Friday, April 17, 2009

Anal Awakenings part 4

I was bereft. In the last few weeks I'd lost my girlfriend, realised I was
in love, probably with two different men - who just happened to be in love
with each other - and now I probably had no hope of finding happiness with
either of them. Worst of all I had been rejected by my best friend. Tom had
known me longer than anyone other than my parents. He had held my head
countless times as I threw up. He'd stood at my back in bar brawls. He was
the man who had put his arm round my shoulder at my father's funeral and
soothed me as I sobbed. He had made love to me on the floor of my office.

I needed comfort. I couldn't be alone right now. I needed uncomplicated
warmth, and I didn't want to ask for it. I needed to be with someone to
whom I mattered. I pointed the Saab towards Docklands and Emma's flat.

I'd still got a key to her place from our early days together before she'd
moved in with me. I'd offered to give it back to her recently, but she'd
asked me to keep it. It was a symbolic gesture in keeping with our attempts
to maintain contact and closeness, and I think it made her feel safe to
know that we still had a domestic connection.

She wasn't there when I arrived, so I let myself in. Her flat was small,
with a reasonable sized living room overlooking the water. A small
vestibule at the back led to the two small bedrooms and the
bathroom. Emma's immaculate taste was evident everywhere, and the flat felt
cosy. I knew I'd come to the right place. I sloshed a generous measure of
scotch into a glass and headed towards the back of the flat. I didn't feel
comfortable making myself at home in her bedroom - somehow it would have
been an invasion of her privacy. Thankfully the spare room was made up. I
dumped my clothes on the floor and snuggled under the duvet. I couldn't
even face drinking the scotch. I turned over, and hugging my knees to my
chest, I abandoned myself to oblivion.

I don't know how long I slept, but I awoke feeling groggy and
disorientated, and the room was dark around me. At first I didn't know
where I was, but I'd pulled a sense of dread with me into consciousness,
that made me feel uneasy about my dreams. There was a slit of light showing
under the door. I needed to piss really badly, so, sleep-drunk, I crawled
out of bed and shuffled to the door. I opened it to be dazzled by the light
that blazed in the vestibule. Ahead of me was the door into the living
room, to the right, Emma's bedroom, and to the left, the bathroom.

I presumed Emma must be in bed, so I cautiously aimed the stream of piss
onto the side of the toilet bowl. I looked down at my penis. It was just
the soft side of erect, heavy, with the foreskin partially retracted, the
glans moistly poking out. It felt comforting in my hand. I shook the last
drops off the end and stepped to the side and stood in front of the floor
length mirror beside the bath. I hadn't turned on the light, but the
Dockside area was never dark and soft light was coming in through the

I took stock of what I saw. This was what a bisexual man looked like. I was
tall - over six feet - and broad in the shoulders and chest. In the last
few years I'd broadened across the waist. I put my hand on my soft tummy
and caressed the hairs there. I turned to the side and peered back at my
arse. I tried to see what Tom liked in it. It was pretty big, as were my
thighs. Years of rugby had made the best of what I'd been born with, and
thankfully the slackness in my stomach hadn't crept any lower; my bottom
was still pretty taught, my thighs hard. I put my hands on my hairy
buttocks; they filled my hands, round and heavy.

I was enjoying looking at myself, taking stock, realising I still had it,
would need it if I was ever going to find another man to shag me. My eyes
closed as I thought of Tom. However angry I was, I knew how stupid we'd
both been, and more than anything I already missed him very badly. What
surprised me was that I also missed Jude. I thought of his gorgeous puppy
dog smile and my guts twisted in pain to imagine what he'd think of me
now. I was sure that Tom would tell him what we'd done - I didn't know how
else he was going to explain his broken nose. I remembered his lovely
pierced dick and him fucking me in a pool of my own piss on my kitchen
floor. Jude was fun; he always seemed to be open to taking the most
pleasure from every moment. Having sex with him had been energising, and I
couldn't remember the last time I'd laughed so much with a lover.

But as I thought about them I realised that underneath all that, I was also
feeling resentful and bitter. They had each other, they'd got it all sorted
out; they'd used me, woken me from a sexual slumber, they'd enjoyed me,
taken me to a submissive, powerless place, and dumped me. I had a sudden,
violent image of me fucking Tom, raping him, over-powering him, shoving him
down and slamming him, hearing him moan and scream and sob as I had done so
many times with his cock in me. I felt my dick stiffen and thought of Emma,
of how much she'd enjoyed me taking her up the arse, of how virile and
masculine I had felt with her. I remembered her look of confusion the first
time I'd buggered her as she'd tried to make sense of the obscene pleasure
that was overwhelming her. I started skinning my cock, relishing its
thickness in my hand, and realised I wanted Emma, needed her to want me
inside her. I opened the bathroom door.

The hallway was now in darkness, which was odd, until I saw that the
bedroom door was slightly ajar, and light was coming from within. She must
have come to bed since I'd been in the bathroom - god knows how long I'd
been in there feeling sorry for myself. As I stepped towards her doorway I
heard muffled sounds, and then a man's voice groan. I felt a rush of
excitement and anger as I tried to look round the door.

The lamp at the side of the bed cast a pool of golden light over most of
the bed. Emma was being fucked on her side by a tall, slim guy with very
dark hair. He'd got her in one of those athletic-looking positions that
obviously made him feel like he was in charge. He was banging away with
gusto. Emma looked bored. One of her legs was pinned uncomfortably around
his shoulder, the other he was holding up round his waist. She was propping
her head on her right hand, and with the other she was absently stroking
her clit. In between thrusts he was keeping up a constant stream of
porno-speak: 'Oh your pussy feels so good.' 'You love that cock, don't
you?' 'Yeah baby, tighten that pussy.' 'You fucking slut, you love it.'
'God your tits are amazing.' He didn't sound like he was turning himself
on, never mind her. His engagement with her body, with her experience of
the fucking, was pretty non-existent. He was playing out a scene; he
obviously thought he was impressing her with his patter, his energy and
athleticism, but she looked like she wanted to turn the TV on.

His hips were pretty slender, and his body was almost hairless, which made
his dark bush look stark and exciting. His cock didn't look especially
thick, but from the length of his strokes, it was obviously fairly long. He
was handsome, in a kind of off-the-shelf kind of way. You saw thousands of
these young white-collar drones milling around Docklands and the
City. Sharp suits, trendy hair cuts, cocky 'tude; on the way up and loving
it, imagination locked on getting promoted, a better flat, a girl with
bigger tits, an Audi TT. Their ambition was like a veneer, shiny, obvious,
superficially attractive. This one was better looking than most, but that
didn't surprise me; after all, Emma was stunning. As I watched he hauled
her body on the bed, bouncing her uncomfortably into another Olympian
position before resuming his regular, rapid, pumping.

Emma looked like she'd lost weight, and it didn't suit her. I'd always
loved her fleshiness; she was a size 16 and carried it with poise and
self-confidence. Now her spectacular tits looked bigger than ever against
her slim waist, but she didn't look happy. She groaned in discomfort as he
threw her legs back over her head and stood up on the bed. He dick slipped
out of her as he moved. It was long and pretty thin, but with a bizarrely
plum-shaped head that was covered in the froth of their juices. He crammed
his penis back in her and resumed his rhythm, pistoning down on her
body. At that angle I knew that she wouldn't have been getting much out of
it. She couldn't even reach her own clitoris and his cock would have been
nowhere near the G spot at the back of her cunt. As I watched he threw his
head back and started playing with his nipples, balancing his thighs on her
buttocks. I don't even think he was aware himself of how unexcited he
was. At the rate he was fucking you'd have thought he would be cumming by
now, but he looked miles off. He reminded me of men at the gymn doing reps,
totally unaware of anything other than how they looked and how many
circuits they'd done; constantly competing against an ideal notion of who
they thought they should be.

However an inept lover Emma's shag might have been, I was nevertheless
quite excited watching them. He was pretty good looking; she was stunning,
and everything I'd seen validated my own prowess in a way that made my dick
throb and salved my battered ego.

He pulled her down with him and knelt between her legs, pulling them
ridiculously wide. His rhythm barely varied. I could tell that Emma just
wanted him to cum and get his weird-shaped penis out of her. Cupping his
pale, smooth arse cheeks, I could see her pushing a finger into his
arsehole. I knew that she was trying to bring him off more quickly. She'd
done it to me from time to time - it was, after all, a trick I'd taught

'Oh Jesus!' he shuddered violently as she stuffed two fingers up his
slender arse and fucked him with them. With her other hand she was frigging
herself like crazy. She had become much more interested in him, and was
watching his face closely as she fingered him. His eyes were closed and the
naff patter had stopped. He was feeling something; his strokes were slower
but stronger. He dropped her legs, allowing her to get more comfortable,
and, coincidentally, further up his arse. He lay down on top of her with
his face screwed up tight; he was going to cum.

