his eyelids. Kissing his forehead and neck and anywhere in
reach. I couldn't get enough of him. I traced his expanded
rib cage with my fingers, my flat hand moving from one side
to the other.

When he opened his eyes I kissed him lightly on the
lips, cheeks and chin, His eyes never left mine. "Oh Tim!"
he wailed and started to cry.

Concerned "Doug, what's the matter? What have I done
wrong?"

"No - you haven't done anything wrong - it's me." He
closed his eyes, tears trailing out from the corners and
running back towards his ears.

"What is it? I pulled him into an embrace. He gently
tried to resist but I wasn't having any of it. "Tell me
Doug. What's making you sad? Why are you crying?"

"You'll hate me, I can't."

"I won't hate you, I could never hate you"

He wailed louder and then stunned me to the core "I
think - I think I've fallen for you. I love you and you
can't be mine!" He wailed and clung tighter."

My mind a whirl, emotions run rife, I tried to fathom
my feelings. I loved Joanne madly deeply. What did I feel
for Doug. A leaf in a gale was nothing compared to what I
was feeling. Tears sprang to my eyes. Was it infatuation?
The afterglow of sex? Or was there more? Was the affection I
felt love? Was it true or was it compassion? No, a part of
me was thrilled at his declaration of love, was that my love
for him, responding. I had strong affection for Doug, was it
love? Could I be in love with two people? His pain and grief
was hurting me. Love - I don't know.

"Doug. This has happened so incredibly fast, we've only
known each other for a few hours. I can't say I'm in love
with you - I don't know, I'm mixed up inside. I need time to
think about it. I can't lie to you, I love Joanne more than
life itself. I have great affection for you, it may be love.
I don't know."

His wailing had calmed down to sobs in my shoulder and
I pressed against him, trying to comfort him as much as
possible. I dragged a pillow across and lifted Doug's head.
I kissed him lightly across the lips trying to draw the pain
away. My back was envious of the warmth of Doug's body
against my front. I pulled away from him. Making sure my
weight never left the bed and that some part of me was
touching him all the time. I grabbed the duvet. Lying back
down next to Doug I dragged the duvet up over us. I pulled
him tight into an embrace and put his arms around me.
Kissing him on the mouth. His sobs now quietening to the odd
whimper. I rested my head next to his on the pillow no more
than an inch apart and watched him closely as he fell
asleep. Distraught and confused I waited for sleep.

----------------------------------------

I awoke to the sound of ringing. I opened my eyes,
Doug's back was to me and we had rolled together in the
centre. I cuddled closer to him, my mind clear of the
previous night's confusion. The curtains let through a dim
daylight. The ringing continued, I was slow to realise what
it was, the telephone! I flung the duvet back and made a mad
dash out of the room and down the stairs. My hand not one
foot away from the receiver and it stopped. Who could it be?
I looked at the grandfather clock 9:30. Oh my God! Joanne
was late for her meeting, I dashed back up stairs and opened
our bedroom door. The curtains were drawn and the bed made.
Joanne had already gone.

The phone started to ring again and I ran back down the
stairs grabbing it frantically. I panted into it "Design
Liaison."

It was Joanne's voice she laughed "No it's not. Come on
sleepy head, Your getting really hard to wake up in the
mornings, this is my fourth call."

I sat down on the bottom step "I love you."

"Now that's what I love to hear, straight from your
heart. I love you too - look I'm going to have to go back
into this meeting. We have a lot of interns so I'm not going
to be back before 1:00. Your going to have to do the
shopping without me, remember we need soap powder and
toothpaste, I used the last this morning. Oh and make sure
you get a big enough joint for Sunday, Dave's coming over
for dinner as well. Got to go - I love you, bye."

The phone clicked and quietly buzzed, I put it back on
the hook. I turned to climb the stairs. Doug was stood at
the top, he quickly turned and went back into the spare
room. I went upstairs and followed him.

Doug was pulling up his jeans. He looked at me quickly
and then started searching the floor for his shoes and
socks. "Don't worry Tim, I'm going - you wont ever see me
again."

My morning fuddle was making it hard to think. I sat on
the bed trying to clear my head "Don't leave, I couldn't
take that right now. I don't like to lose people I love."

Doug stopped and walked in front of me lifting my head
by my chin very gently. Looking down at me he said "Are you
sure Tim? You aren't just saying that. My feelings don't
matter in this."

Staring straight into his eyes I said "Doug, I love you
- please stay, I need you."

He pushed me flat on my back, and jumped on me kissing
me all over my face and saying. "Oh Tim, I love you so much
it hurts." He kissed me deeply our tongues playing a ballet
and then pulled off. "But what about Joanne?"

"I still love her the same, if not more after last
night. I need a coffee, I don't think too well in the
mornings."

Doug got up his face bubbling with joy. "I'll go make
it." He grabbed his T-shirt and was gone.

I went into my bathroom and turned the shower on,
giving it chance to warm up. I went to clean my teeth - no
toothpaste. A quick gargle of mouth wash was all I could do.
I stepped into the shower and let the warm water run over
me. Sudden starts to the day always upset my thinking.

"Coffee's ready." The shout was muffled but quite
distinct. I stepped out of the shower, dried myself and was
dressing when I noticed Doug watching me from the doorway.
"Don't stop. I came to tell you your coffee is downstairs -
God! your beautiful."

I laughed "Now that's a lie. I'm plain and ordinary.
They even stopped calling me cute after my fifth birthday."

"You should see what I see, there isn't anything plain
or ordinary about you."

Tucking my shirt into my trousers I walked over to him,
kissed him on the cheek and said "Where's this coffee."

Two mugs of coffee later my brain was up to speed. I
searched the desk for pen and paper and started going
through the cupboards, building up a list of what was
needed, any frozen vegetables and meats, I checked the
freezer. I went into the dining room and checked the drinks
cabinet, Brandy, red wine. "Doug is cider your normal
drink?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well, we're going to need some. None of us drink it."

"Tim, Joanne's going to be very upset about this. Maybe
it'd be better for all, if I just left. I don't want to hurt
you or Joanne but she's going to hate me when she finds
out."

I walked over to him and hugged him close "I just found
you, I'm not going to lose you now. Please no more talk of
leaving." I kissed him long and lovingly. When we broke
"Come help me do the shopping, She wont be back until late,
at least we can be together till then."

Doug followed me out, perplexed at my calmness. We got
in the car and drove to the supermarket. Like a lot of men
we tried to do the shopping in as short a time as possible,
squeezing past all the women perusing every tin, packet and
box on the shelves and stiff necked husbands, pushing
trolleys very slowly up the isle, who were wishing they
weren't there.

I only remembered the soap powder and toothpaste whilst
we were in the queue to pay. Doug volunteered to go get them
and I shouted the brand names as he walked up the isle. I
became more nervous as time went on. he hadn't returned and
half of our groceries had gone through the till. Had he
left? What would I do? My eyes searching each aisle looking
for his red hair. A shout of my name made me turn round but
it was just a man calling his child. Where would he go? The
last of my items passed through the till and the checkout
girl totalled it up. I was about to pass my charge card
over, convinced he'd gone when I heard his voice.

"Excuse me - Uhm, excuse me please." There he was
trying to get through the queue of people and trolleys. My
heart was fluttering in my chest. A close shave. I wasn't
going to take that chance again.

"What took you so long?"

"Oh they didn't have any of your soap powder on the
shelves and I had to find someone to check in the back."

We put the last two items through the till. I paid and
we walked out to the car. After loading up Doug took the
trolley to one of the collection points. I watched him all
the way there and back again.

I drove us home. Whilst we unpacked the bags and filled
the cupboards, I made us tea and coffee and then we went
back into the lounge. Doug wandered back and forth along the
book shelves, drinking his tea as he ran his hand along each
book, reading their titles.

My Tom Clancy novel was on the table and I picked it
up. Opening it up to the bookmark I was soon engrossed.

His arms wrapped me up from behind. Doug whispered into
my ear "Have I told you how much I love you and need you or
how I want you in the worst ways possible." He kissed and
tongued my neck and ear, his hot breath was like an
aphrodisiac. I was getting an erection.

I wanted him to make love to me again. I wanted him to
stay. I closed my book. My dick tenting my trousers and I
impishly said "Be gentle with me - please."

He laughed and called me a tease. He moved to my side
and kissed me deep. Our tongues clashing together. When we
broke apart he pulled me out of the chair and led me up in
to the spare bedroom.

He led me to the bed, falling back on it he pulled me
down on top of him. "Do you really love me Tim? Are you
really mine? Or is this a dream and I'm going to wake up
soon?"

Thoughts of Joanne entered my head, did I love one more
than the other? "I love you and Joanne equally. I can never
be just yours, but I hope I have love enough for both of
you."

Doug near broke my heart when he said "I'm going to
lose you, I think I'll die without you." His eyes wet.

I kissed him and said "I'm all yours now." I rubbed his
sides. I wanted his T-shirt off. I wanted him nude and in my
arms. His hands started to unbutton my shirt and I started
to pull his T-shirt out of his jeans. I got there first and
he raised his arms and let me pull it off him. I started
trying to unbutton his jeans, I could only do it by feel.
his hands were undoing the last buttons of my shirt and I
couldn't see. The reversed directions baffled me and his
face was too appealing. I sank down on to him, kissing him.
His hands moved to my sides and started to grab at the
shirt. The last button popped and I moved my arms to my side
letting him pull it off me. Our tongues locked together,
breath going backwards and forwards. I broke away and said
"All I can think of is you - your driving me insane." I
kissed him again more passionately and he rolled me over.

He lifted his lips off mine and hugged me tight. "I
love you, with all my heart. I'm yours and always will be."

Moving down he took one of my nipples into my mouth and
sucked it. His hands sliding down to my trousers. The clip
was no problem and he unzipped them and pulled them down. I
lifted my bottom supporting both of us as he slid them off.
Pulling off me he sank to his knees on the floor and started
to unlace my shoes. I sat up staring at him, then bent over
double and kissed his hair. He pulled my socks off and
lifted my feet out of my trouser legs. Standing up he folded
my trousers and put them across the dressing table. He
kicked off his shoes and standing on one leg pulled off a
sock, dropping it there. He walked another step closer and
did the same taking the other sock off. He started to
unbutton his jeans and I shot off the bed. Dropping to my
knees in front of him, I removed his hands and started to
pop each stud in his fly. Dropping his jeans to the floor he
lifted his feet out and backed up one pace. I picked up his
jeans and as I took one step forward on my knees I chucked
them away, never letting my eyes move from him. He laughed
and pulled me up.

He said "You really want me!" embracing me and his
hands slid into my boxers and cupped each cheek. Sliding
them down, pulling the front to clear my cock.

Sliding my arms around him, I looked into his eyes.
"Want, I need you." I finished undressing him and his
underpants dropped to the floor. Moving one hand up behind
his head I pushed him into a kiss. 1 minute, 5 minutes, 10,
who knows how long but it was intense, loving and
satisfying. We separated and I groaned "You've turned me on
again!, I hope your ready, I'm never going to have my fill
of you." I pulled him to the bed.

"Tim.." He seemed unsure of how to say something, fear,
hope and something else flashed across his face too quickly
to read.

"What, my love?" His face lit up and then clouded
again.

"I want you to ... When you put your tongue in me, I
wanted .. Will you fuck me?" He dropped his face afraid of
seeing revulsion.

I pulled him to me and lifted his head. "To please you,
I will do anything - I love you, but I'm afraid of hurting
you again. You make me very hard!"

He pushed me flat on my back and I lifted my legs on to
the bed, scooting closer to the centre. He climbed over to
me and started to suck on my dick. I grabbed his waist and
pulled him around, into a 69. I started to suck on the head
gently, very careful of my teeth. The feeling was wonderful,
I wanted more. I lifted my head and took another couple of
inches but I couldn't tongue the head and the softer tube
was the wrong side. I sucked harder and swiped my tongue
across wherever I could reach.

A tingle was starting in my balls. Doug's tongue and
lips were tormenting me. I gasped "Ah, Doug, stop that or I
wont be able to do anything."

He pulled off and the angles all changed, It was his
bottom above me now. It was going to need lubrication if I
was going to go ahead. The fear of tasting something awful
was overridden by a need to please Doug. I separated his
cheeks and swiped my tongue along the crack. A little taste
but not much. I did it again slower and waited for the tip
of my tongue to find the entrance. Doug moaned as I started
pressing around it. He raised himself more upright and I
lost it. I located it again and locked my arms over his back
stopping him from moving again. I pressed again and fought
an involuntary bucking motion. Doug was panting. The ring of
muscle was relaxing and starting to open. I drilled my
tongue up as hard as I could and Doug groaned. I let go of
him and pushed him down the bed as I climbed higher. I had
better access now I could see what I was doing. Doug was on
all fours near the bottom of the bed. Me behind him licking
and probing his hole. One hand spreading his cheeks as far
apart as they would go, wanking him slowly with the other.
My lips locked round the ring of muscle and my tongue deep
inside. I sucked and Doug's front end collapsed. He screamed
"I'm cumming!". An idea struck and I grabbed his cockhead.
One shot, two shots into my hand. My tongue feeling his hole
opening and closing with each pulse.

I backed off and rubbed the slippery load over my dick,
I waited for Doug to go limp. His breathing resumed ragged
and now it was time. I slowly moved forward lining my cock
with his wide open hole. I moved gently my cockhead touching
the ring of muscle, a little resistance and I was in. I
moved my hands to his sides and ever so slowly entered him
fully. I rested over his back, trying to ignore the feeling
of the hot moist tightness surrounding my cock.

Doug, coming round, weak in the aftershocks tried to
turn and couldn't, he was fully impaled. Realising what was
happening. Doug said "Fuck me Tim - please fuck me."

I pulled back a little and thrust forward, again out a
little more and back in. I raised my self up and looked
down. I pulled back an inch and thrust forward. Doug moaned.
Slowly gauging the distance I pulled back more and more
thrusting forward and back even more. I discovered the
feeling of the ring of muscle against my flared head. I had
the distance. I rammed forward. Periodically a contraction
around my dick caused an exquisite feeling and I moaned.

Doug kept demanding me to fuck harder, I didn't want to
hurt him but the feeling of tingles in my balls pushed me to
ram it home. It felt glorious. I was panting more than Doug,
I couldn't keep this up much longer. I had to stop or I'd
lose it. I pulled out and pulled him up and over onto his
back. He hiked his legs up and wide apart. His hole was
gaping and I moved myself into position to carry on. My cock
was so hard, bending it down hurt. I lowered myself on to
him. Guiding my dick in with a leading hand. Arms free, I
hugged him and he lifted himself to kiss me as I sank into
him.

I stayed still trying to regain control but Doug
started to shift and thrust against me. I started humping.
Doug wrapped his arms around me and then broke off the kiss.
"Fuck me hard. - Yes! - Yes! - Yes! Harder". His panting and
the feel of his body, his legs bent around my thighs, was
getting to me. This was it, I was cumming, my mind
concentrating on the incredible spasms constricting around
the whole of my dick. Doug screamed in ecstasy. My head
thrown back. I groaned trying to maintain the motion but
ended up burying myself as deep as I could.