My cock was very hard, my breath ragged. He cried out in surprise as his
orgasm hit him. Emma was violently humping herself on him and I knew that
she was cumming too. I wanted to look after her. She deserved her orgasm:
she'd worked bloody hard for it.

He'd barely stopped moving when I pushed open the door and stood with my
arms folded, leaning against the frame. My cock had dropped, but was still
engorged and impressive as I stood there with a shit-eating grin on my

'I don't think we've met.' I was affecting a Cary Grant drawl.

'What the fuck - ' He started badly, shoving Emma away as he attempted to
put his hands in front of his withering dick.

'Tim! Jesus! What are you doing here?' Emma was taken aback, but clearly
not that displeased to see me, given that I'd caught her shagging. She
couldn't disguise the glint of pleasure in her eye at seeing me,
particularly as I had no clothes on.

'Who the fuck are you?' He'd remembered that he was supposed to be tough,
and was trying to adopt a pose of manful authority.

'I'm the boyfriend of the woman who's just had half her hand up your arse.'

Whatever resistance he thought he was going to mount was over. He dropped
his gaze, blushing fiercely. We all might have been naked, but it was
always bad manners to sleep with another man's girl. And it was never manly
and virile to enjoy having anything up your bum; the idea that I'd seen
what had happened wasn't something he could deal with.

Emma had got off the bed and padded towards me. She put her arms round my

'Tim, you are naughty to interrupt us. But it's good to see you, looking,
erm, so well.' She smiled, dipping her gaze to my distended penis. I kissed
her lightly on the mouth.

'I spoke to Jude earlier. He told me that you've fallen out with Tom. Are
you okay?'

'Much better for seeing you, Em.' I kissed her properly this time, and she
responded. We'd both forgotten the man on the bed, until he coughed, rather

I broke our kiss, and asked Emma, 'Aren't you going to introduce me to your

'Look,' he said, 'I'm obviously intruding on something, I'll leave you

'Don't leave on my account.' I said, nuzzling Emma's neck. I kissed her
bare skin and murmured in her ear, 'Maybe we could teach him some valuable

She pulled back from me, her eyes glittering, a mischievous grin playing at
the corners of her mouth. I knew that she loved gay men, had always had
lots of queer friends, and that her and Jude had become pretty
inseparable. When we'd talked about my being bisexual, I'd suspected that
her attraction to gay guys went beyond an appreciation of their apparent
sensitivity and great quiche recipes.

'Jason, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Tim. Tim, this is Jason. We work

'Pleased to meet you Jason.' I strode towards him, my cock thickly slapping
between my thighs. He took his eyes off it long enough to grasp the hand I
was offering him and we shook. I was really enjoying myself. I felt fully
in control of the situation. Whatever crap Emma and I were going through,
there was enough love and care between us that my position was
secure. There'd been a new understanding between us when we'd spoken since
I'd come out to her. This man-boy, with his shrivelled cock and his as-yet
unrecognised liking for having his bum-hole played with, was no match for
me in any way. I needed this.

I put my arm round Emma and dipped my head towards her right tit, teasing
her nipple with the end of my tongue for a while before gently sucking it
into my mouth as I stroked her heavy breast. She groaned softly and put her
hands in my hair. With my other hand I reached between her legs and gently
stroked her outer lips; they were still wet with Jason's cum and her
juices. I pushed my finger into the sticky interior of her cunt. I felt my
cock lift off my thigh and stiffly push itself away from my body.

I lifted my head from her breast and looked at Jason as I licked his cum
off my fingers. He dragged his gaze from my cock and his jaw dropped as he
saw what I was doing.

'Shall we play?' I grinned at him. He looked like a rabbit trapped in
headlights. His own cock was lengthening nicely. I felt sorry for him. He
wanted to play, with both of us, but his limited, laddish brain was telling
him that a threesome with another man was gay.

But he was no match for Emma. She put her hand between her legs, bending
her knees to give him a good view as she fingered herself deeply. Then she
held out her hand to him. Like a man coming out of a dream, he leant
forward and licked the stickiness from her fingers. Again I put my fingers
to her pussy and then held them out to him. We were seducing him. I could
almost see him assessing whether he could get away with having sex with us
without his mates finding out. He took my fingers into his mouth and sucked
his cum off them. Emma giggled lasciviously and I knew we had him. We were
going to have fun.

Jason buried his face in Emma's cunt, lapping and sucking excitedly.

'Easy tiger.' She giggled, and turned to kiss me fully. As his tongue
probed her more seriously she groaned into my mouth and pushed her tongue
fiercely down my throat. When she came up for air a wicked smile played on
her lips. There was a cockiness and confidence about her that satisfied me
deeply. She winked at me, and put her hand on Jason's head. He was still
buried in her pussy. I caught my breath as she moved his head towards my

'Be a good boy, Jason, and you'll get rewarded.' He looked up at her, his
face a model of confusion and excitement.

I exhaled, my breath coming in a long sigh as he faced my erect penis. He
was mesmerised by it. I could feel his ragged breath on my exposed, wet
glans and I shuddered. He glanced at Emma again; her hand was in her
crotch. He'd obviously never been so close to another man's erection. He
turned back to my cock and opened his mouth and then I was enveloped in
warm softness.

'Oh yes.' Emma gasped, watching Jason take my thick penis between his lips.

He licked my head like it was a lollipop before sucking it
enthusiastically. I was very aroused; I must have been flooding his mouth
with pre-cum. I moved my hand down to Emma's bottom and slipped my fingers
into her crack. I gently rubbed her anus and she groaned.

She turned to me and put her head on my chest, fingering my hairs before

'Tim. Do you want to fuck my arse?'

Jason's ministrations were making it difficult for me to
breath. 'Darling... I would love to... Put my cock up your. Arse.'

I gently eased my penis out of his mouth. It was very hard, and emerged red
and wet. I walked over to the bedside cabinet and took a tube of lube from
the top drawer.

'Jason, why don't you lie on the bed, and let Emma take a seat?'

She looked at me quizzically but I smiled at her solicitously and put my
hand on her arse. I think she had a pretty good idea what I had in mind.

She took his hand and led him to the bed. His cock was bouncing in front of
him and he looked like he'd been let loose in a sweet shop after hours. I
couldn't help smiling. He had no idea what he was letting himself in
for. Emma was game, practically gagging for some kink, and I wasn't going
to disappoint her.

She pushed him down on the bed and straddled him. He cried out as she sank
herself down on his slender meat, his head rearing up off the pillow. She
wriggled around on him, her legs obscenely spread as she presented her arse
to me. Any doubts I had about her knowing what I had in mind were
deliciously dispelled.

I walked towards them and grabbed Jason's legs and pulled him down the
bed. His eyes were wide, but I ignored him until his hips were on the edge,
his feet on the floor. His confused, handsome face looked so appealing
smeared with my pre-cum and his saliva. Emma was balanced on his torso with
his hands on her hips. I stepped between his knees and crouched a little. I
could see her cunt lips distended around his shaft as I lubed up my cock.

'Oh Jesus!' Jason looked like he was about to burst into flames when he
realised what I was doing, but he had the presence of mind to pull her
buttocks apart. Emma was looking over her shoulder, smiling at me. I was
going to fuck both of them.

The head of my dick looked especially big against her anus, and above his
much skinnier member. I felt powerful and aroused, but also calm and
benevolent. Emma deserved to have her fantasies indulged. I nudged my glans
against his cock and rubbed her crack with it before easing it into her
arsehole. She dropped her head onto his chest, pushing her hips further up
towards me. I felt him lift his loins to keep his cock in her pussy. I
waited a few moments as her muscles relaxed and then pushed my shaft about
halfway up her rectum.

The heat coming off her was incredible. She was making deep, lusty groans
into Jason's chest, absently rolling her head from side to side. I leant
over her back and cupped her tits as I started fucking her. My hands were
sandwiched between their slick, sweaty flesh, and over Emma's head I was
face to face with the hapless Jason. His eyes were so wide they could have
popped out of his head. I was making slow, strong thrusts up her arse. She
was incredibly tight.

'Come on Jason,' I smiled at him, 'fuck her.' I urged him on, rocking their
bodies beneath me until I felt him start humping up into her. His firm legs
chafed mine as he braced his feet against the floor and I felt the stiff
mass of his penis moving against the wall of her bowel.

Emma was tripping out between us, pushing back against me, grunting and
panting as we fucked her.

'Are you okay, baby? Does that feel good?'

Her answer was incoherent, but definitely affirmative, as she groaned
loudly, moving back against me. Jason was staring at her in disbelief. I
wasn't surprised; having seen his earlier performance, he can't have been
that used to seeing women lose it in ecstasy.

I've seen a lot of porn featuring double penetrations of women - it's
difficult to avoid them. They seem to have become a staple of het
videos. I'd always been suspicious about the pleasures such scenes offered
supposedly straight male audiences. The ludicrously contrived positions
necessary to facilitate double fucking have always struck me as the closest
two men can get to fucking each other, without actually fucking each
other. Now I knew how impossible it was for two men to fuck a woman at the
same time and not have a complete, and completely sexual, awareness of each
other. Almost as much of Jason's body was touching mine as Emma's was. My
pleasure in being up her rectum was increased by the pressure of Jason's
cock against mine inside Emma's body. My identification with her getting
fucked was heightened by my recognition of his curiosity about what we were
doing to her. And the turn on of subjugating her was, for me, much less
acute than the pleasure of topping him. Because that's what I was doing -
symbolically at least. And I knew before the night was over that I'd be
doing it for real.

I felt incredibly loving towards Emma. I felt proud of her for being so
comfortable with her desires. I'd seen how bored she'd been by Jason's
earlier attempts at pleasing her, by his complacent machismo. I knew what
it felt like to give yourself over to powerlessness, to let yourself be
taken, and taken care of by people you trusted to take responsibility for
your pleasure, your well-being. It made me sad that our last few weeks of
living together had so undermined her, made her whiny and brittle. I'd
withheld myself from her emotionally and she hadn't been able to cope. I'd
imagined the truth of what I was going through would devastate her, but
instead it seemed to make her more at ease with me; I wondered if she'd had
bisexual inclinations of her own, and vowed to ask her about it and support
her experimentations. We may not end up living together again, but I knew
that there was something between us that was important and precious to us

I could feel Emma's movements becoming more urgent beneath me, and the
sounds she was making became more violent. She was straining against us,
frantically managing the waves of sensation, and yet there was a wonderful
slackness about her as she started cumming, panting hard, and letting out
little high-pitched gasps. Her arms were stretched over Jason's head. His
face looked slick and red with strands of her hair stuck to his skin. I
stroked her back and softly caressed her tits as she came, murmuring soft
words of encouragement to her. I was stunned by the length and intensity of
her orgasm. As her shuddering eased, we stopped moving inside her, and she
turned her head towards me, closing her eyes. I leaned into her and took
her tongue in my mouth. She was gently twisting her loins on our hard cocks
as she kissed me with such tenderness that I felt my legs stagger and I
clutched her slippery body to my chest. I slid my eyes past Emma's head to
Jason. He was watching us with such intensity I wondered if he was okay. I
put my hand on his leg and stoked him. He twitched at my touch, and then
put his hands on Emma's hips, arching his cock up into her, as we gazed at
one another.

I was aware that neither Jason nor I had cum, but that our cocks were still
rock hard. I gently withdrew my stiffness from her bowels, gasping as her
sphincter tightened against the movement. As Emma and I continued to kiss I
pulled her up into my arms, off Jason's penis, and turned her round to face
me fully. His naked dick got momentarily pressed against my slack hairy
belly, where it burned my skin, before it slapped back onto his
body. Emma's arms were wrapped round my neck as I lifted her back onto
Jason's torso; she straddled him with her back to his head and gently I
removed her arms and slid her backwards until her bottom was in his
face. They got the idea and starting 69ing. She took his penis in her mouth
and he parted her buttocks with his hands and leaned between them
greedily. I watched them for a few minutes, skinning my dick, before I
grasped his legs, lifting them off the floor and bending them back towards

The look of satisfaction on her face was positively feline as she braced
his thighs back with her elbows, presenting his arsehole towards me.

I could see Jason's hairy balls drawn up tight to the base of his cock, and
below them, a dark hairy line disappeared into his buttocks. Kneeling at
the base of the bed, I leant into his body and licked his balls. At first
he didn't realise what was happening, but then he raised his head and saw
what I was doing. He flinched from my touch, but he didn't have anywhere to
go with his cock down Emma's throat, and anyway, it was feeling too good
for him to work that hard at resisting me. I started licking and sucking
his balls in earnest, my face close to Emma's. Her mouth was stretched
reasonably wide around his slim cock, but her eyes were wider still as she
watched what I was doing.

Dipping my head lower I parted his buttocks and looked at his anus. I could
smell the earthiness of him, the yeasty bitterness of his arse and the
salty maleness of his sweat. His sphincter pulsed spasmodically, tickled by
the warm movement of my breath. He was very aroused, his arselips slightly
parted from the fingering he'd gotten earlier. I wondered if anyone had
ever rimmed him before. I felt like I was inducting him into a thrilling
fellowship, offering him pleasures unknown as yet in his tender years. He
was full of youthful vigour and immaturity and it was very exciting.

His sigh, muffled by Emma's rump, was full of shock and wonder as I pushed
my squirming tongue against his anus. His arse hairs were prickly against
my lips and nose and his smell strongly filled my nostrils, making my penis
throb. The tight pucker pulsed against the point of my tongue before
yielding and then I was licking the silky pinkness inside his rectum.

Emma took Jason's penis out of her mouth so she could concentrate on my
rimming him, and I could see that he'd dropped his head from her cunt back
onto the bed. His eyes were closed and he was groaning like a girl. I had a
sudden image from earlier of him fucking Emma, all posturing virility, and
pushed my tongue into him as far as it would go, flattening it out and
pumping him full of my saliva. He tasted bitter and soft and male and good
and I closed my eyes and anticipated shoving my big hard cock into his

He couldn't keep still with my tongue up his bum. He was writhing about the
bed, pushing himself into my face. Emma had her hand round the base of his
cock and it was rock hard, its oddly distended glans fatter than ever. He
kept making a series of little gasped 'oh's, almost as though he was trying
to keep from shouting out loud. I sympathised with him, but badly wanted to
know what sounds would emanate from him with my dick rammed up his
rectum. He was clearly enjoying himself, but wasn't ready, or able, to
acknowledge it. In fact he looked completely spaced out, disorientated;
horny but overwhelmed.

I stood up between his legs and lined up my fat dick with his hole. He
sensed the movement and looked up to see what I was doing. I pressed my
glans against his open lips and he gasped loudly.

Emma looked up at me. Her face was sheened in sweat. 'Oh yes, Tim. Fuck
him. I want to see it.' The longing in her voice made my dick throb.

'Oh no. No.' He dropped his head back on the bed, eyes tightly shut.

I pressed forward and lodged my dick just inside him. His arse was
open. His cock was leaking pre-cum that ran down his shaft and over Emma's

His macho, laddish sensibility was telling him that he didn't want me to
fuck him. But his body was telling him something else. As I held still,
barely penetrating him, he spread his legs, adjusting the angle of his hips
to facilitate my entry. He was still vaguely murmuring 'No', tossing his
head on the bed, but as I pressed forward and he felt my penis move inside
him he groaned.

'Oh God. Jesus. No. Please.' It wasn't clear whether he wanted me to stop,
or was begging me not to. I don't think he knew himself. But I did, and so
did Emma. She couldn't take her eyes off my fat shaft as it inched into
Jason's belly. She put her hand down under Jason's balls, and encircled my
tool. She caressed my cock and traced round the edge of his distended
anus. I realised that she'd never seen anal sex from this side before. She
leaned up towards me and kissed me, breathing heavily into my mouth.

'Are we having fun, baby?' I murmured into her open mouth.

'Oh yes. I want to see you fuck him. Fuck him for me.'

'Help him out, babes.'

Breaking from our kiss, she turned round to face him. She got hold of his
hands and brought them up to her splendid tits. He woke as if from a dream
and opened his eyes and started caressed and cupping the handfuls she'd
given him to play with. She leant forward and kissed him deeply and he
responded passionately. His face was very red and coated in a slick sheen
of sweat.