A few moments later I recovered enough to take my
weight off Doug, his breathing as hard as mine. I plopped
out and rolled to the side of him, hugging him close and
kissed him lightly. We slept.

When I awoke Doug was running his fingers around my
ear, moving my hair behind it. I only wanted to say one
thing "I love you!"

He lifted himself up and we kissed, our tongues twining
together before our lips touched. He broke away a look of
shock on his face "Oh God!" Doug struggled to his feet one
hand covering his abused hole and hopped his way into the
bathroom. I couldn't help it the look of him jiggling from
side to side and cheeks tight together, I laughed.

"What's so funny?" Knowing it was at him.

"Never mind. I'm going for a shower, I need one." I
went out across the landing and turned on the shower.
Stepping inside I started to lather up some soap and cleaned
my cock and balls. The curtain pulled back a bit and Doug
stuck his head in.

"Can I join you?" I pulled the curtain open and pulled
him in. Closing it after him I turned and embraced him.
There really wasn't enough room for two, about 4' square but
if we stayed close we could both be under the shower. I
rinsed my hands and using a shower gel started to soap up
his chest. He stood there watching my face, saying nothing.
I pulled his arm up and soaped his slight under arm hair and
along his forearm to his hand. He rinsed it and I repeated
it with the other arm.

"Tim, I'm going to have to go. I can't stay. Your
married and even though we love each other, it isn't meant
to be. No, don't say anything - it'll only make this harder
for me. If I stay you would lose Joanne and I couldn't carry
the guilt of breaking you two up. You love her and she loves
you and I'll be happy that the person I love is loved and
cared for." Tears in his eyes, he pulled the curtain to the
side and stepped out.

"Doug..." I jumped out of the shower and ran into the
bedroom. He was hastily pulling his jeans onto his wet body.
I embraced him but he pulled away and grabbed his T-shirt. I
was desperate. What do I do? My vow to Jenny and Joanne was
going to make me lose him. "Doug. Please don't go. this is
going to work." He looked at me and I knew he didn't believe
me. He pulled his socks on and sat on the edge of the bed as
he put his shoes on. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around
my self, the evaporation of water chilling me.

"Honey, I'm home, did you do the shopping." Joanne's
voice. I'd never heard a sweeter sound. Doug looked
desperate to leave - anywhere.

I opened the door and shouted "We're up here." Doug
looked at me as if I'd betrayed him and he went to go down
the stairs. Joanne was coming up.

"And how do you feel today? Doug. You seemed so upset
and sad yesterday."

"Oh fine, but I've got to go." He wouldn't look at her,
couldn't.

I looked into her face my eyes red and tears streaming
down my face. And I knew, she knew I loved him. She motioned
for me to leave him to her. "Doug, before you go I need to
talk with you."

"I'm in a bit of a rush. I really should get going."

"That's a lie if I ever heard one. We really need to
talk. Right now seems fine! I hope you love Tim, I know that
Tim loves you." Doug's eyes shot up from the floor at her in
shock. "I knew it last night."

I stared at her amazed, my mouth open - I only knew
myself this morning.

She leaned forward and gently put a finger under my
chin and lifted. I closed my mouth. She continued "I think
we all could do with a drink. Why don't you go down and sit
in front of the fire. It's too cold to run around wet. I'll
make the coffee, tea for you Doug?" She turned around and
headed down the stairs.

Doug as stunned as I was, replied "Yes... Yes please."
I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. At first he
didn't respond and then he held me tight and said "I don't
understand. She should be shocked or angry or revolted. I
love her husband."

"Kettle's on, I've lit the gas fire. Tim can you bring
some more towels down? I think Doug needs to get his wet
clothes off before he gets a cold."

I opened the airing cupboard and pulled the top couple
of towels off the stack, and closed the door. Doug hadn't
moved He was still staring at me unsure of what was going
on. I put my arm around him and guided him down in to the
lounge. The fake coal fire was warming up and I sat him down
on the hearth rug and pulled Doug's T-shirt off. He moved
his arms to help me but seemed numb and unthinking. I got up
to fetch my comb from the small chest of drawers by the
large mirror in the hall. I towelled his hair, he was slow
to come to but he lifted his hands to the towel and took
over from me. I then started drying my own, next to him.

Joanne came in carrying a tray of drinks and put them
down on the coffee table. Moving the mugs onto the table
closest to the person the drink was intended for. She sat
back and after sipping some of her hot coffee said "It's a
miserable day out there, you don't know how long I have been
looking forward to this. The university has a coffee machine
which turns out liquid cardboard."

I combed my drying hair and then handed the comb to
Doug. He quickly combed his hair and passed it back.

I started to unbutton Doug's jeans and he grabbed my
hand "What are you doing?" not believing that I would engage
in sex with him, in front of my wife.

"You'll catch your death, your jeans and T-shirt are
sopping wet. They need to go into the tumble dryer."

Doug's face coloured a bit and he whispered "I don't
have anything on underneath."

"Well go and take them off and wear a towel." He stood
up, nervously staring at Joanne and I motioned him to go. He
walked up stairs.

I sat on the sofa next to Joanne, she put her arm
around my waist. Confused I asked "How did you know that I
loved him last night? I only really knew this morning."

She smiled and said that to answer my question we had
better wait for Doug.

Maybe a minute later Doug came back down. He had a
bundle of clothes in his hands and seemed reserved and
nervous. I got up and took them off him and walked into the
kitchen. Opening the dryer I quickly checked the
pockets of the jeans, empty and the chucked them into
the tumble dryer with the T-shirt. I set it on high heat
with the timer set for 15 minutes.

When I got back into the lounge and Doug was sat in the
chair furthest from Joanne. This silence and nervousness in
the air got to me and I said, maybe a little too loud "Doug,
Joanne wont bite." He smiled at me nervously.

Joanne stood up and moved Doug's tea closer to him.
"Tim, I didn't exactly know that you loved Doug. But I knew
that if you two had sex then you would." Blushing red, Doug
was staring at Joanne again. "Doug stop looking at me like
that, Tim has only ever had sex with two people in his life,
me and you!" She sat back and drank a little more of her
coffee and I sat down staring at her as well.

She looked at me and the Doug and then back again and
laughed. "The looks on your faces are priceless. Look it's
very simple." She reached over and took my hand. Caressing
my face "You have so much love in you that it sort of spills
out. You don't have sex - you make love." Not seeing
comprehension in my eyes she continued "I don't know if I
can make you understand, I've had 14 years to get to know
you and I've never seen you run out of compassion or love,
for even a moment. There is a great urge in you to give love
any way you can. Sex is just the gateway for that love to
make itself known."

She looked over at Doug and carried on "I don't think
Tim will ever understand, it's a part of him. You should
Doug, Tim's so loving that he's more concerned with how his
lover feels than what he feels. When he makes love to me, I
feel so loved and content, so full of love, so high on it
that I've never thought of taking another man to my bed
again. I don't think any other man could compare. I know
that none of them before Tim were even close." Doug nodded
and shyly smiled. "Doug, I hope you love him, Tim loves both
of us. It would tear him apart if we fought over him, I
couldn't handle that. Tim wants you to stay." By the end she
had tears in her eyes and I hugged her close and kissed her.

Doug had tears in his eyes as well "Joanne, I love Tim
so much I couldn't bear to live without him. I don't know
how this is going to work, but I'll take the chance - if
you'll let me."

Tears of happiness on my face I opened up an arm and
Doug came into my embrace. All of us crying.

The 'ding' from the tumble dryer ended the three way
embrace. Joanne separated herself and went into the kitchen.
"Doug do you have anymore clothes, I shouldn't have let Tim
put them in the dryer. I'm afraid the T-shirts had it.
Anything electronic and Tim's brilliant but I wouldn't trust
him with anything mechanical, he couldn't operate a sledge
hammer to save his life."

After the tears and expressions of love the joke
cracked me up. I couldn't help myself I was laughing so much
it hurt. Doug smiled then grinned and started laughing too.

Joanne walked back in with Doug's jeans and put her
arms around us. "You'll have to give Doug one of your shirts
whilst you take him back to get his stuff." I nodded still
unable to talk.

----------------------------------------

Doug and I got out of the car and I locked the doors.
After waiting for a gap in the four lane traffic we crossed
to the YMCA. A middle aged woman was sat behind a table with
a board of hooks and keys, mostly missing. A stairway
climbed up from further down the hall. A worn maroon carpet
that didn't quite reach the walls ran from the door down to
the base of the stairs and down a corridor to the side.

"Hi Doug - we missed you last night and you know that
if I could I'd get you your room but Carl gave it away at
last night. I tried to stop him but he said rules are rules,
and you know how difficult he can be."

Doug smiled reassuringly "It's OK Carol, I'm moving out
anyway."

"Oh it won't seem like the same place without you."
Obviously enjoying a little banter, she finished "I won't
miss your music though.". She laughed and Doug joined in.

Looking at me she smiled kindly and said "Yes dear,
what can I do for you?"

I said "I'm with Doug."

She came around the back of the table and looked me up
and down. "Doug..., is what I think is going on. Going on?"

Doug's face beamed and he came up to me and put his arm
round me and said "Tim this is Carol, one of my few friends.
And yes Carol I love him. I'm going to live at his house.
We've come to get my stuff."

"I'm happy for you both - I put your clothes in locker
37, and your things are in a box in the office." She went
and got a key from one of the hooks and gave it to Doug.
"You get your clothes and we'll get your things."

Doug hugged me and said he'd be a few minutes while he
got his clothes. Taking two steps at a time he quickly
vanished up the stairs.

Carol went to the door, flipped the Yale lock and
closed it. "Follow me dear and I'll show you where Doug's
things are." She wandered down the corridor and turned
waiting for me at the first turn. "It's this way." I walked
towards her and she turned to the left. "Tell me, do you
love Doug, I wouldn't want to see him hurt, he's been hurt
so many times."

Embarrassed with the thought of displaying my emotions
to a stranger I didn't really want to answer. She took a key
ring from a top pocket, fumbled for a second passing each
key through her fingers. Turned to the door and inserted one
into the lock. "Do you love him, really love him? I need to
know." She half turned holding the key in the door. stared
in to my face. "I love him like a son. I've watched out for
him for over ten years. Tell me - please!"

I saw the worry and concern in her eyes and on her
face. "Yes, I love him. I really do love him." Her face
relaxed and she turned the key. Opening the door into a room
more used as a storeroom than as an office. Casually
stepping over boxes and packages as if they'd been there for
years she pointed to a cardboard box about 1' by 3' by 2'.

"That's Doug's."

I walked over to it the tops interleaved together.
Picking it up I found it fairly light maybe 20lbs in weight.
"Is this all?"

"Yes - that's all of it. I nearly forgot - I've got his
Walkman charging in the kitchen." She held the door open and
as I left she pulled it closed after her. I walked back to
the entrance and put the box down on the table. She appeared
about 20 seconds later carrying a Walkman and charger these
she put on top of the box and went to open the doors.

The sound of running feet down stairs made me turn as
Doug came running with a large sports bag. Dropping the bag
by the table he went and kissed Carol on the cheek. "Bye,
I'll come back and visit"

"Take care and make sure you do come and visit."

We put Doug's things in the car and when we got in Doug
hugged me and said "Let's go home!"

----------------------------------------

Chapter Three: Answers.

Tim and Doug were out getting Doug's things from the
YMCA and I was left at home preparing dinner. Nothing
terribly fussy, a simple green salad, potato salad and some
game pie from the delicatessen in Edgely. With my hands
active I could think of what had happened over the last 24
hours. It had been a time of great change, Tim was confused,
excited and emotional having discovered another side of
himself and another person to love. I had known pretty much
how things would turn out, unlike most preconceived
stereotypes Tim is more emotional and intuitive than I am.

In 14 years I had really got to know Tim, His likes and
dislikes, the unique view of the world he holds, his eyes
and to a little extent his face had always displayed his
feelings. It was one of the things that had attracted me to
him before I even knew his name. I smiled at the memory of
Tim as a fresh faced 21 year old. I had been watching him as
he stood by the arcade machine in the student union bar at
college. He was surreptitiously watching me and then quickly
turning back to watch his friend (Dave) play whenever my
gaze passed over him. He wasn't what I would call handsome,
there was an air of vulnerability and innocence that was
sort of appealing. His glances at me became more frequent as
time passed. He once headed across towards me and then
abruptly changed direction and went to the bar instead. This
fired my interest and I decided to stay until closing time
to see if he would ever build up enough courage to ask the
question he wanted to.

After finally deciding, swallowing the last of his
drink, he'd walked up to me and asked if I'd like a drink.
It was the first time I had looked into his eyes, dark and
soulful. Fear and anticipation, in equal measures, shone
out. Those eyes held me and because I didn't answer at
first, he repeated his question. I smiled and the fear
vanished, replaced with a kind of yearning hope, I asked for
a vodka and orange. He'd asked the barmaid for our drinks as
if it was the greatest thing he'd ever done. Over the next
two years we'd grown closer and closer. During one visit to
my parents, my mum had told me never to let him go as he was
'one in a million', as if this was news to me. He had been a
friend, a companion, a confidante, my best friend, my lover
and was increasingly becoming the most important person in
the world. Four days later, Monday the 25th of June 1984, he
told me he loved me and wanted to marry me.

Never in all the years I had known him had we been able
to hide our feelings or desires from each other. His love
and faith transcended everything else, his trust was total -
nothing was held back. That kind of trust can't be abused,
once in 12 years of marriage had I had thoughts of someone
else. I'd told Tim that night, the first chance I had got.
There was a pain in the guilt, that bordered on physical,
that was only relieved by confessing.

I had discovered in myself the capacity to love two
people. Bi-sexual is the scientific term, though that only
describes the physical side. Although Tim is my other half
and when we are together we are complete, he is almost my
opposite, the yin to my yang - a perfect match. When I found
Jenny three years ago, I discovered in her a kindred spirit.
Someone who knew my thoughts because she had them. The
friendship started when she came to me for extra tuition as
an undergraduate.

Jenny is about the same age as Doug, maybe a year or
two older. She has that sort of happy-go-lucky
mischievousness and forthrightness that was admirable.
Nobody ever took offence when she would blurt out something
without thinking, she has a quality that enables her to make
friends from acquaintances extremely quickly. She voiced the
thoughts I would never dare to say, do and push me into
doing, the things I would love to do but would fear the
consequences or what other people would think of me. Jenny
gave me a love of life and kept it filled with interest and
mysteriousness.

Thinking of Jenny and me, I could see in Doug and Tim
the opposites. Where Jenny was an extrovert, Doug was an
introvert, Jenny had a naivet� that always seemed to work
out, there was very little she was afraid of. Doug was
almost a cynic and his life had rarely any fun, He expected
disaster and seemed shocked when it didn't work out that
way.

I looked at the clock, Tim and Doug should be home very
soon. I laid the table for four and placed the salads and
pie in the centre. Getting out the liquidizer I poured the
oil & vinegar and put in the garlic for the dressing. Damn I
had forgotten to get out the garlic bread. Quickly pulling
it out of the freezer I checked the cooking time - it would
be done in time if I put it in now, just.

It was coming time to pick up Jenny from the railway
station. I hoped the train from Euston wouldn't be delayed.
Jenny designed kits and minor electrical goods for self
assembly for Maplin and RS Electronics with a little
freelance work for Tandy. It was the perfect job for her,
she rarely had the patience to work on a single project for
long, but it was a shame that it had to be in London.