I was only about halfway up him, as I started gently fucking. I grabbed his
dick, enjoying its hot hardness in my hand and tossed him off in time to my
thrusts in his bum. He started moving against me, involuntarily helping me
to fuck him, as he tried to intensify the sensations inside. At this angle,
my cock must have been sliding against his prostate with each stroke. Emma
came up for air; she had her hands on his face and her tits under his chin,
as she spoke to him.

'Do you like that, baby? Does Tim's dick feel good inside you?'

He didn't answer her. He bit his lip, grunting and writhing with the
pleasure of getting fucked. She stroked his hair and wriggled against him,
letting him feel the womanliness of her soft, curvaceous body.

'Tell me, baby. Turn me on. Tell me how good it feels.'

'Oh god!' He was gasping like a fish out of water, but he couldn't hold
back any more.

'Oh shit. It feels... Good. Oh god, it feels good.'

'I know, baby. Tim is very good at this. Just relax baby. You're safe here,
just relax. Let Emma take care of you.'

She let her body fall to one side and moved upwards, resting back against
the headboard, cradling his head in her hands and against her tits. I let
go of his throbbing cock and lifted his legs up onto my shoulders. I
started in with deeper thrusts until the full length of my penis was
embedded in his tight, hot, twitching hole.

I was staring into his face, but he couldn't look at me; he had his head
partially turned towards Emma, resting on her chest. His face displayed the
struggle he was having between shame and pleasure. He was ashamed of what
was happening to him: getting fucked up the arse by another man, an older,
stronger, more masculine man who was using him like a bitch. He was ashamed
of how much he was enjoying the fucking he was getting; enjoying the
physical sensation, but also the subjugation of submitting to me, and
submitting to Emma. As she cradled his head, soothing him whilst he moaned
and gasped into her tits, she told me to fuck him harder, to stuff my big
cock up him, to show her how much of a man I was. Shame hadn't softened
Jason's cock, which now lay, twitching on his belly, oozing pre-cum onto
his smooth skin.

I could feel his butthole clamping on my cock and relished how much I was
enjoying myself. I could feel my orgasm building somewhere behind my balls
and shoved myself into Jason's bowels more urgently, increasing the pace
and force of my thrusts. I was gasping, moaning, 'Oh yes, oh yes. Yes,
yes.' over and over, all my attention taken by the exquisite, tight
friction against my cock.

Emma could see I was close, and started frigging herself. 'Oh baby, are you
close? Are you going to cum inside him? Oh yeah, baby, fuck him.'

Her words heightened my excitement, but they pushed Jason well over the
edge, and suddenly he was crying out, shoving his face between her tits and
grinding his hips onto my penis. Emma leant forward eagerly to watch as his
cock started pumping sperm onto his chest and stomach. The contraction of
his arse muscles was so strong I thought I'd get pushed out, but the
feeling of being intensely squeezed in his bum had me gasping. My orgasm
hit and I filled his bowels with my sperm. Emma's face was slack, her hand
almost a blur in her crotch. She bent her face down to Jason's and they
were kissing deeply as she moaned that she was cumming into his open, slack

I slowed my thrusts inside him and watched as my sometime girlfriend kissed
her lover with a passion I hadn't seen her exhibit towards him when they'd
been fucking earlier. She'd taken her hand from out of her cunt and was
gently stroking and massaging his tummy, rubbing her fingers in his
cum. Pulling away from the kiss I watched as she lifted her hand to my
mouth. Jason gazed up at me with a look of greedy gratitude as I licked his
cum off her fingers. I looked deep into his eyes as I slowly withdrew my
thickness from his rectum. As my fat head cleared his anus he closed his
eyes, and softly groaned at the sensation of movement through his

Jason's face was glowing with bemused wonder as I left the room to piss. My
cock looked red and swollen in my hand. My legs were a little weak, but as
I looked at myself again in the mirror I felt good. I turned on the shower
and climbed under the scalding spray.

When I padded through the living room to the kitchen area, Emma was sat
waiting for me, sipping a cup of tea, wrapped in a big fluffy robe. She
looked up at me and smiled.

'How's our friend?'

She grinned, 'Sleeping like a well-fucked baby.'

'It's good to see you Em.'

'Yeah. Tim, I know why you came here today. I'm happy that you still think
of me as someone you need when you're in pain.'

'I love you, honey, what can I say? We kind of got to a place where we
didn't make each other happy. I kept things from you...'

'Don't go there, Tim. I can't say that I'm not disappointed we won't be
tripping into the sunset together. But to be honest I'm not sure how well
we'd have done when the passion wore off anyway.'

I looked at her in shock, and she grinned at me before continuing. 'Look,
you're a wonderful masculine, man. You're a great fuck. You made me feel
alive and sexual and gorgeous. But baby, you weren't that great at
understanding me, talking to me, you know?'

I put aside a rising sense of anger and, with effort, recognised the truth
in what she was saying. 'Yeah. I know. I've learnt a lot about myself
lately. I needed to learn how to enjoy... putting aside my pride, my ego,
all that macho crap. You've got a good friend in Jude, you know.'

'I know. So have you.'

'You think?'

'Tim, I'm not going to break any confidences here, but there's a lot that
you and Tom don't know about Jude. He's a lot more his own person than I
think Tom realises.'

I was surprised to hear the bitterness in her voice as she spoke about
Tom. I wondered what Jude had told her. But that wasn't my primary interest
right now.

'What happens now, Em?'

'I don't know, Tim. We've got something special here, haven't we?' I
nodded. She continued, 'But you're not in a position to commit to me, and
I've kind of realised that I'm not ready to play wifey for some bloke right
now. Let's be friends... Who play together when it makes us feel nice.'

I laughed at her boldness. 'Sounds like a plan to me, babes. Any more of
your boyfriends I can fuck for you?'

'Oh god, Tim. We were really bad! That poor boy will never be the same
again!' She giggled deliciously. 'Jesus. I thought I was going to die when
you put your penis in him... I knew he'd love it.'

'Just like you, slut!'

We opened her scotch then, and toasted one another's naughtiness. We ended
up snuggled up on her couch, dozing amiably. Several hours later, Jason
staggered from her bedroom. He'd managed to get dressed and looked sheepish
as he said goodbye to us. We waved to him from the nest we'd made on the
sofa, and then giggled together as we watched him walk, rather bow-legged,
to the front door.

I returned to my own home the next day. I felt a little emotionally
fragile, but no longer destitute. My time with Emma, as well as boosting my
ego, had made me feel connected: I was significant to someone I cared
about. Things weren't the same as they were, but it was enough, for now, to
know I wasn't completely alone.

For a few days I enjoyed domestic routines. Going to work, using the gymn
at lunchtime, making sure I didn't sit at my desk all day. Coming home,
cooking for myself, reading, rediscovering music I loved and listening to
it at antisocial levels. Emma and I spoke every day, and I found that I
looked forward to hearing her voice. There was a depth and openness to our
relationship that I was enjoying. She was still keeping me at a distance,
and that suited me. I didn't want her to move back in. I wasn't even sure I
was that interested in her sexually. I'd sought refuge in her familiarity,
in her attractiveness, when Tom had dumped me. Being able to fuck her had
salved me ego, but I'm not sure how hot we'd have got if Jason hadn't been
on the scene. I'd been stunned how turned on she'd gotten watching some
guy-on-guy action. Maybe straight women had the same thing about gay sex
that straight men had about lesbians.

I'd been in from work about half an hour one evening when Jude called
round. It was wonderful to see him, but I felt self-conscious. It was the
first time I'd seen him since he'd found out about me and Tom. He greeted
me enthusiastically as I opened my front door. He looked gorgeous, stood on
my doorstep in a beautifully cut suit.

'Hiya, handsome. How are you?'

'I'm fine, Jude. I'm surprised to see you.'

'Why? Because Tom was fucking you behind my back? For god's sake, Tim, he
didn't invent shagging around!'

I loved his straightforwardness. As he spoke he tossed his head back and
flung his arm in a motion that I think was meant to communicate the extent
of the shagging around.

'Listen darling, I can't stop, I've got my friend Dave in the car, but we
were passing and I just wanted to see how you are.'

I couldn't help but hear the subtle emphasis he placed on the word
'friend'. 'I'm really pleased you came, Jude. To be honest, you coming
makes me feel a lot better. I'm sorry we didn't play by the rules.'

'I think it was a bigger crime for Tom than for me, actually. He had some
big idea of us living together, joint accounts, getting a cat, all that.'
His tone of dismissal made it clear what he thought of Tom's plans. 'Given
that's what he was thinking, fucking you was a little outrageous. But much
as I adore him, I don't want all that, you know? And besides, I've got my
own plans...'

'And do they include your friend Dave?' I grinned at him, putting the same
stress on the word 'friend' that he had.

He put his hand to his chest and gasped in mock horror. 'Whatever do you
mean?' His big pretty eyes gazed out at me from under his long lashes,
affecting starlet naivety, before giggling. 'Jesus, Tim, he's a sexy
fucker.' The stab of jealous pain in my gut shocked me. 'Just thinking
about him makes me hard.'

'Oh yeah?' I put my hand on his crotch, and felt the stiffness there. I was
trying to be casual, but I could hear the catch in my voice.

Jude was looking at me very directly. 'Sweetie, are you jealous?'

I laughed, awkwardly.

'Oh my god! Tim!' He folded his arms around me and brought his face close
up to mine. I could smell the slight milkiness of his breath over the
spicey exoticism of his cologne. 'I don't want to marry Dave any more than
I want to marry Tom. God knows!' He tossed his head at the absurdity of the
idea. 'I think you and I need to spend some time together, maybe over
dinner, when I'm not making you do naughty things on your kitchen floor.'
He giggled. 'I like you Tim, and I want us to see more of each other.'

My stomach had butterflies in it. I was looking down into his chest,
couldn't make eye contact. 'Does that mean you still want to...'

'Sleep with you? Of course it does! You're a very sexy man, Tim.'

I brought my head up and kissed him with such urgency, his eyes widened,
and then his tongue was in my mouth and my hands were in his hair. I was
moaning into his mouth as I tugged off his jacket and his smooth, dry hands
were under my T-shirt, caressing my back strongly. I ripped open the front
of his shirt, delighting in the warmth of his body. He slid his hands down
the back of my joggers onto my hairy arse. He sighed and ground himself
against me. I could feel the stiffness of his cock pressing against mine
and I made a little cry of pleasure into his mouth. Our breath was ragged
in each others' faces. His hands were cupping my arse-cheeks, pulling them
apart and questing into my crack. We were still greedily sucking and
probing our mouths as he backed me towards the kitchen table. My hands were
in his belt, loosening his trousers and pulling them down. His lovely
pierced cock was wedged between us as I kicked off my joggers and rubbed
myself against him. I wanted him inside me very badly. I wanted him to take
me and use me and fuck me and make me moan and pant and scream his name. I
wanted Jude, my lovely queeny Jude to use me like his bitch and treat me
like the slutty dog that I was.

He pushed me backwards so I was sat on the edge of the table, and reached
behind me to get the olive oil bottle that was stood next to the balsamic
with the salt and pepper. He poured some into his hand and roughly
slathered his penis with it. My arms were round his slender, toned neck, my
legs wrapped round his waist as he found my puckered anus and pushed
against it urgently.

'Oh Jesus.' I dropped my head onto his shoulder as his slick cock slid
right up inside me. The warmth and friction in my rectum felt obscene and
delicious. I rotated my bottom on his cock and groaned at the movement in
my belly.

Jude started pounding me, hard and fast, his open shirt flapping against me
as he thrust, his breath harsh. I contracted my sphincter round his shaft
and heard him gasp. My cock was rubbing between his warm smooth belly and
my T-shirt and I was close to cumming. Jude was making desperate groans,
panting with the exertion of his fucking. I wanted to feel him cumming
inside me.

'You fucking dirty slut.'

It took me a moment to realise that it wasn't Jude who'd spoken.

I felt a stab of fear as I saw the tall, lanky man who was stood in the
doorway of the kitchen. His head was shaved, and he was dressed in tatty
jeans and T-shirt. His feet looked huge in their enormous black work
boots. His arms were covered in densely patterned tattoos. Rows of thick
steel rings were pulling on his lobes, and one huge ring hung from his
septum. As he walked towards us I saw a crown of thorns tattooed round the
sides of his scalp. His face was cute in a rough, wicked kind of way. His
eyes were huge and dark, his lips full.

Seeing the look on my face, Jude stopped moving and turned to look at the
stranger over his shoulder.

'Oh fuck! Babes, I'm so sorry!' Jude staggered against me, his body
convulsing in suppressed laughter and embarrassment.

'I've been fucking waiting 15 fucking minutes.' The stranger's voice was
deep and common. 'Guess you got held up.' The guy swaggered towards us with
exaggerated thuggishness. He slapped Jude's arse playfully.

Jude gasped, part laugh, part relief. 'Tim, this is Dave.'

Dave was rubbing the bulge in his crotch and looking at us hungrily. I felt
cowed by his gaze, recovering from the shock of him appearing in my
kitchen, embarrassed by being caught by such a man getting fucked on my own
kitchen table. My cock had shrivelled and Jude's dick felt stiff and
uncomfortable stuffed in my rectum.

'I know who Tim is.' Dave's lip curled disdainfully and he cast a coldly
appraising glance over me as he leaned towards Jude and kissed him on the
neck. His eyes were boring into mine as he said, 'Fuck 'im, Jude. Make him
pant like a fucking dirty little doggy.'

My cock hardened again at his words, and I shivered at the sense of
objectification I felt under Dave's brutal gaze.

Jude and Dave kissed deeply, as Jude started moving inside me; short, lusty
stabs into my arse. My cock was oozing onto my hairy belly. I couldn't take
my eyes off Dave. His appearance was so contrived, and yet so startling. It
was shocking to see someone with such an extreme self presentation. He
looked like so brutal, uncompromising; and yet his tattoos and piercings
were so indicative of very precise, almost prissily particular tastes. I
could smell him strongly, an earthiness that rose off the heat of his body.

Jude broke from their kiss to concentrate on pumping me. Dave stared into
my eyes. His gaze was unflinching. He raised his hands to my chest, and
grasped my nipples. His fingers were long and blunt, fingernails dirty and
chipped. I gasped as he pinched my nipples, and then cried out as he
twisted them viciously.

'D'you like gettin' fucked?' I nodded as his gaze drilled into me. Dave's
face was close to mine as he spoke and I could smell stale fags on his
breath. Jude's movement inside me was tripping me out, and I knew that if I
touched my cock I'd cum.

'Look at 'cha. Fuckin' slut. Slack-holed man-cunt. Little boy playing at
being a real man. What he needs is sorting out. He needs a good
shagging. Doesn't he?' He was speaking softly, his full lips curling
disdainfully, his eyes still locked on mine. I nodded, feeling very excited
by him referring to me in the third person, like I wasn't worthy of being
spoken to directly.

'You queers are all the same. Dirty little doggies who need a real man to
scratch your itch. Ain't that right?' He'd turned to Jude and dropped his
right hand from its continuing assault on my nipple. I felt Jude flinch and
knew that Dave had showed his fingers up my lovers' arsehole. Jude stopped
moving and closed his eyes. I could see Dave's arm moving strongly behind

'Oh Christ! Easy baby!' Jude's plea was full of pain and pleasure.

'You don't want me to stop.' It wasn't a question. Jude grasped my forearms
tightly. I didn't know exactly what Dave was doing to him but it was
turning me on. Abruptly, Dave removed his hand from Jude's arse and
starting freeing himself from his jeans. He stepped back from us as he
opened his flies and dragged the denim round his thighs. He wasn't wearing
underwear. His cock was fat and greasy. As it was released it slapped up
against his flat tummy. The ring through its glans was incredibly thick. It
looked obscene, scary and unnatural. I knew immediately that I wanted it
very badly.

Dave stepped up behind Jude and pushed on his back, pushed him in towards
me. I put my arms round his shoulders and pulled him to me. I kissed him
softly as I watched Dave crouching behind him, lining his brutal looking
penis up with my lovers' arse. I felt Jude's cock throb in my hole as Dave
pushed himself roughly inside. Jude gasped into my mouth, and I swallowed
his groans greedily, relishing his being taken by this animalistic

'Fuck yourself.' Dave grasped Jude's hips and held himself still. As Jude
fucked into me, he withdrew himself from Dave's tool; as he pulled out of
me, he impaled himself. I looked into his face and saw his eyes, glazed and
unfocussed; his mouth was slack.

'Oh fuck. Oh fucking Jesus... Oh baby.'

Jude's movements slowed and Dave started packing him; Jude dropped his head
onto my chest. The force of the thrusts was shifting the kitchen table on
the floor. Dave put his right hand on Jude's shoulder and gripped it
fiercely. His other hand steadied Jude's hip. Dave's lips were drawn back
from his teeth in a grimace as he made violent jabs at Jude. I gripped my
lovers' cock tightly inside me and I felt him stagger and cry out as he
came inside me.