After putting the garlic bread in the oven and setting
the oven timer, I grabbed my keys and left. The traffic was
horrendous, Saturday at 5:30 isn't usually this bad. Turning
into Station Approach and driving up the hill to the railway
station I noticed roadwork's higher up the main road with
traffic lights - no wonder the road was gridlocked.

There isn't any real parking space at the station so I
waited a few yards behind the taxi rank. With five minutes
to go before the train was due I had just enough time to go
through a couple of reports. Looking at the pile of folders
and books strewn across the back seat, (Tim called my car
'the only Ford Sierra two seater.' I keep meaning to tidy up
the car but I never seem to get around to it). Grabbing a
few folders from the pile behind my seat I started to go
through the first report. Casey Edwards - good on theory but
lousy at practice. Every minute or so I would scan the
entrance and forecourt for Jenny. Getting a red pen from the
door compartment I wrote my comments on her work, B-, not
bad for Casey she was definitely improving. I closed the
folder and stuck it behind the passenger seat - a crazy
system but it works.

I looked up, a lot of people were coming out of the
station, a train had arrived, I checked my watch, the train
had been due a couple of minutes ago. There she was with her
Samsonite suitcase, the one with wheels. I got out and
waved, saw her smile and change direction towards me. I
stuck the rest of the folders behind my seat. Jenny is about
5' 7", the classic hour glass shape. Slim, She could eat
anything she liked and wouldn't put a pound of weight on
(Me, I could stare at a cream pie and feel my waist
expanding). Long blond hair that reached just a few inches
past the shoulders. Slate grey eyes with flecks of silver,
pert red lips and a straight roman nose that she thought was
too pointy, she had kept threatening to go to a plastic
surgeon and have it altered. I loved it.

I opened the hatchback and when she got to me she
hugged me and said "I've missed you and have I got some
news!" She hugged me tighter and then releasing me, bent
down and picked up her suitcase and put it in the car. As
she moved to the passenger door and stood by it waiting for
me to unlock it she said "Guess what?"

She seemed so excited and bubbly unable to hold it in.
"What?"

With a grin she said "You'll never believe it!"

Dropping the hatch back I walked around the car and got
in. Leaning over I unlocked the passenger door and Jenny got
in. "Don't keep me on tenterhooks, I'm all ears."

"Well, last night you know I had to finish that
amplifier project for Monday, Paul came round with the
directors and they went into the office and talked for over
an hour. When he came out he started to measure up the
office. and counting plugs and sockets - They're moving the
office." She paused watching my face. "To Manchester, well
Oldham really, but it means I can get rid of that apartment
and stay here with you and Tim!"

I hugged and said "That's wonderful! - I hate you
having to be away."

I was dying to tell her what had happened but I knew
that it was Tim and Doug's decision, also it would be fun to
wait and watch her as she found out. "How did the amplifier
project go? You were having trouble with the Dolby Pro-logic
circuits last weekend."

Fortunately she started to explain what the problem was
and how she had cured the problem whilst I drove us home. I
knew that my face showed excitement, at the news I
desperately wanted to tell, but I hoped she would think it
was about the move.

I turned in to our avenue and saw that the drive was
empty. Where was Tim? Wasn't he back from the YMCA? The
spare bedroom light was on I hoped Jenny wouldn't notice,
but she did. I explained it off by saying that Tim had
probably left the light on after changing the sheets
earlier. I didn't lie but it was close.

We got out and I opened the front door. The smell of
fresh bread greeted us and Jenny said that it smelled great
and how she could eat a horse. I checked my watch. 15
minutes until dinner, where was Tim?

Heading towards the stairs, with her suitcase, Jenny
said "I'm going to unpack and sort out my washing."

I had to stop her "Don't go!" A reason, I had to think
of a reason. "Dinner will only be a couple of minutes, we
can do it later."

"OK Jo, spill it, what's going on?" She looked at my
face intently. "You've been distracted and something has got
you excited. Jesus! Not another blind date, you swore you
wouldn't put me through that again!"

"No - nothing like that!"

"Well that's a relief. Come on your going to have to
tell me. I'll find out in the end. You can't hide it from
me!"

She hugged me close and french kissed me. Our tongues
entwining. I felt the pop of my skirt button, one hand
slipping in to my blouse, lifting my left breast out of the
bra and tweaking the nipple, the other inside my skirt and
panties, massaging my bottom. Grinding her hips against mine
she released my lips and said "Tell me!"

The sound of a key in the front door saved me. Jenny
tried to remove her hands and pull away, but I hugged her
close. The door opened and there stood Tim and Doug. Tim
smiled and said "Well Doug - that's not a sight you see
everyday.

Jenny blushed to her forehead and started stammering,
embarrassment always made her stammer, "I, I, I wwwas
jjjust..."

Tim laughed closing the door and said "It's a great
idea though." and swept Doug into his arms, pulling him into
a kiss. Doug frantically fought to free himself but when
Tim's lips reached his he gave in and blushed brighter than
Jenny had.

Jenny stared at Tim and Doug, in shock, with me still
holding her tight. I kissed her neck and pulled her face
round and started kissing her. Her mouth opened to allow my
tongue to enter but her eyes were fastened on the men. I
couldn't see what they were doing and twisted us around so I
could see. Doug had relaxed into the kiss and his arms were
around Tim pulling him tight, one hand massaging my
husband's bottom. Tim was pressing their faces together so
tight. I was getting aroused, the sight of Tim and Doug were
exciting me. Jenny twisted me around and she ground her hips
into me with one hand sliding back down under my skirt.

The buzzer on the cooker returned decorum to the hall.
We all stepped apart and I blushed as much as the others.
Tim was trying to stop himself from blushing, lifting his
head as if daring it to happen. It partially worked.

I went in to the kitchen, buttoning up my skirt,
stopped the buzzer and turned off the oven. The heat from
the oven felt as nothing in comparison to my face and neck.
I pulled out the rack of bread and left it to cool. Whilst I
was pulling the bread out I could hear Tim making the
introductions. "Jenny, Douglas Bennett. Doug, Jenny Taylor."

Walking back into the hall I told them all that dinner
was less than 5 minutes away. We walked into the lounge and
Jenny was looking at me for answers. I presume Doug was
doing the same to Tim. The silence was unbearable and both
Tim and I started to speak at the same time. We both smiled
at each other and Tim nodded for me to start.

"Doug, your probably wondering what the hell is going
on." I lost it, how was I going to say this? "I'm bi-sexual
and a few years ago I met Jenny. Tim has no problems with
us, and I hope you don't? I love Tim and Jenny. Just the
same as Tim loves me and you."

Putting a reassuring hand on Doug's thigh Tim carried
on "I couldn't tell you as they had made me promise not to
tell anyone else. With both of them in engineering they
can't afford for this to come out - it would ruin them both.
I did try to tell you that you wouldn't have to go! Don't be
upset - I love you."

Doug smiled and looking at me said "How can I have a
problem, it's only because of you that I can be with Tim."
Facing Tim he carried on "I love you. I now understand why
you were so calm today" His grin grew sly "But I intend to
make you pay for scaring me to death!"

I stood up and said it was time for dinner. The meal
went down well but the conversation was a bit stilted with
most of the conversation between me, Tim and Doug or me, Tim
and Jenny. Hoping that the two of them could come to some
sort of understanding I pushed Tim into doing the drying up
as I washed the dishes. Sending Jenny and Doug out into the
lounge.

Tim and I quietly talked about both of them. I was
worried at how difficult the meal had been. Also with Jenny
coming home how were we going to arrange the beds as we only
had one spare room. Either the study was going to have to go
or we would need to move. Tim wasn't worried over the two of
them getting on together but he agreed the sleeping
arrangements would be difficult.

When we had finished I made the Tea and coffee and we
walked into the lounge. It was empty. Where were they?
"Jenny, Doug where are you?"

Jenny's voice came down from upstairs "We're in the
study." Tim and I both walked up and opened the study door.
Doug and Jenny were both lying on the floor on their
stomachs, feet to the door, overlooking some wiring diagrams
that they had spread out.

Doug was talking "... can't see why. The power surges
should be minimal if the transistors are fast enough,
especially if you use a two stage induction system."

Jenny responded "Well a twin induction system would
work I suppose but it's a lot more expensive. Is the
increase in cost worth the simplification of the circuit."

"Yes it is more expensive but it is simpler and more
reliable. Plus your not relying on somebody else's chip
which will be out of manufacture in two years time."

Tim looked at me as if to say 'I told you so'. His look
of smugness and the relief of seeing the two talking was too
much and I laughed. Jenny and Doug both rolled to their
sides and looked at us.

Over drinks we discussed the last projects that each of
us had done. Doug surprised us all by telling us that his
last project was a personal organiser/computer it used a
Motorola 68HC chip. When he put it in my hands I was
impressed at the size. He said his only failure had been the
power system as it ate batteries. The 68000 computer needed
a steady 3 volt power supply. We all ended up taking it
apart and praising him on the workmanship and design. It was
a lot more complex than most of my students could handle.

I asked how he'd soldered it all as it was incredibly
fine work and he said that he had cheated and had used the
college's flow solder tanks for all but the chips which he
has soldered one pin at a time with a piece of wire fastened
on his soldering iron. He told us that the majority of the
soldering took 5 minutes whilst the chips took 3 days.

Tim asked who did the programming and Doug told him
that the college professor had written it and blown it into
an EPROM for him.

We all asked to see the circuit diagrams and he
produced a disk. We didn't have a copy of MCB Electronics
Lab 4.3 and so we couldn't see them. Doug said he would get
us a copy of it as he would never go back to hand drawing
circuits this complicated again.

By now it was getting late and after a final cup of
coffee we all went to bed. Doug and Tim in the spare, Jenny
and I in the master bedroom.

----------------------------------------

When the bedroom door closed I turned around to walk to
the bed and found Jenny pressing herself up against me
pushing me back against the door. Her lips fastening onto
mine. My arms pinned at my sides with Jenny's tongue diving
deeply into my mouth. The force and passion of the kiss was
heating me up. Jenny pressed harder against me with her legs
between mine pressing outwards. Our breasts flattened with
the force. Jenny started to hunch her abdomen up, rubbing
her mound against mine. Still locked in the kiss, I groaned.
She released one arm and started to run her hand along my
side and down to my skirt, releasing the button. Pulling my
blouse out of the skirt and pushing my skirt down. her hand
then moved up rubbing my belly climbing ever higher. It
reached my bra and slipped over the lacy material rubbing
and arousing me all the more.

The sudden release from the kiss surprised me. Jenny,
her eyes sparkling in the subdued lights, said "I've missed
your face, your body, your love" and with a grin finished "
and your taste!" With that she dropped down pulling my skirt
down to my ankles. her face pressing into my pubes. I
widened my legs and moaned at the feel of her tongue pushing
into my panties one hand massaging my bottom the other high
above her head turning and tweaking one of my nipples.

Standing was becoming difficult the motion of that
tongue was driving me wild. I put my hands down to her head
running them though the fine hair and pulled her head up
into me whilst pressing down on that wonderful mouth.

The climax was closing and the waves of pleasure were
increasing each time that tongue pressed in. I was getting
very wet and I heard Jenny moan. She put both hands on my
hips and started to sink to the floor. I wasn't letting her
go that easily, I was too close, I wanted more. I stepped
forwards supporting Jenny more and more with my hands. Jenny
stayed with me rubbing my mound with her face, the friction
of the wet material on my pussy lips made my legs wobbly and
I lowered myself to my knees. Her mouth still under me.

Her hands released me and suddenly the material between
us was gone. That divine tongue was in me, running along the
lips and then fucking me in and out pushing at the sides of
love canal. I bucked on that mouth and my head lolled about,
my breathing ragged. I wanted to get closer to that feeling,
I quickly pulled my blouse over my head and pulled my
breasts out of my bra and twisted the nipples hard. The
waves were coming faster and lasting longer. Jenny's hands
held my thighs tight down and her tongue flicked my clit and
I moaned. Again and again that tongue caused me to moan and
groan then she pursed her lips around it and started
sucking. Waves coming so fast I couldn't tell them apart,
fingers entered me and pushed me over the edge. I was
cumming and cumming and cumming.....

The orgasms rolled over me one after the other, slowing
down and shaking me like aftershocks. I was hot and weak
with the feelings Jenny had blessed me with. Her hands
holding me upright as I slowly came back down to earth. She
was still under me her face wet with my juices, her tongue
lapped at me again and I couldn't fight it, another climax
rocked through me.

I pulled off her and collapsed on the floor on my back,
breathing hard. Sweat ran into my eyes and stung a little
but I didn't care I was exhausted and radiant with feelings.
Jenny rolled over to me and propped herself on an elbow
looking down at me. "You really taste fabulous!"

I smiled and caressed her wet face. I pulled her down
for a light kiss tasting myself on her and said "I love
you."

As I rested and Jenny was gently rubbing her hand along
my spread thigh a quiet moan drifted across from the spare
room. Another and then a deeper grunt and groan. The sound
of Tim grunting, exactly the same as when he fucks me,
interspersed with higher moans. The tempo of sound increased
as well as the volume. Jenny paused in her stroking, both of
us intent on the sounds of love in the bedroom opposite.
Slowly getting louder and louder, faster and faster, almost
a syncopated rhythm. Then everything went quiet for five or
six seconds, a high pitched moan, almost a scream followed
by silence.

My strength had returned whilst we lay on the floor
listening to Tim and Doug. The sound of their love making
was erotic and the act of listening gave us a vicarious,
almost voyeuristic thrill. Jenny's hand had resumed stroking
whilst we had listened but was now running on my inner
thigh. Fleeting touches of her hand against my pubes was
making me wet again, it was time for me to give Jenny the
attention she craved and deserved.

I told her to get on the bed and she did so with me
crawling over her. I pulled her sweat shirt off and started
to unbutton her jeans. The musky smell of her sex in my
nostrils was pulling at me and I rushed to get her jeans
off. Her cream satin panties following. The darker wet patch
witness to the aroused state Jenny was in. Quickly
unclasping my bra (Jenny doesn't wear one. Oh to be twenty-
four again.) and removing my panties I lay on top of her
chest to chest and thigh to thigh. I kissed her wantonly,
trying to force my tongue down her throat her arms embracing
me as I held her head tight against mine. Rocking back and
forth massaging her body with mine. Jenny moaned into my
mouth and moved her legs apart, her knees bent to raise her
mound to mine. With gravity forcing our mounds together the
feeling intensified. Removing my hands from her head I
lifted myself off her. Grinding together was sending wave
after delicious wave through me and her. I hadn't really
started.

Jenny had her eyes closed, focusing on the feelings I
was giving her. Her neck and top of her chest flushed red in
the excitement. I licked her neck and she pressed her head
further back raising her neck to my continuing assault. I
moved down the bed so my lips were level with those
succulent dark brown nipples. Lowering myself slowly down on
to her I licked a milk white breast spiralling round closer
to the nipple. Nibbling the hard nipple and my other hand
massaging and twisting the other caused Jenny to moan and
rock from side to side. Her eyes still closed, her lips
apart drawing breath unevenly. Licking lower her skin pulled
away from me as Jenny gasped. I pressed my face into her
abdomen swiping my tongue into her belly button caressing
that little outie at the bottom of the hole.