As Jude stood upright, Dave pulled out of him.

'Get out of the way, Jude. I'm gonna fuck your mate raw.'

As Jude obliged, flashing me a quick complicit grin, I felt cum oozing out
of my hole. My cock was rock hard. I wanted this rough fucker to take me
and use me. He stepped in between my legs, staring down between my
buttocks. I felt his fingers between my cheeks, moving in the stickiness
there, probing me bluntly, but not ungently. He picked up my heavy cock off
my belly and held it in his hand.

'Push it out, mate.' He voice had softened. He was still staring between my

His hand felt hot on my dick. My chest was tight, and it was warm and
thrilling being enveloped by the rough, dirty smell Dave was giving off. I
pushed down with my internal muscles, like I was taking a shit. I felt the
warm wetness of Jude's cum pass through my sphincter.

'Oh yes.' Dave sounded almost reverential. His gentleness was as thrilling
as his earlier violence. His awe seemed to be containing his immense
power. His interest in my fucked hole, oozing cum, was turning me on more
than I could have imagined. My cock was throbbing in his hand.

I became aware of Jude standing beside me at the edge of the table. He bent
over me and I sucked his tongue into my mouth, moaning at the taste of him.

'Guess it's sloppy seconds for me...' As Dave let go of my penis to focus
on getting inside me, I picked it up off my stomach, enjoying the familiar
firmness of it in my hand.

Dave crouched a little, holding his slimy cock as he lined it up with my
hole. I was slack and aroused, lubed up with sperm. I felt a flash of cold
hardness against my arse lips as his ring pushed through them and then his
stiffness was right up inside me.

'Aaah. There you go.' His tone was still full of awe. He flexed his hips
against me, holding my thighs tightly against his torso as he penetrated me

I groaned into the back of Jude's throat, relishing the stillness, the hot
stuffed feeling inside my belly.

Dave started to pull back and then fucked me full of his stiffness, hard
and fast. He quickly established a punishing rhythm, and I could hear his
flesh slapping hard against mine. His strokes were violent and
unrelenting. I felt a stab of dull pain high up in my rectum as he banged
inside me at the end of his stroke and I tried to move off it, but his
hands dug painfully into the flesh of my thighs and I settled into the
discomfort, tripping on my subjugation. He was hurting me, but I was making
sharp little surprised shouts of pleasure and my dick was making my hand
slick with pre-cum. The pain of his thrusts had taken the edge off my
impending orgasm, but quickly I felt myself reaching that plateau again.

'Look. At. Yourself.' Dave panted between thrusts. 'You. Love
it. Filthy. Fucking. Faggot.' With each word he pounded into me with an
unrestrained violence. He was frowning with concentration, his rough,
thick-lipped face looked menacing and very exciting. I heard him hawk and
then he spat a big gob of spit into my face; it landed just under my eye
and rolled down my cheek, cooling on my skin as it slid. A wave of disgust
rolled through me, a hot pain of humiliation. I felt myself cumming, sperm
shooting up onto my neck and chest, arsehole clamping on the meat stuffed
inside me. I tossed my head from side to side revelling in my
self-disgust. I felt marvellously abandoned, like a kid who's just filled
his pants and hasn't yet felt the shame of it.

'Fuck! Fuck!' Dave face was screwed up as he held himself deep inside me. I
yelped with pain as I felt his finger nails lacerate my thighs.

Afterwards we sat in my kitchen and got pissed. Dave was a tree surgeon and
pretty good company, even though he had some flaky ideas. His earthy, rough
machismo was appealing, and it gave me a buzz to hear him laugh at my jokes
as I sat in the dampness of his cum soaking into my pants. I felt a pang of
loneliness as they left together, the melancholy of too much beer. I
staggered up stairs to my bed, hugging the pillow to my chest and smelling
the men who'd recently fucked me on my skin, in my hair.

I didn't see Jude for a few weeks after that, although we spoke on the
phone often. I was still enjoying the routine of my solitude, of taking
care of myself, exercising, eating well. My slack tummy got a little more
taut, and my body began to resemble its former rugby-playing state. It felt
good to enjoy my vanity.

But the ache for Tom was never far away. My best friend had been taken away
from me. There were parts of my life that were cut off from me because I
didn't have Tom to share them with. It was like my own feelings weren't
real without his wisdom and humour to check them out with. Everything was
less bright, less worthwhile. A couple of years back he'd introduced me to
Walter Mosley and I'd devoured all his novels with relish. Passing Borders
on Oxford Street one day I saw the new Easy Rawlins was out and started
into the shop until I realised I wouldn't be able to talk to Tom about it
when I'd finished it. There was no point reading it. A wave of depression
rolled over me, and I felt exhausted by it.

I'd fallen in love with him. It was the most obvious thing in the
world. Like a dream in which you feel the most perfect happiness, and long
to bring it with you into consciousness. I'd known him all my adult
life. Trusted him, cared for him, known he watched my back. And then,
miraculously, discovered he could stimulate the wildest, and the tenderest,
passion I'd ever known.

And then he'd gone.

It wasn't going to be all right. I wasn't going to feel that perfect
happiness again. But I would go to work. Talk to Emma. Go to the gymn. Do
my washing. Wank myself stupid, futilely.

I had no real sense of how much time was passing, of how long it was since
I'd seen Tom that terrible afternoon. When I came home from work one day to
find him stood on my doorstep, at first I was shocked, not to see him
there, but by his nose still strapped and eyes blackened.

Suddenly short of breath, I turned off the ignition, trying to calm the
cramps in my belly, and got out of the car. I beeped it locked and stepped
towards the front door. I hadn't looked into his face.

'Tim - '

My key was in the lock of my front door. Tom was standing beside me. I had
thought I would be ready to see him. My heart thumped in expectation,
desire. I could feel my face softening in his presence. But I couldn't look
at him, didn't want to give up any power, didn't want to feel the sickness
of humiliation.

'Tim, can I come in?'

'Why not?'

I didn't look at him as I held the door open behind me, as I took off my
overcoat and draped it over the banister, as I walked into the kitchen and
automatically reached for a glass and the open bottle from the fridge. I
sloshed the wine into the glass and drank deeply. He was stood in the
doorway of the kitchen. I looked into his face over the rim of the
glass. There was a trace of sheepishness at the corners of his mouth, but
his features were as strong as ever. I had an image of his shiftiness in
his hallway the last time I'd seen him and took another gulp of wine and
said nothing.

I watched as he calmly took off his coat and draped it over the back of one
of the chairs. He took a glass from the shelf and stepped towards me and
picked up the bottle from the counter next to my arm. When he'd filled the
glass he moved away and sat at the table, taking the only warmth in the
room with him. I took another slug of wine.

'All that anger's not good for you, you know.' His gaze was direct, his
voice calm, controlled.

'Piss off.' I turned my back on him, leant my bum against the edge of the
counter and drank deeply from my glass.

'Ok. Sorry.' His voice softened, and I heard him shift in his seat, the
chair scrape on the floor. 'Can we talk?'

I sighed, and turned back towards him. 'I'm listening.'

'I'm sorry that things got so out of hand.' He spoke with a kind of cod
earnestness that he'd learnt from his therapist. I thought he would carry
on speaking, but he sat back in his chair with an air of self-satisfaction.

'Is that it? Well, thanks, you can go now.'

'You're being very hostile.'

'Get stuffed, Tom.'

'And childish.'

'What the fuck do my expect, you smug mother-fucking cunt?' I slammed the
glass down on the counter. 'What do you want me to say? What do you think
you've done here? What are you apologising for? What are you giving up,
admitting to?' I suddenly ran out of steam; I felt tired. I ran a hand
through my hair. 'What do you want?'

'I want us to be reconciled.'

'Jesus! What the fuck does that mean?'

'I want to be friends again, open up a dialogue - '

'Why?' The harshness of my voice surprised me.

His gaze faltered.

'Lost for words?' My tone was taunting. I sloshed some more wine into the
glass and drank deeply.

'Look... do you think this is easy for me? To come here?' His composure was
slipping, fractionally.

'So? Should it be?'

He tossed his head back, and raised his arms and let them fall back to his
sides. 'Oh get over yourself. Cut the martyr crap. Take some fucking

'Well, what the fuck are you admitting to?' I stared him down, hard, for
the first time, meeting his gaze with conviction, forcing him to look away
first. 'What did you think was going to happen when you came here, I'd let
you patronise me like you always did, play at being a good sport and let
you be the real man?'

He screwed his face up, but I plowed on.

'You fucking hypocrite tosser. You might fancy men, and come out with all
this new age yoga shit, but you're a fucking macho pig. For fucking years
we've played this game where you get to have it all your own way cause
you're a faggot, and I'm too fucking guilty to call you on it. I mean,
Christ! Half the fucking time I didn't know what you were pulling. I used
to think you were so bloody cool, the hard man who paints his toenails, who
doesn't apologise for being queer. I was fucking well taken in by it
all. You're a competitive little fucker, and fucking men is all about your
pathetic macho ego, it's all about power -'

'Oh do me a fucking favour!' He interrupted me savagely. 'A straight man
who likes playing at being a sub in private is going to fucking lecture me
about what it's like to be queer? And just what the fuck do you think
you're giving up to the world? Come out as bi at work, have we? Told the
blokes down the rugby club that you like taking it up the arse have you?
What the fuck do you know about power? Do you know how hard I have to work
to make sure nobody shits on me?'

Silence opened up, filling a chasm of despair and confusion between us. I
could hear the harshness of my breath. Eventually I said, 'And does that
include me and Jude?'

He waved his hand dismissively, 'Oh, what are you talking about?'

'How hard do you think you have to work to keep up this macho front with
the people who care about you? You're so busy defending yourself against
the world that you can't let down your guard with anybody.'

'What do you know?' He leapt to his feet. His earlier composure was
shattered. 'I wanted Jude to live with me, be with me. I thought it was for
real, that we had something.'

'And what were you doing with me, then?' I spoke softly, staring down at
the counter in front of me. I looked up and saw his face crumpling as he
sagged back into the chair and rested his head and arms on the table.

'The truth is that you treated me so badly because you were scared of how
you felt about me.' I suddenly saw how much more clearly I saw everything
than Tom did. 'Jude complements you, is unthreatening to you. He's such an
adorable queen, being with him makes you feel like a man. But what are you
so scared of? You've played up my sense of confusion, but really it's you
who doesn't feel okay about your sexuality. It's only okay for you to fuck
men if you know that you're really the man.'

He looked up. There were tears in his eyes but he gazed at me
mockingly. 'Is that supposed to make sense?'

'You bloody know what I mean.'

He raised his eyebrows. 'You never complained.'

I smiled at him. 'I loved what we had. But it wasn't healthy for either of
us. I enjoyed being your plaything, but we couldn't carry on ignoring what
it all meant.'

'And what did it mean?'

'Oh Tom. I love you. But I'm not competing with you any more. I'm not going
to let you fuck me around so that you can feel good about yourself. I care
about you too much to facilitate that kind of self-loathing - mine or

'I'm sorry, Tim.'

I exhaled, and felt my shoulders drop. 'So am I. Does your nose really

'You've got a serious right hook. Always did have.'

'You can't keep punishing me for being straight. Even if I'm not quite as
straight as we thought.' I snorted, not quite laughter.

Tom looked at me quietly for a while. When he spoke I felt the intimacy
opening again between us. 'It was such an incredible turn on for me. You
were always so effortlessly masculine, always had such stunning women on
your arm, always the bloke the lads looked up to, without you even
trying. Jesus!' He laughed, shaking his head. 'We were best mates, I loved
that you could handle me, never showed any discomfort with my sexuality,
never shut me up. I'd always fancied you, in a kind of distant, safe
way. That night with Jude, I could barely contain myself. And
since... well, it's been like some kinky fantasy. What gay man doesn't
fantasise about taking a butch straight guy up the arse? Fuck! It was such
a head-trip! I've never felt so excited. Taking you, punishing you made me
feel so powerful. Rape fantasies are weird. You feel so fucking macho, but
worthless, disgusting. I was hurting myself, hurting Jude. Christ! What a

He looked up at me, and his gaze was soft, his eyes moist.

When I spoke, my voice was unsteady. 'I didn't have any way to protect
myself from you. You were already so deeply under my skin, you know me
better than anyone.'

'I know, I know. In the end I felt like such a shit, I really was just
punishing you, for making me feel so bad. And all the time, I couldn't get
any perspective, cause you're my best friend and I couldn't talk to you
about it. That last time, I really knew I had to stop. I idealised my
relationship with Jude. Thought that if I could just hold on to that I
couldn't be such a git after all.'

'How is Jude?'

'You tell me. I've spoken to him on the phone, but I think he wants some
distance from me.'

'Are you okay?'

'I miss him, sure.' He looked up at me. 'Not as much as I miss you, matey.'

We gazed at each other across the kitchen for what seemed a long time. For
the first time since I'd smashed his nose, I felt like everything was going
to be okay, but I still didn't know how to approach him. Had we said too
much? He looked a little lost himself, like he wasn't sure it was alright
to reach out to me.

I walked towards where he was sat, and put my hand on his skinhead. Gently
he put his arms round my waist and laid his head against my tummy, as I put
mine round his neck, cradling him to me. I heard him sigh. The bulkiness of
him felt wonderful, solid.

I don't know how long I stood there; we weren't in any hurry to
move. Neither of us knew quite what was going to be okay: our old modus
operandi felt too risky after so much soul bearing.

Eventually, I gently disengaged. 'I'm starving. Do you want to eat?' He
nodded at me silently. I opened the fridge and started taking out
vegetables, cheese. I felt good, clanging pans, chopping and stirring,
reaching out from the density of our emotions into the methodical,
practical world of the kitchen and our basic need to eat. As the room
filled with the hearty smell of frying garlic, Tom stopped watching me
silently and went to the fridge.

'D'you want more wine?'

'God, yes.' I smiled at him, and as he held the bottle he leant forward and
kissed me on the lips. Our lips parted gently, tentatively probing our new
selves. He gently pulled away to get the corkscrew, smiling dopily, and I
turned back to my pans, glowing with pleasure at our reprieve. With every
delicious domestic intimacy we pulled further back from the abyss. We
hadn't puttered round the kitchen together for years; back then he
certainly wouldn't have been kissing me. I felt the sudden profound weight
of how much I wanted him, not only in my bed, but in my kitchen, in the
routine of my life.

By the time we'd eaten, and drunk another bottle of wine, I felt sleepy and
happy. We'd chattered our way through the meal, laughing and bitching
through the few weeks of our separation. Neither of us spoke of Jude, Emma
or each other. We didn't need to, and there were still raw places that we
would only be able to come back to when we felt stronger.

As Tom took my hand and led me upstairs, I put my head on his shoulder
companionably. I didn't think we'd have sex. I wanted us to get naked and
cling to each other. I imagined his arms holding me as I drifted off and
looked forward to the best night's sleep I would have had for months.

He paused outside my bedroom door, and we stood facing each other. In the
weeks of our illicit passion, we'd never fucked in my bed.

'Are you okay?' I asked.

He nodded, leaning towards me. Gently manoeuvring to protect his strapped
nose, we kissed. At first there was reticence; but our melting garlicky
kisses became more passionate as we felt each other's tenderness. His hands
were in my hair as I sucked his tongue into my mouth, relishing the salty
taste of him. He dropped a hand to my neck and caressed me gently there as
his tongue wriggled in my mouth. My hands were on his big firm arse,
smoothing over the denim, enjoying the weight of him in my palms.

Suddenly sleep was the last thing I was interested in.

Our previous times had been characterised by my willingness to submit to
him, by the thrill of my expectation of his desire to have me. Now I wanted
to explore him.

When we finally tumbled into my bedroom, his shirt was hanging off and my
pants were round my knees. Giggling at our fumbling ineptness, we parted to
tug off our remaining clothing. When we came back to each other I felt his
warmth radiating strongly and the smell of his excited body filled my head,
making me dizzy. Slowly I ran my hands over him, perhaps for the first time
assimilating his body for myself. He was solid and meaty, but with an outer
layer of softer, yielding flesh. His arms felt powerful but his skin moved
under my touch. I traced the outline of the large tattoo that extended over
his shoulder and down his left arm and down into the dark hair that shaded
his broad, strongly defined forearm. Grasping his hand in mine I lifted his
arm over his head and breathed in the saltiness of his armpit. The dense
coarseness of his moist hair was beautifully framed by the firm edge of his
pec and the back of his shoulder. I dipped my head and rubbed my nose under
his arm and licked his sweat as he dropped his hand onto the back of my
hair. Inhaling deeply I groaned. I wanted to eat him, devour him, savour
all his tastes and smells. His flesh thrilled me, yielding its dormant
power under my explorations.