"Please... Please, I can't wait anymore!" Jenny moaned
as she rocked more and more. Her legs getting wider and
wider, a silent invitation to pleasure her in the strongest
terms. I ran a hand through the silky pubic hairs, Winding
them around my fingers I teased her with gentle tugs. She
groaned and whimpered. Widening her legs as far apart as
possible as I ran my tongue down the crevice between thigh
and torso. Jenny's labia and lips open like a flower waiting
for the bee. Resting one hand on her belly I ran the fingers
of my other across her red proud inner lips collecting
moisture for lubrication. Running my tongue up the lips,
tasting the essence of Jenny, I tickled her clitoris with
the tip of my tongue and Jenny shuddered. Pressing by middle
finger against her puckered rosebud. I started to turn and
press the finger in. Licking all around the clit and
touching it frequently was making Jenny pay a toll. Her
humping against my tongue was forcing my finger in, pushing
in further and withdrawing only to enter again.

Glancing up at Jenny's bucking body I saw her hands
kneading and rubbing her breasts lifting one or the other
nipple to her lips. She was close, very close. I pulled my
finger out of her pushed it and my forefinger into her cunt
whilst I sucked on her hard clit. Jenny was panting "Yes ..
fuck me, fuck me." Resting on my elbows I pulled my other
hand down and raised myself to my knees, ready for the
showdown. My tongue was rubbing the tip of her clit whilst I
sucked on it. I pushed both fingers into her puckered
arsehole waiting while it expanded to accept two fingers and
started to finger fuck her. I then plunged three fingers
into her cunt and started to fuck both holes. Jenny was
panting and moaning "Oh.. Oh.. Oh" over and over, grabbing
breath when she could. Increasing the fucking pace of both
hands and increasing the action on her clit was more than
she could handle and Jenny gasped and arched off the bed.
Her arsehole and cunt were gripping and then relaxing.
Juices running copiously on the furiously fucking fingers as
Jenny screamed in one the most intense orgasms I've ever
given her. Holding herself off the bed whilst the climaxes
swept through her she shuddered repeatedly and then
collapsed down with an unconscious sigh.

After regaining control over my own breathing I went
and washed my face, hands and crotch. Rinsing the facecloth
and grabbing a towel I returned and washed Jenny's face and
crotch. (I hate trying to sleep with a sticky face and wet
legs.) Tired and ready for sleep I dropped the towel and
cloth by the bed, climbed in and pulled the duvet over us. I
said "I love you." Even knowing she wouldn't hear, it felt
good to say it. Cuddling her sleeping body I fell asleep.

----------------------------------------

Chapter Four: Trials.

A light knock on the door woke me. I was pressed up
against Doug's back, spooned together, my arm over his
chest. The knock came again and after checking that the
duvet was over us I told who ever it was that they could
come in, trying to be loud enough to be heard and not
wanting to wake Doug.

Joanne came in, dressed in a long striped shirt belted
at the waist (I remembered us searching all the men's shops
looking for a shirt long enough). The sight of her with bare
legs and the top few buttons undone always excited me. It
didn't matter if she wore anything underneath the sight of
bare female legs and a man's shirt always worked. Bending
down over us and me twisting my head allowed us to kiss.

"Good morning, sleepy head - it's past ten. We've been
up for over an hour - I've made your coffee, it's time you
were up. We've got a lot to do today!"

"Give us five minutes and we'll be down."

Joanne nodded and as she turned towards the door and
started out I said "I love you!". She turned and smiled at
the door blowing me a kiss and quietly closed it behind her.

I couldn't believe it! the sight of her dressed like
that had done it to me again. I was getting hard. I had
spent most of the last 24 hours hard and I felt like I was
twenty-one again. No time for that I had to wake Doug and
get up.

I started to kiss Doug's neck and nuzzle into his ear.
"Doug - time to get up!" He stirred and then sighing settled
back pressing himself against me. "Come on - we've got to
get up now."

He stirred again and then his eyes opened for a few
seconds and he then said. "Can't we stay in bed a bit
longer?"

I forced my arm under him and hugged him to me. "I'd
love to stay like this but we have to get up, it's past 10."
I again kissed his neck and his shoulder. A malicious though
slipped in - I hadn't given a love bite in years and the
sudden desire to mark him as mine drove me on. I started to
kiss at the joint of shoulder and neck then licked it as I
settled my lips where I wanted to mark him. I gently started
to suck and Doug hummed with vibration, almost purring.
Increasing the suction I started to move my hands around on
his chest and abdomen, rubbing him and teasing his nipples.
Doug made a long 'oo' sound and settled back even further.
Releasing his neck I checked to see if the mark would stay.
Just a bit more kissing him again around the area I settled
in to suck a bit longer.

It must have started to hurt because Doug pulled away.
"What are you doing?" Jumping out of bed he ran to the
dressing table and looked in the mirror. The deep red mark
showed brightly against his pale skin. Incredulity showing
on his face "A hickey?" He started to grin and then jumped
on top of me. We wrestled about on the bed, struggling to
pin each other on the bed. Both of us aroused and panting
with exertion. Hands that started to seek advantage turned
to seeking pleasure, we both started to become more excited.
Doug's face was above me and we both leaned in to a kiss.
The kiss became more passionate and Doug pulled me into a
sitting position with him sat in my lap, his legs astride
me. Our dicks were pressed together and then Doug wrapped my
arms by my side. He tongued my ear and lightly bit the
earlobe, turning me on even more. Licking down my neck he
ran his lips along my shoulder and neck nipping me gently. I
relaxed into him, enjoying the feelings he was giving me.
Not seeming to stay in any one location he moved backwards
and forwards from my ear to arm. Then suddenly he attached
himself like a limpet and sucked. I struggled to free myself
but before I could, he released me grinning madly. "Gotcha!"

I got up and looked in the mirror. I had a row of
little love bites along my shoulder. Light marks at the end
of the shoulder leading to a bright one at the top of my
neck. The lightest faded as I watched it. Doug put his arms
around me and with his whole heart in his voice he whispered
into my ear. "I love you.". I couldn't be angry with him and
I turned around and kissed him, still embraced in his arms.

"I love you too!" Patting his bottom I continued "Come
on, time for a quick shower, we have work to do." We
separated and I went and used the en suite in Joanne's and
my bedroom. Within 5 minutes we were heading down the
stairs. Doug in a white T-shirt and black jeans and me in a
white short sleeved shirt and blue jeans.

When we went down stairs Joanne was in the lounge
reading a Sunday paper. The shirt had been replaced with a
skirt & blouse, I missed looking at her legs. "I didn't
think you two were going...." Staring at me and then Doug
and back again she burst out laughing. "Jenny get in
here - the kids are up!" Jenny came in from the kitchen,
looked perplexed at Joanne having hysterics and then at our
two faces, she started to giggle as well.

Doug and I blushed in embarrassment and went into the
kitchen for our drinks. A minute later Joanne came in and
with her eyes twinkling with suppressed mirth said "I'm
sorry, but the sight of you to was so funny that I couldn't
control myself." She leaned over me and opened my shirt
collar. "Why so many and why today of all days - Dave is
coming for dinner tonight."

Doug pulled his T-shirt to the side and apologised "I
got carried away, Tim gave me this and I wanted to get
even."

Joanne looked at Doug's love bite and then laughing
"You started it. You haven't done anything so adolescent in
years. Doug I have to thank you, I haven't seen Tim like
this in a long time." Pausing to look at our love bites
again she continued. "Doug's is easy to hide, you'll just
have to wear a shirt over that T-shirt. Tim yours is going
to be harder maybe we can do a makeup job." Laughing again
"Just make sure that you two don't bite each other any
more." As she left the room you could quite distinctly hear
"At least not where anyone can see."

Jenny came in and managed to hold to a smile with out
sniggering. "If you two have finished you drinks I can
finish washing the breakfast things up."

Doug wanted to know what we were doing today. Joanne
told him that Jenny was coming to live with us as well so we
had to clear out the study and get it ready for a bed from
'Ikea', the large Swedish furniture hypermarket. Doug and I
were to go and get the bed ( a sofa bed - the room was to
useful for a permanent bed ). Jenny and Joanne were going to
get the room ready.

----------------------------------------

Joanne had used some makeup to try and hide the love
bite, it didn't really hide it, more of a disguise - a
slight discolouration. Doug and I set off on the 45 minute
journey to 'Ikea'. We sat listening to the Carpenter's mixed
together with some hits of the eighties on the tape player.
Doug asked if I liked any heavy rock music and I replied
that I liked all sorts of music - except modern jazz. I
never could comprehend the idea of listening to four people
play different tunes on different instruments at the same
time. Doug ejected my cassette and replaced it with another.
The sounds of straining electric guitars and a heavy metal
beat thundered out of the speakers making both of us wince
at the volume. Doug turned it down a little - I turned it
down some more. We let it play for a couple of songs (is
that the word).

Exaggerating my distaste I asked "Who is this?"

The reply came back "Metallica - a great thrash band."
Looking at me he asked "You no like?"

I continued the quote "Me no like!" Doug examined the
controls and pressed the reverse button. The god awful
racket was replaced with some more heavy metal but there
seemed to be a melody in it and they weren't strangling
their guitars. It wasn't bad, I could get used to listening
to them, a sort of cross between heavy metal and rhythm &
blues.

We let it play some more. Watching me Doug obviously
interpreted my thoughts. "You like?" I nodded he continued
"The Black Crows. I only have a couple of their albums. I
never seemed to have enough money to buy their tapes."

We drove in a comfortable silence interrupted by the
'Black Crows' and brief snatches of frantic navigation -
usually too late with apologies from either side on the
errors. The road between Warrington and Liverpool was filled
with cars headed for the local theme park 'Gulliver's World'
and we queued to the roundabout for our turn off. The car
park was three quarters full but we easily found a space
with Doug watching his side and me mine.

We had already decided that a sofa bed was the best
temporary solution to our problem as nobody wanted to give
up the study and it really needed some comfortable seating
in there anyway. As Ikea have a few ranges for each season
that don't appear in the catalogue we trekked through the
chair, table and cupboard sections until we got to the beds.
The styles were quite extensive with overstuffed 'bean-bag'
and low 'Japanese' slatted beds. Full reclining types that
used the same cushions or sofas that turned into bed frames
which required mattresses. Space was at a premium so we
chose a low 'Japanese' style with a separate mattress. The
sofa was really a chest / bench seat which stored the
mattress. Doug chose a brightly coloured cushion for the top
of the bench seat. After recording all the numbers of the
items we wanted, we headed into the warehouse section to get
the flat packs.

After waiting at the tills for 15 minutes - I hate
shopping there on Sundays - we got it stacked in the car and
we were off back home with Doug looking at the new
catalogue. The one and a half hour journey there took thirty
five minutes back.

Opening the front door and stacking the packs by the
stairs. We wanted a hot drink badly but Joanne and Jenny
weren't around. I went upstairs and heard moaning from our
bedroom. The sounds were enticing but with Doug downstairs I
decided it wasn't the time - shame though.

I went to make the drinks. Doug wanted to know where
the girls were and when I told him his face broke into a
smirk. After filling the kettle and
getting the mugs out I bent down to get a fresh jar of
coffee and Doug suddenly pressed himself into me with both
of his hands in my groin pressing me against him and said
"If you've got the time, I've definitely got the
inclination!"

I half turned around and found Doug naked as the day he
was born with an almighty erection nestled in the crevice of
my jeans. The sight of him stood there turned me on. I
pressed back into him and then raising myself turned around
and gathered him into my arms. A kiss was what I was aiming
for but Doug had other ideas. Crouching down he started to
unbutton my jeans and I pulled his hands away "Let's go to
bed"

"I fancy it right here and now!" he said huskily and
continued to unbutton my jeans. When I felt his face press
into my boxers and his mouth suck my dick through the
material all thoughts of impropriety fled from the surge of
love and lust. I leant back against the worktops, the warmth
in my
loins rising with the warmth of Doug's mouth enclosing
my head. His hands tickling the hairs on the backs of my
legs. Releasing me for a moment his hands pulled my boxers
down and now I was fully engulfed. Rubbing and kneading the
cheeks of my bottom Doug started to suggest a rhythm that
seemed as natural as breathing and I started to rock back
and forth, his tongue swirling around the head on the
backstroke. The suction, that tongue, the warmth and wetness
were egging me on to drive my dick deeper and faster to
increase the feeling, to climb a little more on that
stairway to Nirvana.

Nervously turning my head around I tried to maintain a
watch as I was in plain view from the house opposite and the
two gardens either side.

A tapping sound came from my left and I turned around
suddenly. Sheila, the pensioner from next door, was tapping
on the bay window. Oh God had we been seen. I stepped over
to the window and Doug released me. The shock had cut
through all thoughts of Doug and his mouth. I leaned over
the kitchen unit and opened up the window. "Oh Hi Sheila,
Sorry I didn't see you for a moment"

Looking down I checked that from her vantage point she
could only see to my chest. Resting on my stomach I hunched
my bottom down.

"Hi Tim, lovely day isn't it. We've just decided that
the roses need a prune before the frosts set in. I see that
you've been to Ikea, you promised to come and see me before
you went again. I could have really done with some of their
coffee." I apologised but she didn't pause for a second.
"You know Jerry really likes their coffee and you can't find
it any where else...."

A sudden draught around my thighs unnerved me and I
rechecked the gardens. No one else was about. Sheila was
still going on about the quality of the shops around the
area declining. Typical for Sheila, she reduced the volume
little by little until she was just whispering, her mouth
exaggerating every word - she used to work in a mill where
there was so much noise that all the women learnt to lip
read.

To be able to comment or reply on what she was saying I
had to watch her lips very carefully. A warm moist feeling
started around my dick and I almost jumped out of my skin.
Doug please not now, I prayed, trying to maintain a
conversation with Sheila. Doug's tongue was pressing and
rubbing in that spot just below the head and even with
Sheila rattling off to me - ten to the dozen, I was 'rising
to the occasion'. Doug was now bobbing back and forth on me
and the cold air from the open window on my wet dick was
torturing me - but I didn't dare move. I yelped slightly
when Doug nipped me half way down and when Sheila paused at
my strange outburst I responded to her in a slightly breathy
voice "Just a twinge in my side."

Sheila then started to tell me what the doctor had said
to her yesterday about her taking care of herself and how
"Mr Robinson - you know the nice old gentleman, who used to
have that shoe shop on the corner of Hall Street, well he's
just got out of hospital after gall bladder problems..."

Just nodding periodically to her, I had completely lost
the flow of conversation. Doug was slowly pulling me towards
coming, fighting against my willpower and the cold air. He
was winning though and I was worried about what was going to
come out - pun intended.

"Well, I can't stand around gossiping all day - got to
get Jerry's tea on. Lamb chops tonight - Jerry's favourite,
three-eighty per pound can you believe it. I remember
when...." Off she went again and I was getting close. I
tried to push Doug off with my knees but I couldn't seem to
find his body and I couldn't look down - not with Sheila
gabbling on and on.

Suddenly a voice called me back from the edge. "Sheila
- come and have a look at this." Oh thank god Jerry was
giving me an out.

"I'm sorry Sheila, but I've got to go...."

Sheila carried on to the end of her sentence and waved
goodbye to me with a "Just remember me next time you go to
Ikea." I promised and closed the window.

I straightened up. I looked down, Doug was bent over
double with the top half of his body in the food cupboard.
His mouth still clamped on to me. "I could really kill you
for that."

Doug released me and with a sly grin said "I told you
I'd get you back." The release of the tension and nerves
made me giggle and I couldn't stay angry. I grabbed him and
pulled him out of the cupboard and slapped his bottom.
"You'd better be in that bed in 10 seconds flat or you're
really going to regret it." Doug laughed and ran off into
the lounge. The sounds of his feet on the stairs only
slightly quieter than that of his laughter.

With a quick check outside through the windows I ran
off after him growling with as much menace as I could
muster.

Closing the bedroom door. I backed up against it and
looked at Doug. He was lying across the bed and on his
stomach. His head propped up watching me. "I'm sorry Tim. I
shouldn't have done it - I could have caused a lot of
trouble. My judgement has gone to pieces - I just love you
so much I can't get enough of you. Please forgive me I won't
push it again."

The fear of what could have been was washed away with
his words and I stepped up to the bed and took off my shirt.
Doug pulled himself along with his arms and swallowed me up
again. I had withheld for so long that he very quickly had
me coming to the point of no return.

I didn't want to cum, not now. I had been thinking of
something I wanted to do but I was a little afraid of. I
wanted to give Doug more pleasure than he had ever received
- I wanted him to enter me, I wanted to join with him. I
wanted him to feel the pleasure he had given me. Before the
climax was upon me I pulled him off me and pulled him up to
a long deep kiss heated with a passion born of love.
Separating slowly I looked into his loving deep green eyes
and whispered "I want you in me. I want you to - fuck me."
The words felt awful and crude against the love I felt.

"God! Tim, are you sure - it hurts at first, I don't
want to hurt you."

"Please, do it please - I need to feel you in me"

Grabbing my head in both hands he pulled me into a very
passionate kiss, trying to suck the tongue out of my head
and I happily tried to give it him. He started to drop down
to the bed pulling me with him. His hands rubbing my back
pulling us together tightly, trying to mould us into one
body, one soul.

Our embrace was a pleasure in itself, that Doug was
holding me as tight as I was holding him. We stayed moulded
together enjoying the caresses that each of us gave. Love is
not a selfish thing, my pleasure rose as much as his with
each tender touch. Rolling me onto my back he pulled his
arms from around me and started to lift his weight off me.

Releasing me slowly from his kiss he pecked at my lips
and then my chin, along my jaw and to my ear. Nibbling me
gently he whispered "I love you, I always will. I'm yours
forever."

Stroking his back and feeling the muscles ripple as he
held his weight, "I love you too."

His kisses changed into little sucks and licks as he
moved down my neck. Watching him attach himself to a nipple,
sucking it and teasing it with his tongue and teeth. His
fine hair the colour of burning embers trailing across my
skin.

He lifted suddenly and then dropped onto my other
nipple, gently rubbing it with his tongue. Pickles of heat
and passion were rising in me and I caressed his shoulders
trying to reciprocate where I could. Pressing his stomach
into my aching hardness he shifted slowly from side to side
licking along my ribs. Each time slightly lower, building
the pleasure I received.

My navel got a tongue lashing as he explored its depth.
Widening my legs and allowing my lover all the access he
wanted, I relaxed into the sublime feelings of love and
passion combined.

Lifting his body from mine, he spoke. I hardly heard
the request, so quietly was it said "Turn over". I rolled
and shifted, feeling his weight settle down onto me, foot to
foot, thigh to thigh and chest to back. Kissing the back of
my neck he rubbed himself against me. I could feel his
erection slip back and forth across my buttocks. Nestling
its way in between.

Coos of pleasure and gasps had been escaping me for
minutes and I felt him move his head to rest it on mine.
"Are you sure you want this? Tim."

There was no going back, it was almost a need "Please
Doug, I need you in me." I pleaded. He raised himself off
me. Long flowing caresses down my back each one slightly
lower than before, guiding our way to the heaven I wanted.

His caresses turned slowly into a massage of my
buttocks, rubbing and rolling them. Fleeting touches of his
fingers in my crack raised my hips automatically. I gasped
at the feel and heat of his tongue at the top of my crack.
Lower and lower that tongue moved, agonising in its
slowness. I nearly lost it when that tongue touched my anus,
the pleasure magnified a thousand times. Dragging my knees
up I raised myself to him. His hands stopped their movement
and grasped my cheeks pulling them apart almost violently as
that tongue pressed in again and again.

Almost a hiss ran from my lips "Oh God! Don't stop." My
hips no longer under conscious control swayed and pressed
back on to that face, that mouth. The tickling feeling
turned to an itching, a need to be scratched, deep.

"Now Doug, -- Now!" His finger was in and I couldn't
stop the rocking, I needed this so badly. His tongue
massaging the outside as his finger pressed in. A light
burning sensation and then the pleasure grew again. Doug now
had two fingers in me. Spasms from my anus feeling those
fingers rotating and thrusting. I was going insane, I was
burning up, my arms stretched out in front scrabbling and
grappling with the duvet trying to get more purchase as I
thrust down on his rotating fingers. The pressure was
building I needed more. "Doug!"

Heat again and a stretching I didn't think I could take
and then relaxing pressure and three fingers. I groaned with
the stretch and then groaned again as his thrusting became
faster and more intense. I was harder than I could remember
and felt as if I'd cum any second. My need to feel him
inside me was growing like a volcano and I knew I was going
to blow.

Like the calm before the storm, his fingers pulled out
and I settled knowing what was coming and wanting nothing
more in the world. Pressure then a sliding, rubbing coupled
with a stretching twinge, he was in. I relaxed my arms and
let my chest lie on the bed as I moaned "Yes. Yes!"

A fullness swept through me as I relaxed with my lover
on top. A joining almost spiritual in its purity. He was now
a part of me as I felt a part of him. Slowly he slid in inch
by inch, I could feel the head moving its way inward. The
heat of his thighs and abdomen and the feel of his pubes at
my crack as he pressed against me told me he was fully in.

I tried to start a rocking motion against him but Doug
held my hips. Groaning "Don't move, not yet. God! Tim -
you're so tight and hot. Don't move I nearly lost it." We
waited and I could feel my body relaxing around him. 10, 20,
30 seconds. I couldn't stand it any more I started to rock
back and forth, a little at a time, my anus rubbing out and
then in. Doug didn't stop me and the feeling was incredible,
addictive, I had to move further, faster.

Doug started to move back as I went forward and then
both of us crashing together. Faster and faster, harder and
harder, I could feel something building inside of me,
slowly. The need to come, to pee, to shit, I didn't know but
I wasn't going to stop.

Doug lowered himself on my back his hands rubbing up my
chest. Rolling me to the side he never stopped his thrusts
although they now lacked the power I needed.

Before I could moan at the loss of the feeling, a
lightening strike of ecstasy passed through me. Again and
again it happened. I could feel the pressure growing inside.
My balls were growing tighter, higher. I was going to cum.
The feel of his lips and tongue on my neck and that white
lightening strike boiled me over. I was cumming.

I groaned "Doug" unable to finish as he gasped and then
pressed deep. His rod flexing and throbbing inside of me. We
both came, me wrapped in his arms trembling, every nerve
tingling and Doug buried inside of me. I felt his first
blast, a soothing warmth spreading from him to me. The feel
of him cumming inside of me kept my orgasm going. Second
after second of harmonious ecstasy and tension and then a
soft sliding in to peace.

Relaxing together we wrapped our legs together and
rested. Tiredness, and sleep stole over us, I was worn out
with the heat of passion spent. Doug whispered his love in
my ear as I relaxed into his arms and we both drifted off to
sleep.

----------------------------------------

I awoke to a gentle rubbing of my hips and thighs. Doug
was spooned behind me running his fingers down my side.
"Wake up my love, we've been called down,. There's only a
couple of hours before dinner."

I rolled over and held Doug in my arms. I didn't really
want to get up but I knew I had to. "Thanks beautiful!"

Doug looked puzzled for a second and then love
blossomed in his eyes and he kissed me soundly on the lips.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" At the shake of my head his
smile grew to a grin. "That was my first time too."

As I raised myself from the bed I could feel twinges in
my back and a nagging complaint from my abused hole. Even
with those feelings the memory of the event and the feelings
it generated made me smile "It wont be your last, I loved
it."

Doug got up and gently pulled me into his arms and
kissed me in a lingering soft kiss filled with love.

Time was against us, we had to clean up and get ready.
I gently broke the kiss. "Come on, we've got to get ready."
Separating I backed away and opening the door quietly I
checked the landing. "It's all clear. You take the bathroom
and I'll use the en suite."

Doug grinned "I'd prefer to be together, but I guess
your right, if I'm with you I wont be able to stop."

With a quick smile back at him I dashed across the
landing.

----------------------------------------

Chapter Five: Truths.

The table was set, Dave's arrival was imminent. I was
nervous, would Dave pick up on the change in me. We had
known each other for years, he was the only other person who
knew about Joanne and Jenny and now there was me and Doug.

The rat-a-tat rhythm from the door announced Dave's
presence at the door. Joanne stood with me her arm around my
waist as I opened the door and smiled.

Dave stood there facing up the street, his profile lit
up by the porch light. His raven hair glossy blue in
reflection from our hall light. He turned and smiled almost
a grin. "Hi Joanne, Tim."

Together we said "Welcome!" and he entered at our
ushering and I closed the door.

"Hell, it's nippy out there, I don't know how those
kids up the street can play in shirt sleeves." He took off
his leather jacket and hung it on the banister. "Damn, I
forgot the wine, it's in the car." Searching his jacket
pocket for his car keys he smiled as I heard the jingle of
the large ring of keys. "I'll only be a mo!" and he slipped
back out of the door.

Joanne went back into the kitchen and thirty seconds
later he entered again and shut the door behind him. "Here
it is." and he then handed me a large bottle.

"Champagne?"

I turned and he followed me into the lounge. "Well, we
have to celebrate, you finally beat me at squash!" he
grinned again. It was infectious and I grinned back.

"Didn't we do enough celebrating on Thursday, my head
was pounding Friday."

"You're getting old, we used to sink a hell of a lot
more than that years....." At his pause, I looked up at him,
he was looking puzzled at Doug. Doug looked nervous and shy.

"Oh my, let me introduce you. Dave Coulson, Doug
Bennett." Dave's eyes widened and then he looked sharply at
me.

Dave walked over to Doug who stood up. "Hi, just call
me Dave - you'll get to know me over the next few weeks
anyway." as he offered his hand. Doug shook his hand and
responded so quietly I didn't hear it but I watched his lips
move 'hi'.

Turning to the sofa Dave said "Hi Jenny, back from
London."

"Hi Dave, Yeah, but I wont have to travel much longer."

Laughing he bantered "Oh you're finally leaving that
bunch of nerds, going to get a proper job?"

Jenny grinned and started "Oh at least I do my job
better than you do yours, I know about managers, running off
to meetings, delegating work - off loading it, I call it."

I watched Doug as Jenny and Dave bantered back and
forth, he looked alone and unsure of his place. Watching
wide eyed as Jenny and Dave gave each other as good as they
got! Joanne reappeared from the kitchen. "Dinner will only
be a few minutes. Doug, we have a tradition in this house
that the guest carves the roast and" Smiling she raised her
voice to clear the lounge "as Tim and Dave are complete
incompetents with a carving knife. I've decided to let you
carve."

Grinning Dave turned around, looked at me and then
faced Joanne. "Me! incompetent! Tim I agree, but I can't be
incompetent"

Laughing and walking over to him, Joanne crisply
returned "Yes - you. Don't you remember last weeks bird.
I've never had roast chicken served in chunks before."

"Chunks! - Huh, well I know when I'm insulted. Here I
am quite happy to eat YOUR food." Grinning widely he
continued "I don't have to stay here and be insulted, I've
got hundreds of people willing to insult me elsewhere."

Joanne stepped into his arms, pulled his head down and
kissed him on the forehead. "You nut!"

Dave put his arms down by his side and looking at the
floor "Yes Mother!"

Joanne laughed and pushed him away, Dave rocked back,
lost his balance and windmilling his arms ended up sitting
on the sofa, laughing.

Walking back to the kitchen, she pulled Doug up out of
his seat, "Come on it's your turn to carve."

When Joanne and Doug had left the room Dave looked
quizzically at me. I filled in a few missing blanks. "We
talked late on Friday, he lost his room at the YMCA so we're
putting him up."

"YMCA, doesn't he live with his parents?"

"He's an orphan."

His face dropped. "Oh!" Then smiling at me he
continued. "You always had the soft heart."

"Yeah, I guess, but for God's sake be light on him, he
isn't used to this and it scares him."

"OK, I hear you."

A shout from the kitchen put the conversation to an
end. "Tim - it's time to put things out on the table."

"I'm on my way!" Turning to face Jenny and Dave "Why
don't you two sit down, we'll only be a second."

Dinner was a comfortable affair, Doug lightened up and
Dave gave him opportunities to get in a little banter,
although he rarely took them up.

Watching them relax with each other, find out how each
other ticks. I thought of the first time I met Dave.

----------------------------------------

The day I started work at British Aerospace, Hawker
Siddley as it was then. I remembered the factory gates
looming large with a group of ten or eleven kids, just like
me, stood outside. Indicating right I pulled up at the
gates, on my brand new moped, and a hulk of man in a
security uniform took my name and showed me where to park.

It is always the little things that haunt you, I
remembered being worried about leaving my helmet and
leathers not three yards away from a manned security
station.

Over the next fifteen minutes the group of apprentices
increased to over thirty and all the names had been ticked
except one. We were led across to the main factory and
through the main hanger. Large aircraft in different states
of assembly ran in rows down a hanger over a 1/4 of a mile
long.

The shout of "Fresh meat" and "Schoolies" made us all
nervous and extremely watchful of the men in pale blue
boiler suits working around us. We walked through some fire
doors and up some stairs to a fairly small off white (faded)
office with a secretary at a desk and one of those half
glass doors with the top half frosted. There were about 10
chairs lining the walls and the pecking order began to
assert itself.

Now I'll admit it, I was raised being told not to fight
and to be good and to work hard. I had never fought at
school, not even the rough and tumble that most kids go
through. Due to this I had been a prefect at my first school
and then got a scholarship to a public school some miles
from home. These things ostracized me from the normal
relationships that kids grow up in, and in this room I was
fairly low in the pecking order.

We filled in forms and passed through the door to sign
the 'Official Secrets Act' and our contracts of employment.
Then we trogged one by one over to 'Surgery' for a physical.
In a white painted brick room an elderly doctor and a
matronly nurse prodded and probed, "Breathe into this",
"Push that", "Stand up, cough - cough". The usual except
that I'm in open view of at least 3 other apprentices and
one fitter from the shop floor with a cut hand.

Back to the little office and pick up a requisition for
a boiler suit (dark blue) and off to the apprentice training
school. A prefabricated building full of machines and work
benches. Our work place for the next year.

Five men in white coats with blue collars separated us
out into groups by alphabetical order and took us to their
sections. Mr. Creavy - sheet metal, Mr. Robinson - fitting,
Mr. Rome - electrical, Mr. Bailey - milling and finally Mr.
Norcross - turning (lathe work).

Each work bench had four vices fitted near each corner
and we all were assigned one except the one in front of me
as that was "Coulson's". For the next 2 weeks I worked alone
surrounded by people going about the same business. You
could talk to the person opposite you on the bench but not
to the ones to the side or the foreman would pick up the
increase in volume and stop the talking. At the end of each
day it was rush to get out of there, all vanishing to
different points of the compass.

If the first week was hard on my feet - you had to
stand for eight hours and there weren't any chairs except
the foremen's. It was even harder on my sleep patterns as I
had to be up at 6:30 in time to make it to work, I could
sleep through a nuclear holocaust never mind the alarm clock
- I was late twice.

The work was filing this piece of metal to that shape
or this shape and then marked A-C for accuracy and 1-3 for
quality and finish. Your score marked up on a board fastened
to the front of the foreman's desk. The second week was more
of the same and then it all changed.

Monday of week three Dave Coulson arrived. About 6',
slim with a ready smile, slightly bent roman nose with raven
hair almost midnight blue in colour. He'd been on holiday
with his family in Australia for a month and you could tell
by his tan. I was given the job of taking him around the
place and go to Industrial Relations, Surgery and show him
about.

He didn't seem nervous like I was the first day and we
talked as I took him across the "shops". He told me about
some of his holiday and how he'd got permission to start
late. I can't remember everything he said but I do remember
the tone and the emphasis. Here we were, we'd never laid
eyes on each other before and not fifteen minutes later he
was talking to me like I was his best friend.

Over the intervening years we had grown into good
friends, Dave had been best man at our wedding. He was now
my boss, but our friendship spanned that and although we
seemed to go through life having our ups and downs. We were
still good friends.

----------------------------------------

A hand waving in front of my face dragged me back from
my reverie. "Where were you!" It was Dave, a smile on his
face. All the others were silent watching me.

"Oh! Nothing really, just miles away."

"Go on, I'd like to hear what dragged you away from my
scintillating conversation, and put a smile on your face."
He grinned at me - he had the charm of the devil.

"I don't know really. I was just thinking about my
first day at Hawker's"

"Hell's teeth, what brought that up, that's ancient
history."

Doug interrupted. "I'd like to hear about it."

Dave carried on as if he hadn't heard him "How many
years is it - September the fourth 1978."

"Hah! It was August the fourteenth for me - you were on
holiday in Australia."

"I was, wasn't I, Jesus that's nineteen years ago. God
I feel old."

"Do you remember Jimmy Norcross, the only man to ever
smell thousandths of an inch. He'd walk up to you after you
just turned the job and he'd run his hand over the job,
flick them under his nose." I put on a Yorkshire accent and
rubbed my fingers under my nose "You're two thou under there
lad."

"And the bugger would be right." We both laughed.

We carried on and Doug prized the start of our
friendship and a lot of memories out of us.

----------------------------------------

Dave had gone home and it was getting late. We still
hadn't set the new bed up from Ikea so we were splitting up
on the landing.

Standing in the middle of the landing I hugged Joanne
and kissed her. We caressed each other and kissed deeply.
"God, I love you. Sleep well."

"Tomorrow, you have to make that bed. I want to sleep
in your arms."

"I will do, love - I want it also."

"Explain it to Doug, he'll need reassurance just like
Jenny did." I nodded and pecked at her lips. She separated
from me and whispered 'I love you' as she stepped into their
bedroom."

Sighing, I walked in to Doug's room.

Doug was already in bed, lying on his side, the covers
pulled up to his chest. His head propped up on one hand. His
eyes twinkling as I took off my robe.

I got in and pulled the covers back over us. Rolling
over to face Doug I traced his face with my fingertips as he
tried to follow with his mouth and kiss them.

"Doug, we need to talk."

His face dropped like a stone and looking at me
uncertain and vulnerable. "Have I done something wrong?"

My response a smile and "No - my love." relaxed him and
he smiled laying his head on the pillow, his hand caressing
the hairs on my chest. "I just want you to understand that
tomorrow night I wont be here in this bed with you."

"Why - Where are you going?"

"I'm not going anywhere." Talking to myself I rolled on
to my back "Why is it difficult to explain - just say it."

"Say what?"

"Tomorrow, I'll be in bed with Joanne. I love her as
well." Turning back to face him I saw his eyes starting to
brim with unshed tears. I pulled him in to an embrace. "I
love both of you, I need you to share me with Joanne. I can
only be with you, like this, half of the time."

He hugged me tight and I felt his tears running down my
chest. "I do love you Doug, but I also love Joanne, I don't
want to hurt either of you."

"I understand, I love you too, It's just that I'll be
lonely without you."

"You silly goose, We're one now - a part of each other
- forever." I lifted his chin and kissed his tears away.
"You can't be alone ever again." I kissed his pale lips
softly, pressing my body against his.

Stroking his hair from his brow I pulled back and
looked at his face. His eyes flickering from side to side.
His eyes dropped from mine to my lips and back again.
Pulling my head down to his he said "I love you. Joanne
loves you too. I'll try not to be jealous" and then he
kissed me hard, his lips parting and his tongue thrust into
my mouth. I rolled him on to his back, and closed my eyes,
my lips and tongue as active as his.

I could feel his arousal as his cock got longer and
thicker. Mine was getting there too and we started to slowly
hump and press together still connected by the kiss.

Pulling away from him I lay on my back. "God you've
done it to me again!"

Smiling he leaned over me and kissed my lips, lingering
and then pulling back he smiled and said "Look what I've
found." As he grabbed my cock. "Mmm I think I know what to
do with that." There was flurry under the bed clothes and a
sharp greasy coldness surrounding me.

"God Struth, what the hell!" I pulled back the cover
and discovered an open jar of Vaseline and a very greasy
dick - mine. "Damn that's cold."

"Well I know a place to warm it."

I rolled on to him. "Now I wonder what that is.. I spy
with my little eye, it's something that begins with..." and
I stroked him. He giggled, widening his legs as my strokes
reached his hot, already greasy hole. "Oh you thought of
that already, well how about this." I centred myself on him
and he sighed as I entered. Slowly pressing in deeper and
deeper until all of me was surrounded by hot, moist gripping
walls. Reaching over, I turned the bedside lamp off. "Now
what do I do, I can't quite remember." Doug wrapped his arms
around me, kissing and giggling at the same time.

----------------------------------------

Over the next week things settled down a little,
sleeping with Doug and Joanne on alternate nights. I felt
guilty about leaving Joanne alone but she didn't seem to
resent Doug. I had tried to talk to her a couple of times
but she shushed me and said that she was happy that I was
happy.

The only problem we'd had was hiding the TV remote,
Doug hadn't really had access to a TV and he loved to
channel hop. I would be sitting in the middle of the sofa
with Doug one side and Joanne on the other, both snuggling.
Then Doug would flip the channel and there would be a free
for all. Joanne and I would attack him trying to get the
remote back. Doug would be laughing whilst Joanne would try
to get the remote as I restrained and tickled him.

Work carried on as always keeping me stretched,
interested and active.
Doug was due to join us in a couple of weeks although at
times I had doubted we'd ever get him placed. First there
were problems with the training school as Doug would
officially be working for Dave and not them. Then wages
complained at paying 24 weeks wages for somebody. Finally
Security insisted on doing a full background check as our
department covered Ministry of Defence work as well.

The great news had been Jenny's. Joanne wouldn't have
to sleep alone for much longer because things were moving
faster at Jenny's works and she would be finishing in London
this week, for a couple of weeks whilst they moved to
Oldham.

The sleeping arrangements had pretty much been the
constant topic of conversation for the last night or so,
Joanne and Doug fancied moving to a bigger house as soon as
possible where as I wanted to take our time looking.
They had me pretty much convinced and I knew that after
Jenny returned that I would be out manoeuvred, outvoted and
agreeing by the end of the night.

I came as close to happiness as anyone can that week,
work was enjoyable, frustrating at times but with a job
satisfaction that more than made up for it. Full of variety,
when I drove into work I never had a clue what I'd be doing
twenty minutes later.

Even the sports with Dave on Thursday night had been
good. He hadn't suggested a change of sport and we played
squash at the leisure centre. I lost the match but only by a
couple of points, but I held him off for a long time - our
best of three turned into one very long match. We even got
applauded by the players who had booked the court after us.

My home life was split with two people loving me
unconditionally with no antagonism or arguments, not caring
if the other saw us kissing or cuddling. Sex out of this
world - I honestly hadn't got a clue where I had been
getting the stamina from.

I should have suspected that it couldn't last, nothing
ever does. It felt like I had six days of Heaven and then
came Hell.

Friday night whilst Joanne was out getting Jenny from
the railway station for the last time, Doug and I were
preparing the evening meal. We had decided to celebrate our
family coming together with 4 large steaks and I was peeling
potatoes and passing them to Doug to chip them.

Doug had put some light rock music on the stereo and he
was quietly singing along with it. There was knock on the
door and I dried my hands and went to answer it.

It was Dave. He was dressed in blue jeans and a grey
sweat shirt, a bit unusual for him. His ready smile was also
missing.

"Oh Hi Dave., what's up?"

"Hi Tim, can I have a word with you."

"Sure come in. Joanne's gone to railway station, she'll
be sorry she missed you."

As I led him to the lounge, I thought it was a good
time for me to tell Dave about me and Doug, he already knew
about Joanne and Jenny. I had been building my nerve to tell
him on Thursday after the match but we had been playing so
long that he had to leave straight after the shower and I
didn't get to talk to him. Joanne, Jenny and myself were due
to go to his house for a meal on Saturday.

"I know, I waited for her to leave, I wanted to have a
private talk."

"I'm glad you came Dave, I've got things I need to talk
to you about too."

Dave turned to face me, his face serious "Let me talk
first please. I know you'll have questions but please don't
interrupt me or I'll never get it out."

He seemed so uptight and serious that I nodded and sat
on the sofa. Dave sat next to me never looking at me he
started.

"Tim, we've known each other since we both started at
Hawker's." he got up and started pacing the room almost
talking to himself "I've tried to say this so many times.
God how I wanted to but I couldn't." he paused for a second,
two three. "For years you've really been the only real
friend I've got and I hope you don't take this wrong. I
thought about this so much - too much, but I can't hold it
in any longer." He turned to face me. "You know I never got
married?"

I started to answer but he cut me off "Of course you
do." Looking up in the air "Dave talk sense." Finally
looking at me he seemed to make a decision, an air of
resignation hung around him. "I know you know I'm not
married, but you don't know why." He seemed to finish but I
didn't respond, he'd tell me. "I've always said I never
found the right girl, but to be honest, I've never looked
either."

He sat down again and leaning back he closed his eyes.
"I remember things so well. Do you remember college?" It was
hard trying to follow him what he was getting at.

Breathing deeply he carried on. "I remember college so
clearly. The college we went to was in my home town. You
were staying with your grandparents, who lived nearby,
during the weeks at college. Phil, Doug and Crash ( I never
understood that name ) all commuted daily. In the evenings
just you and I would both go out to the Nelson and have a
few drinks and talk."

"Because it was just you and I and we talked more about
ourselves, opening up to each other - not completely though. We
quite often got a bit more than a light buzz and we'd support
each other on our way to your grandparent's house. We would
both do our homework and we would both help each other out at
work. Each night I would say goodnight and then go home happy
that I'd been with you."

He seemed lost in his thoughts as he spoke and I leaned
back remembering those long gone days.

"I saw you practically every day, between 8 to 10 hours a
day and we were damn near inseparable. I knew it was wrong,
evil, I just couldn't help myself, whilst we talked, walked,
played or worked I'd look into your eyes and sink. I fell in
love with you!".

I looked up at him, he still had his eyes closed, deep in
remembrance, a smile on his face.

"And it happened so slowly that I only knew it when you
told me you were getting married to Joanne. I cried myself to
sleep for a few nights until I became resigned to it. God, was
it hard being happy for you both, smiling and helping with your
plans, helping to decorate this home and then you asked me to
be your best man."

Tears were leaking from his closed eyes and I wanted to
comfort him some how but I couldn't. He was strung as tight as
a bow string, if I touched him I knew he'd break.

"I tried to go out with girls but it just didn't work. It
wasn't that I wasn't attracted to them, the trouble was fear. I
knew I loved you, therefore I was queer, could I perform? Would
they laugh? I had nobody I could talk to - my parents would
never have understood. God remember my dad!"

"Twenty going on twenty-one and still a virgin. I had
already turned down offers of fucking a girl. Heavy petting was
as far as I had been. I learnt to extricate myself from the
situations where it was a possible outcome. Apart from work and
you I became more insular and introverted than before I had
started work."

"The night of the stag do I was responsible for making
sure you got home safely. I even arranged a stripping telegram
- do you remember. You trusted me not to mix your drinks - God
did I get you plastered. Everybody got plastered - except me. I
didn't dare get drunk to insensibility like all the others. I
was afraid I'd let something slip and ruin my friendship. I got
tipsy but kept in control."

"We all walked home from the club, the numbers slowly
dwindling till there was just the three of us, Phil, you and
me. Phil was staying at your house just like me. When we got to
the house there was a two seater sofa, a spare bed and the
double in the master bedroom. Remember how fat Phil was? I took
the sofa and Phil the spare bed."

"It was warm that night and I stripped off to my boxers
and covered myself with a sheet. The sofa was too short and I
couldn't get comfortable. In the end I gave up on the sofa and
slept on the floor. I don't know what time it was but it was
still dark when you tripped over me."

"You were still drunk but said you needed a drink
from the kitchen. God did you cuss me something chronic for
being on the floor and said if I had been uncomfortable I
should have woken you up and we could have shared the bed."

"When you turned the kitchen light on I nearly died - you
were naked and boy did that get to me! I had to look and not
look. Watching the man of my dreams and the one I loved and
lusted after acting totally blase about his nudity and me
getting hard and hoping my boxers hid it.

"After getting your drink you turned off the lights
without looking at me, thank God! And then insisted that we
share the double as you weren't having your best mate sleeping
on the floor when there was a perfectly good bed there. God was
I terrified, we both got in the bed and faced away from each
other."

"That night was one of the hardest and most tortuous
nights I have ever had. Sleep - I didn't get any! You were
lightly snoring and I could hardly breathe. You then rolled
over and spooned yourself into my back. I was harder than a
rock and I needed to move but the feel of your warmth , your
cock resting in my crack and the feel of your warm breath
against my neck were divine. I couldn't handle the feel and
nearly shot my wad a few times when our bodies rubbed as you
moved about in your sleep."

"There is a kind of pain that is excruciating and wondrous
at the same time, like a loose tooth or an insect bite that
needs scratching. That is the closest I can come to what that
night was like. You know it'll hurt but you just can't resist."

The last song on the CD faded away as Dave finished his
story.

"Joanne found us together the next morning and played it
to the hilt and you and I jumped apart and played the macho
bullshit back and forth. I think that was the start of the
mask. The mask I've been wearing now for over 15 years."

The tears down his face were now running freely and I
grabbed him to me as he sobbed into my shoulder.

"I'm sorry Tim if you can't accept it but I've kept it
bottled up for too long. I loved you then and I still love you
now. I nearly told you when you told me about Jenny but I
couldn't."

What was I to do. I loved Dave - but as a friend. I
couldn't tell him about Doug, not now. I needed time to think.

Separating from him I got and headed for the kitchen "I'll
get us a drink, I think we need one."

Doug was by the door looking out of the crack. I closed
the door and started getting the drinks. Doug wrapped his arms
around me, tears on his cheeks He whispered into my ear "Christ
Tim, what are we going to do?"

I held him to me, my tears wetting his orange gold hair.
"I don't know."

A shout of "God No!" made us turn. The door was wide open
and then the front door slammed shut. Before I could get the
door open I heard a car rev up and leave.

----------------------------------------

Chapter Six: Friends.

I got the front door open to see Dave's blue Vauxhall run
down the road and turn at the bottom of the road. "Damn, damn,
damn." I turned to get my keys and coat, I'd have to follow
him, God knows what he'd do."

Doug was stood in the hall "What are we going to do?"

"I'm going after him, I haven't got a clue after that. I
just can't leave him like this?"

Doug turned and opened the closet "I'll get our coats"

"You've got to stay here and tell Joanne and Jenny what's
happened. I don't know what time I'm going to be back. They
have to know."

"But--"

I grabbed him by the shoulders. "Doug, you can't come. It
has to be me - alone."

Doug wrapped his arms around me "OK. But for God's sake
take care, he could do anything!"

I grabbed my coat, my keys off the tidy above the phone
and was out the door. Starting my car I looked at the petrol
gauge, I was supposed to fill it tomorrow, a quarter of a tank.

I tried everywhere I could think of. His house, the local
pubs, his parents, work. I even tried the Nelson and the
Students union bar, nothing. Neither sight nor sign.

Filling up at a Texaco near the college, I tried to think
of places I'd missed, places he'd go but I came up empty. It
was true that we'd been friends for years but apart from work
and the games. That was it - the leisure center, the only place
my mind could come up with.

After paying I was out of there like a shot. Right towards
Edgley, down to Adswood and left for Bramhall. Traffic was
building, "Bugger". I could see it at a standstill further up.
Short cut time. Left to Hazel Grove, right to the A34 and down
the A6. "Shit" more traffic.

I was getting frantic, traffic was building. Six o'clock
and it was murder, would Dave be there, What would I do. Thank
God, I got past the roundabout for the Shopping Giant, traffic
was freer. Hold your speed, there are speed cameras all over
the place. Right towards Davenport, and left onto Bramhall
lane. There's the leisure center.

Up and down the car park, lane after lane. I went looking
for his car, nothing! "Where now!", my mind was blank. Back to
his house - my only option.

----------------------------------------

He'd been gone two hours and I just waited, constantly
going through re-runs of what had happened in my head.

The latch of the passenger door lifting surprised me. It
was Joanne. "I thought I'd find you here."

"I couldn't find him. God, Joanne if anything's happened."

She pulled me into her arms. "Tim, I'm afraid Dave's had
an accident." I stared into her eyes, lost, not breathing,
waiting for the `He's dead', I knew it was coming. "He's in
Stepping Hill, he's broken some bones. I didn't get the full
story. His dad was called in by the coppers.

Relief flooded through me. "Thank God - he's alive."

"Come on I'll drive us there, just leave your car here.
We'll pick it up later. First we need to talk." She got out of
the car and I numbly followed. After locking the car, she
guided me to a low dry stone wall. Sitting down next to her I
tried to get my thoughts in order.

"What are we going to do Joanne. He said he's loved me
since we were apprentices. What am I going to say to him."

"Tim, what are your feelings about Dave."

"Joanne, what are you getting at? I think I love him - as
a friend." I took a deep breath. "I don't know, I thought I
did. I've known him so long, he's my oldest friend. Tonight has
just thrown that all up in the air."

"Well, Doug, Jenny and I have talked about this and we see
only one option."

----------------------------------------

As I entered the ward I could see Dave sat on his bed, a
small draw sheet bundled over him like a nappy. His left leg in
plaster from the just below his hip down and his right forearm
was covered in a brown plaster. He was reading a magazine.

I collected my thoughts. Last night he'd been drowsy and
out of it after all the pain killers but today we'd have to
talk. I turned back and went to see the ward sister.

"Sister, can I have a word."

"Certainly, Mister --?"

"Preston, Tim Preston"

"Oh yes, sorry things got a little hectic last night. What
can I do for you?"

"It's about Dave Coulson. Last night you said that he was
being released today."

"Yes, that's right, The Consultant cleared him about 10
minutes ago. I was about to call his father and ask him to pick
him up, We could really use the bed, there's someone in
casualty that could use it."

"I'll take him home." I raised my hand showing a carrier
bag "I've brought him some clothes, Dave's dad has only got a
Mini and I don't think Dave could get in it."

"Right, that would be great. Where's your car parked."

"Near Reception."

"Oh, that's too far for him to walk, I'll get you a wheel
chair."

"Thanks."

As she left down the corridor, I straightened my
shoulders, breathed in and went to see Dave.

He looked up as I approached his bed. I saw several
emotions play across his face, as I walked closer, before it
settled into an unreadable neutral. I broke the silence. "Good
morning." Moving a pair of crutches from the end of the bed I
sat down at the foot.

"Morning Tim. Look I'm sorry about last night, I shouldn't
have said -- what I said. I'd just like things to return to
normal, just being friends." He didn't look into my face,
everywhere else but my face.

"Your still my friend. If that's how you want to play it
then that's how it will be." He looked at me and seemed
relieved. "Right! Now, it's time we got you out of here and
home. I've brought you some of my sweat shorts and shirts, they
should fit you. The sister has gone for a wheel chair." I
dropped my carrier bag on the bed. "I'll pull the curtains
around to give you a bit of privacy."

I pulled the orange mottled curtains around the rail,
isolating him from the rest of the ward and waited. A minute or
so later a pleading heavy whisper came through the curtains "Ur
Tim, can you help me, I'm a bit stuck."

Pushing my head through I saw Dave, bent almost double,
struggling to get his plastered leg through the leg hole of the
shorts. Bending down I threaded them over his foot and pulled
the shorts up into his hand. Stepping out of the curtains I
heard a quiet "Thanks"

It was only about twenty seconds later that I heard a
chuckle. "What is it?"

"I don't think this is going to work." I popped in and saw
what he meant. He'd pulled the shorts up but the leg hole was
too small for the top of the plaster.

I went in search of a nurse. "Um excuse me but could I
borrow your scissors, a friend of mine is having a little
trouble with some clothing."

"Which patient?"

"Dave Coulson. Bed number" I turned and looked at the
curtains. "The one with the closed curtains."

"Oh right." And she waltzed off right through the
curtains. With me rushing after her.

"Oh Mister Coulson, it's not as if I didn't know what one
is, It's not as if I hadn't seen one before. I see them almost
everyday, it isn't anything new, you know.

I couldn't help it I laughed. Dave was beet root red,
frantically trying to cover himself as the nurse was bent over
trying to cut the inside seam on the shorts.

"I'll get you for this Tim." He laughed.

"Don't blame me, I only asked to borrow her scissors."

"Hell's Bells. Two grown men acting like a couple of
kids." As she strode off, the curtains fluttering after her.

The scissors were left on the bed and I picked them up and
said in a fake German accent "Lie back zis izn't going to
hurt." As I snipped at fresh air.

"Just watch it, will you, I'm trusting you here."

"Oh for God's sake don't worry." He leaned back and
allowed me access at his shorts. A few snips later and his
shorts rode over the plaster. Dave hastily pulled them up. He
then pulled the shirt from the bag and pulled his arms through
it. He couldn't do up the buttons as the thumb ridge in his
plaster kept getting in the way.

"Jesus, I feel helpless, some times I wish I'd been left
handed. Tim can you do them up.

"No problem."

After doing up the buttons I pulled the curtains back and
went looking for the sister. She was back in her office,
talking on the phone. I waited patiently by the door. She saw
me, smiled and after saying something cupped the mouthpiece and
pointed to the room opposite.

I pushed open the door and saw the red painted, tubular
framed wheelchair. It looked pre-war with steel studs fastening
the antiquated leather seat and backrest. A peeling label
attached to the back stated `Property of Stepping Hill Hospital
- Return to Reception." Pulling it out I wheeled it over to
Dave's bed. "Your chariot awaits."

Dave pulled himself over and down into the wheelchair. His
leg stuck out so I fathomed out the foot rest. Rotate it here,
screw that up and swing that over. Bingo! Dave lifted his leg a
fraction as I swung in the bar and let his leg drop.

"Better! Got everything?"

"Yeah, No - my keys and wallet, there in the cabinet." I
opened the cabinet and pulled out a plastic bag and dropped
them in his lap. "Thanks, that it. Lets get out of here, home
James and don't spare the horses."

I passed him his crutches and started to push him out of
the ward and then remembered the scissors. "Hold on Dave, I've
got to return the scissors." I went in search of the nurse but
couldn't find her. She may have been behind the curtains which
covered a couple of beds, but I wasn't going looking.

We stopped at the sisters office. "Ah Mister Coulson,
ready to go. Now remember in six weeks we want to see you with
your arm and maybe five weeks after that with your leg. No
driving, Don't get your leg plaster wet, the arm doesn't matter
it's fiberglass. No weight on that leg and that's an order."

I was surprised "Eleven weeks?"

"Yes eleven weeks. That's if there are no complications."

"Oh Sister by the way, we borrowed a pair of scissors from
one of your nurses and I can't find her to return them."

"That's OK, just give them to me and I'll return them -
which nurse was it?"

"A blonde, just shorter than me wearing a cream uniform."

"OK, I'll return them."

"Many thanks and Bye."

Dave shook her hand and said thanks and we were off.

My Carlton may be fairly big for a car but we ended up
with Dave in the back seat facing sideways. I left the radio
going as I pushed the wheelchair back to reception. Now for a
phone - Phase 1 complete.

----------------------------------------

Pulling out of the car park I pulled on to the main A6 and
headed for his home. For a Saturday afternoon traffic was easy
and in under 10 minutes I pulled up in front of his house.

"Give me your keys and I'll open the front door." Dave
passed me a key ring by one Yale key and I inserted it into the
lock, it didn't fit in all the way. I turned it half a turn
there wasn't any resistance. "It doesn't work."

"The dead lock is on - turn it one full revolution and
then push and turn half to the right,"

I tried it. "OK got it." the door opened into his small
hallway. I turned round and helped Dave out of the car. He
balanced on his crutches as I closed the car door.

We struggled to get Dave inside, the step was a definite
problem. "This isn't going to work Dave, your almost immobile."

"I'll be all right. Just get me to the settee and I'll be
fine."

We hobbled to the lounge and fell the last couple of steps
into the padded cushions. "I can't leave you alone here. Your
going to have to stay with us. Joanne would kill me if I left
you."

"Dad will help me."

"Dave! He's nearly seventy, I'm having trouble, he
certainly couldn't cope." I laughed. "Any way I don't think you
could live on spam, tinned tomatoes, and packet mash."

Dave smiled. "OK his cooking isn't up to much I'll admit."
He laughed "But he has learnt a new recipe."

"What?"

"Tinned peas, spam and instant potato."

We laughed as we rested. "Do you want a coffee, I could
murder one."

"Yeah, help yourself - you know I don't stand on ceremony.

"Hah, you don't stand at all!"

I clattered about in the kitchen. I put the kettle on and
got a couple of mugs out. "Three saccharin isn't it?"

"Yeah - There's fresh milk out by the dustbin."

"Why don't you have it left it by the door, like everybody
else.?"

"Someone started nicking it."

"Oh! - I'll get it.". I walked out of the front door, and
down the side of the house. One single pint of semi-skimmed
milk stood behind the dustbin.

Five minutes later we were sat on the sofa, Dave sideways
so his leg wasn't hanging off, sipping coffee.

"You can't ask your dad to help you Dave."

"Yeah, I know."

"But you can't stay on your own either, your going to have
to stay with us."

"Ur, I don't think that's wise Tim. You've got Joanne,
Jenny and --"

"Doug. Yes he's staying with us."

"I don't think I can stay with you Tim. Not now" He
continued his voice barely more than a whisper "not now you
know how I feel."

I looked at Dave he was looking down at his legs. I wasn't
too happy with this. Joanne, Jenny and Doug and I had talked
for most of last night and although I couldn't see any other
viable option, I wasn't sure if I could do this. Dave had been
my friend for years.

I quietly spoke sitting forward looking at the carpet in
front of the sofa. "Dave" Out of the corner of my eye I saw him
lift his head and I slowly turned to face him. "Are you sure
you love me?"

"Yes Tim, I'm sure." His eyes started to fill, tears
weren't far away.

----------------------------------------

Chapter Seven: Lovers.

I strengthened my resolve. I had to do this for his sake
but I didn't know where this was going to take our friendship.

Sliding off the sofa onto my knees I moved closer. Lifting
my hand I nervously reached out and gingerly cupped his face .
"Dave look at me."

His eyes brimming he stared at my face, silent, one tear
ran down the side of his face, running along my finger where it
gently held him. Quiet words escaping his lips. "I love you."

Fraction by fraction I closed the distance between us, his
eyes becoming wary. I leaned forward and kissed his lips. He
pulled away. "Tim, don't do this."

"It's the only way Dave." I said and leaned in again. He
pulled away again and tried to stop me but I resisted.

"No Tim, we're men, we can't it's wrong, you're married.
And --." He paused unable to say the words.

"And what? Joanne agrees with me, this is how it's going
to be."

"You don't love me!"

"Shut up Dave. Just let it happen."

"Oh God."

I pulled him into my arms, enfolding his arms to his
sides. Lowering him down on his back over the arm rest. I
lowered my head over his and kissed his closed lips. I could
feel him tense his muscles, his lips squeezing shut, keeping me
out. He stayed motionless, frozen, his eyes staring straight
ahead. I tried kissing his unresponsive lips but I wasn't
getting far.

I kissed along his jaw, his stubble was sharp and
scratchy, and down to his ear, nibbling gently I relaxed my
arms around him and started to run them over his chest. Dave
gasped and groaned out a long drawn out "Oh God." I could hear
his breathing becoming ragged.

He lay unmoving, his arms motionless by his sides, no
longer resisting but not joining in either. I pulled back and
looked at his face, his eyes tight shut, and breath wheezing
from slightly parted lips.

I kissed him and thrust my tongue into his mouth. His
mouth tensed but too late. His eyes shot open, a hunted, scared
look. haunting his face. I touched his tongue with mine and
tasted him. Staying hunched over him, I wasn't leaving his lips
until he responded I closed my eyes, breathed out into his
lungs and stayed with the kiss, constantly grinding against his
chest and nipples with my hands.

A feather light touch, not even that but I could feel the
heat of his hands as they moved along my side. A shudder, a
light trembling passed through him and the pent up love was
finally being released.

His hands touched my sides, tentative and gentle in the
extreme. His lips parted wider as he angled his face, his
tongue now responsive but unsure. I could feel his hands slide
up my sides, up on to my back and holding me down by the
shoulder blades. His tongue moved slowly to my mouth, mine
caressing and stroking his all the time. He moaned into my
mouth, the scared rabbit turning into a lion as his tongue
entered my mouth. His hands moving to the back of my head,
pressing hard as his tongue went berserk. Running along my
gums, my tongue, my teeth, and back to my tongue.

We stayed kissing for a few minutes, the air whistling in
and out of our noses whilst our tongues wrestled. Sliding from
under his hands I again ran my lips and tongue down his jaw
line to his neck and ear. Pressing my tongue into the soft skin
behind his earlobe I stroked up behind his ear and then nibbled
back down to the lobe.

Dave groaned loud and then shuddered as I found his
earlobe again. His breathing stopped for seconds. I pulled away
and looked at his face. His eyes were closed but the movement
behind them belied any peaceful state. The muscles of his neck
and face tight and rigid. Then a softening and relaxing as he
released his held in breath in a quiet groan.

His face stayed relaxed and his eyes closed.

Although I guessed what had happened I couldn't miss out
on the fun. "Now don't go to sleep on me!"

Dave opened his eyes, his face reddening as he started to
stammer. "I-I-I-I w-w-wouldn't."

I chuckled and kissed his lips lightly. He tried to follow
my lips as I pulled away and whispered "Are you enjoying this?"

"Oh Tim, It's nothing like my fantasies, I've dreamed of
this for so long. But.."

"But ?????"

"This isn't right, what about Joanne?"

I turned and sat on the carpet with my back against the
sofa. "Dave, it's not about what we should or shouldn't do. Nor
what's right in some peoples view. It's about what is right for
us. Let the rest of the world's bigotry go hang. Do you want
this?"

"More than anything I can think of." He paused and the
silence lingered "I just don't want you to hurt Joanne. You
love her!"

"Your right, I do love her and although you may not want
to hear it, I also love Doug."

The silence returned for long minutes as we sat drifting
in our own thoughts.

I broke the silence "Penny for them."

"Oh I don't know."

"Bullshit! What are you really thinking?"

"OK" a seconds pause and then "Why Doug?" Frustration and
anger speeded him into a rush. "Why couldn't it have been me?
I've loved you for so long, if I'd only told you years ago it
would be me instead of him."

"I don't know Dave." I paused trying to get my thoughts in
order. "I don't know whether I could have accepted it, It may
be because of Doug that I'm open to this."

"What does Joanne think?"

"She goes along with it, I think she's happy with it - she
says she is."

"Oh!"

We settled into silence again for a few moments.

Standing up. I reached out and pulling Dave to his feet I
said "Let's get you cleaned up."

Dave blushed and said "I'm all right."

Ignoring it I half pulled him half carried him to the
stairs. "Come on"

We tried going side by side, but the stairs were too
narrow. Sideways didn't work either, I couldn't get the
leverage to help lift Dave. After five minutes, of various
contortionist positions and both of us issuing instructions, we
had got up two steps. We couldn't help it - we started laughing
at how ridiculous it was.

We finally managed a way - well sort of. Dave was sitting
on the steps his right leg bent and on the step below, me
straddling his legs. If he pushed on the step behind, lifting
himself up with his one good arm and leg, and I pulled him up
from below making sure the plaster cleared and then pushed him
back on to the next step.

With Dave sat on the top step I scrambled past him and
helped haul him upright. I turned left, Dave turned right
saying "No the bathroom's this way"

"Without your hands you can't stay upright. Lets get you
to the bed first, I'll get a bowl and give you a bed bath."
Dave blushed but acquiesced.

After getting him on the bed I went downstairs and got a
bowl. Back to the bathroom, the soap in the basin was tiny and
firmly stuck to the soap dish. "I can't find any soap, which do
you want, Vim scouring powder, Domestos bleach or a Brillo
pad."

"Try the drawer in the airing cupboard."

"OK got one." With the last bit I went back to the
bedroom.

"Just pass me the bowl and I'll do it."

"What? And ruin my fun, no way." I put everything out of
harms way, and then pulled off my shirt. When I started to
unbutton his shirt, Dave went quiet but started blushing
furiously, getting brighter and brighter the lower I went.

"What's the matter, I've seen you naked hundreds of
times."

"Not like this you haven't."

I looked down, the shorts with a large dark grey wet patch
had a very prominent bulge. I couldn't resist it - it popped
into my head. In the sassy accent "Is that a gun in your
pocket" I paused "or are you just pleased to see me." I burst
out laughing.

Dave blushed brighter and then laughed with me.

Sometimes the silliest thing can crack you up. I couldn't
stop laughing, I had tears coming out of my eyes, My guts ached
with it and I collapsed on top of Dave.

When my fit had passed Dave was holding me, gently rubbing
his hands along my back, sensuously following my muscles with
the tips of his fingers. I moved my arms to lift myself up and
his hands shied away. Propping myself up just over him I looked
into his eyes and whispered "Don't stop." His hands hesitantly
returned and I sank onto him, my lips locking onto his.

As his hands resumed their stroking his tongue thrust into
my mouth. I sucked and stroked it as it washed my mouth. The
kissing lasted and lasted. His tongue becoming more dominant
and demanding. I knew it was up to me to take this farther,
Dave couldn't move. When his tongue briefly left my mouth I
sucked at his bottom lip and then slowly drifted down. Kissing
and licking the soft skin below his chin I moved to his neck.
Moving over him I straddled his legs, his clothed prick
pressing into my stomach as I gently chewed and licked his
neck. I pulled the sides of the shirt apart tearing the last
two buttons apart. Unlike Doug, Dave had chest hair, moving my
fingers through it I lightly teased them by pulling gently with
the tips of my fingers.

Dave his head thrown back and his arms spread wide moaned
long and loud. I licked along a shoulder and crossed to the
side of his chest, gently biting the soft skin I found. I
shuffled down a bit and then licked over to a nipple running my
tongue around and around barely grazing the stiffening nub.
Dave started humping against me and I slowed down. I wasn't
going to get anywhere if he kept cumming.

His left hand rubbed on my shoulder and tried to pull me
back against him, urging me on. Long shuddering gasps leaving
his wet shiny lips.

"Slow down, the longer it lasts the better it'll be."

He moaned again and then lifting his head up as if it was
using the last of his energy "I'll try, it's so hard."

As I licked down his sternum I giggled at his words, my
breath making his dark hairs dance and the skin flinch. My
hands creating goose flesh along his sides as they trailed up
and down. I attacked one of his nipples and sucked it hard,
nursing on it. Dave arched his back and screamed, his hand
holding me tight against him.

For a few moments I remained locked in position, sucking
and nibbling with Dave stretched and tense below me. I moved,
resisting his hands, and licked down to his navel, tasting the
sweat that matted the hairs that ran and curled into his
seemingly bottomless navel. The smell of his cum soaked shorts
strong in the air I breathed deeply, liking it. His body
collapsed. His breathing now erratic and deep, he was holding
his breath for eight or nine seconds and then releasing it in a
sudden gush only to repeat the cycle. When I thought he was
ready I jumped onto his other nipple and sucked hard. He
screamed again and his body bowed under me, I gave it a good
chewing and suck before releasing him.

He collapsed back to the bed again with a groan, his body
trembling.

Taking care, he was so close to cumming again, His
erection throbbed against my chest. I couldn't go much lower, I
had to get his shorts off. I had now a need to get him in my
mouth. To give him that pleasure that he'd resisted for years.

I moved back up and kissed his heaving chest running a
line up to his lips, His hair wet and plastered to his
forehead, his eyes glassy and wide. He was breathing so hard a
deep kiss was out of the question. I pecked at them again and
again whilst he slowly calmed.

I moved down and considered what to do. Dave was ready
that was a certainty. I gently slid my hands down his sides,
over his contracting stomach and onto the shorts, feeling the
bulge. Shaping the cloth stretched it tight over him, with slow
lingering strokes I palmed his cock from base to tip and back
again. About seven and half inches maybe eight.

Dave moaned and then spoke his breath uneven. "Tim, oh God
Tim."

I slid a finger under the waistband and lifted it up and
over the bursting head. Purple and dark. Dave arched to allow
me to pull his shorts but they would only go down to his
plaster.

The sweet torture of foreplay over I decided to bring Dave
once more to the brink of agony and ecstasy. Lifting his cock
inline with my mouth. I swallowed and sucked as much and as
hard as I could. His balls pulled up like they were on springs
and Dave arched once more with a thundering
"Keeeeerrrriiiisssssttttttttttt" stretched out for the first
spasm, second and then the first shot. Strong, alkaline and
salty, ten distinct hard shots, I bled him dry.

Running my tongue around the head I was surprised by how
quickly he went soft, it was immediate.

Pulling up I looked up at Dave's face. His head lolled to
one side, eyes closed, out of it. I went to check him. He was
out cold. I rolled him over and relaxed for a few seconds
beside him.

Getting to my feet, I stripped and lifting Dave's legs
pulled off the shorts. Grabbing the duvet I pulled it from
under his comatose body and then lying next to him I pulled it
up and over us.

Resting my head next to his I stroked his back, softly
rubbing and caressing. With my eyes closed and the feel of
Dave's breath against my neck I slipped into the silence of
dark, deep sleep.

----------------------------------------

Sleep lifted slowly, leaving a delightful warmth with that
groggy drowsiness and a slow running mind. Flights of fancy and
waking sexy dreams, held in the arms of one who loved me. The
light brushing of a hand or the almost ephemeral feel of a kiss
heightening the dreamscape of love that surrounded me.

Prickles of pleasure and a low quiet moan pulled at me, I
tried to stay in that timeless place. Broken finally by a
wincing pain that stabbed through my consciousness making my
legs jerk as if the floor had moved. My eyes opened as a
muffled grunt sounded below me, looking down I saw Dave holding
my stiff cock, he licked up one side and slowly slid it into
his mouth. His eyes sharp, he seemed lost to the world,
entirely focused on the object of his attention.

Another moan escaped his lips as he turned his head
releasing me only to pull my cock back to his lips and suck it
in again. My hardness escalating from steel to rock as he
voraciously continued. Lying there I luxuriated in the feel of
his hot wet mouth, soft sucking lips and wildly active tongue.
Periodically cringing from the fleeting touches of sharp teeth.

The fact that he was obviously a novice at this didn't
detract from the pleasure I was receiving. Lowering my arms I
lightly brushed my fingers through his fine raven hair. "Don't
stop Dave, I'm nearly there, Suck it ... Oh Yes ... Harder ...
Oh God!"

I should have warned him, given him the chance to pull
off. I didn't, couldn't, brought to the brink so fast. Thoughts
of Dave and his inexperience fled from my mind as the pleasure
burst through me. Grasping his hair tight, thrusting my hips I
tasted ecstasy and loudly groaned, feeling the spasms lock my
buttocks high and tense. Crowned by sudden release my cock deep
in his mouth pushed at his throat as jet after jet of fiery
plasma escaped.

Coughs and splutters broke into my awareness as I lay
wasted, breathing deeply. I looked down into Dave's eyes as he
rubbed his hand across his mouth and nose. "I'm sorry Dave, I
should have warned you."

Another cough followed by a croak, his eyes bright and
wide. "I didn't expect so much, so fast. It went up my nose."
He looked over the side of the bed and leaned down.
Straightening up he pulled his shirt from the floor and blew
his nose.

Sitting up I pulled him into my arms and slipping my head
sideways I lined our lips. Kissing him deeply, my hands roaming
down his back. The taste of me fresh in his mouth I stroked and
caressed him whilst our tongues played.

Breaking away I went for his neck but Dave grabbed my head
and tugged me back to his mouth. "Oh Tim, my Tim" said almost
as an exultation. He thrust his tongue in between my lips and
held me tight to him. Kissing passionately we slowly sank down,
Dave pulling me on top.

Half rocking and half caressing we slowly humped, our
tongues entwined. Dave's hands kneading and gripping the cheeks
of my bottom, pressing me down on his hard rod. Light moans
echoing in each others mouth as we sawed our mouths together.
My hands pushing and pulling his head from side to side as I
tried to deepen our contact.

A need in me rose like a raging torrent. I wanted Dave in
me, to join with me as our love blossomed. Hunching over him, I
brought my knees up his sides. The feel of his cock pushing at
my balls and the sensitive skin below only driving me on.
Separating from his mouth I kissed his nose, his eyes and then
sank onto one of his ears nibbling and sucking. Shifting my
bottom around I felt his need grow.

Sitting back, my eyes drilling into his, I licked my hand
wet. Dave's eyes half closed and intense returned my stare.
Reaching around me I lifted myself and slicked his throbbing
dick with gentle rubs. Dave's eyes closed and he cooed his
pleasure. Spitting into my hand I slicked his dick again.
Whilst my other hand prepared me. Feeling anxious but resolute
I moved around until I felt the head touch my anus. I pressed
down and gasped as the head forced its way in.

Dave's eyes shot open, surprised as his body humped
forcing another inch in. Relaxing all I could I slowly sank
down on him, wincing and groaning at the twinges. Crouching
over to kiss his lips as my rear convulsed, gripping his shaft
tight.

Locked in a kiss, my tongue raping his mouth, I gently
raised and lowered myself. Dave's hands caressing my back
slipped down and cupped my cheeks helping me move, urging me
faster. Again that place inside me was touched and I moaned my
love. Sitting back I speeded up the thrusts. Dave's eyes
pulling at mine as we humped and pumped our way together.

Sweat dripping from my hair onto his heaving chest Dave
moaned, his breath uneven. "Tim! Oh God Tim--. I can't take
it--.I'm gonna .. cum--." He screamed my name and I felt him
stiffen beneath me as he rocked his head from side to side.
Pulse after pulse of warmth entered me and I slowly relaxed on
him.

His breathing relaxed into deep gasps as his body dropped
down. Staying on him I gripped his rod to stop him leaving me.
Dave moaned, drained.

Caressing his chest and shoulders I rubbed my hands over
him feeling his sweat slippery hair slide under my hands.
Lowering myself over him I lightly kissed his parted lips. "I
love you!"

Dave opened his eyes and looking into mine "Say it again,
Tim, let me believe it."

I stared into his eyes. "I do, I love you!"

Dave pulled my head down to his lips as he lifted his head
kissing me again and again. Letting his head fall to the
mattress he quietly said "You don't know how I've wanted to
hear you say that."

I closed my eyes and lost myself in his embrace our kisses
loving and lingering. My hands resting on his chest gently
teasing his nipples. Pleased at a flicker of life inside me and
a groan from Dave.

------------- The End -------------

At that I'll leave these friends and lovers to their
own devices. Contented that they found love, friendship and
happiness, a trail we all want to follow.

Their own learning mirrored by my own, as each line was
written my skill in saying what I wanted to say grew and the
struggle for words diminished. For a first story, false
modesty aside, I don't think I did too bad.

If I managed to make you feel horny, laugh, smile or
worry and want the next part then I'm glad you enjoyed it.

If however I created the evocation of a feeling or the
association of yourself to a character then I have achieved
what I set out to do.

Although it will take time before I reach the skill of
Ricardo Cabeza, Bill Fore or Mathis B. Rogers. I hope I'm on
the right road.