Tom is a beautiful, masculine man. He matches my six and a half feet,
although he's maintained a more disciplined exercise regime than me in the
last few years and so his rugby player's build hasn't started to turn soft,
as mine has. His closely shaved, balding head forms a strong contrast with
the acres of unruly dark hair that cover his chest, from his neckline,
fanning out across the width of him before tapering down his stomach in a
broad line into his dense bush. His legs and arse are also carpeted, but
thankfully not his back. At the base of his spine, above his arse crack, he
has a patch of hair that's just visible above his Calvins. His face is
broad and long, with strong, very horizontal eyebrows and big, wide brown
eyes above high cheekbones and a long, thick nose. His mouth, usually
framed by a couple of days of rough stubble, is pink and his lips broad and

As I sank to my knees, releasing his arm, he let his hand rest heavily on
top of my head, and I faced his awesome cock.

It hung down between his legs, poised in the moment before
erection. Engorged and fat, his thick foreskin had partially retracted and
his glans were moistly peeking out at me. The smooth soft surface of his
shaft was traced with veins, their thick blueness punctuating the ochre
creaminess of his skin. The heat of his arousal was generating a strong
animal smell in his crotch, salty with a slight tang of piss. I buried my
nose in his bush and inhaled him, relishing the gentle caress of his hands
on my head. At last I felt that this moment actually belonged to us, two
men tentatively recognising their feelings for one another, uncompromised
by the churning sickness of guilt or humiliation.

I lowered my head through his crotch, my nose following the crease of his
leg, his cock hot and hardening against my cheek. His legs parted as I
ducked lower. His balls, encased in a surprisingly dark scrotum, drew up as
my breath bathed over them and I felt him shiver above me. Lodging my nose
just behind them, I opened my mouth and felt the coarseness of his hair in
my mouth and then I was licking the wrinkled, yielding surface. I heard him
sigh, and gently traced round the outline of each of his fat balls. My
saliva cooled on his skin and I felt the weight of his penis lift off my
chin. I moved backwards and breathed in the earthiness of his arse.

I was stretched awkwardly on the floor underneath him, my neck aching
upside down. Grasping his high, tight buttocks, I moved him to the bed,
where I bent him over the side. He was acquiescent and sprawled on top of
the duvet, turning his head to one side and spreading his legs wide. His
arms were arced round his head, and his cock pressed down against the side
of the bed, poking down between his legs. It looked obscene. He was
magnificent, muscled, hairy and docile under my explorations.

His buttocks were so firm that even with his legs spread, his crack wasn't
open. As I parted them, breathing in his dense aroma, his sphincter winked
at me, tickled by my warm, erratic breath. He moved his legs further apart,
making my access easier. His crack was furry, and with my finger I parted
the hairs obscuring his hole. It was tightly puckered. I didn't know how
many cocks had been up there; from what I knew of Tom's sexual tastes and
history, it can't have been many. From the tightness of it, I'd have said
it was a long time since anything substantial had been inside him. I felt a
strong urge to give him this, to offer him the strength and warmth of my
body. I wanted to allow him to feel taken, to lose himself in my desire for

I pushed my tongue up against his anus and felt it spasm tightly against
the wet intrusion. I moved around it, feeling the little ridges radiating,
tightening against my touch, but gradually relaxing as he got used to the
intimate contact. My face felt full of the taste and smell of him, and
saliva started to run down my chin as I lapped more passionately. I wanted
to open him up and eat him, push myself into the heart of him. Gradually I
felt the outer layer of his muscle opening. I pulled back and felt the
coolness of saliva on my face. Flattened by dampness, the dark curls of
hair matted the inner surface of his buttocks, and his anus was displaying
a glimpse of its inner pinkness.

I reached up to my bedside drawer and took out the lube. I pumped some onto
my forefinger and then more into his crack. I watched as the clear liquid
ran through the hairs and over his pucker, which pulsed, widening slightly
at its touch. Gently I touched my finger to his centre and felt it tighten
against me. I rested it there, firmly, and felt his body shift as it
widened and then I was trapped in the thick tightness of his anus. I lodged
there, feeling him contract tightly, and then he was open and I pushed my
finger fully inside him, into the opening behind. I heard him moan softly
above me and he shifted upwards, parting his legs more widely, bending his
knees. He was very tight, but as I found his prostate, pushing downwards
firmly, I heard him moan in surprise, and his sphincter loosened around my
finger. I advanced another and soon both were stroking him as he made soft
purring noises into the bedclothes.

Watching my fingers penetrate him got my cock very hard. I glanced down at
it, angrily red and throbbing in my crotch. The foreskin was fully
retracted and pre-cum was oozing freely. We'd never talked about me fucking
him. I hadn't ever imagined it, until after that day when he'd dumped me,
when I'd cum many times over thinking about raping him, punishing him,
making him beg and plead for my cock as I had done for his. But the
fantasies were expressions of my powerlessness: I had never really
conceived of taking him. That wasn't how he'd excited me. Now that I was
here, with him splayed over the edge of my bed, I didn't want to humiliate
him. I wanted to take care of him, to give him my passion, to hold him
tightly as I came inside him and felt his body trembling beneath me. I knew
that was what he wanted even though I could never have imagined him asking,
and we hadn't spoken about sex all evening. Once we'd finished shouting,
neither of us was confident enough of the rapprochement we'd achieved to
broach the subject of the sexual dynamic between us, but now I knew that he
was conceding something important to me, and I felt a strong sense of
gratitude for the responsibility he was giving me.

He didn't say anything as I stood up and slathered my cock with lube, nor
as I grasped his legs and swivelled him onto the bed, but as he reached up
for a pillow and wedged it under his rump, he turned and smiled at me. I
leant forward and we kissed, slowly and passionately. I came up behind him
on the bed, and our lips parted. His legs were splayed open, his arse
tilted up towards me. The high tight mounds of his buttocks were one of the
sexiest things I'd ever seen, a thrilling contrast to the soft heaviness of
most of the women I'd screwed. Leaning down over his back, with my knees
between his, I braced myself on my left elbow and with my right hand I
guided my penis into his slippery crack. It wasn't the most comfortable
position to try and get into him, but I was so excited my dick hurt and I
knew I was so hard we wouldn't have a problem.

I rubbed my stiffness between his cheeks until I felt his pucker against my
glans. Tom pushed back against me as he felt me up against his hole. I
moved forward and felt him yield and then tighten. My head was lodged just
inside, tightly gripped and unable to penetrate further. I knew that he
wasn't used to having anything up his back passage, and my cock isn't
anywhere as big as his, but it's still pretty thick. I let myself drop down
onto his back, my cock throbbing intensely as I felt the deliciously firm
cushion of his bum against my loins. I pushed my arms under his armpits and
grasped his shoulders, keeping up a steady pressure against his sphincter.

As I felt it open and my penis push into his body he reared up under me.

'Oh. God!'

I held back slightly, not allowing myself to fully penetrate him as he
settled back down into the bed.

'Jesus! Hold it. Oh god, hold it.' He was panting, sensations overwhelming
him. I could feel the extreme tension of his body beneath me.

'It's okay baby.' I nuzzled his neck gently, holding myself still inside
him. His head was turned to one side, his eyes tightly shut. I could only
imagine what he was thinking. The urge to fuck was strong, but the
restraint was delicious. I felt strong and giving, probing his interior,
knowing how I could hurt him and that I'd enjoy it, but choosing to care
for him, and enjoying that more.

Slowly the tension in his limbs dissipated and I felt his sphincter
dilate. Without pushing into him, my penis slid further inside and I felt
more than heard him sigh. Now I was fully inside him, my crotch pressed
tightly against his magnificent arse, and I felt a surge of pleasure. I
closed my eyes and willed myself back from the brink. I snuggled into his
broad back, rotated my hips and gasped at the sensation of my shaft moving
inside him.

He opened his eyes and looked back at me.

'Are you okay, Tom?'

He nodded dopily. His face was flushed and sweaty, his stubble damp. His
blackened eyes and strapped nose looked adorably pathetic, yet dangerous
and rough. I squeezed him tightly and felt him push his arse back onto my

He closed his eyes and dropped his head back onto the bed.

'Fuck me baby. Fuck me good.' He murmured sleepily, his deep voice
vibrating in my chest, tightly pressed against his back.

I flexed my loins against him and felt myself push deeper into him and
watched his brow furrow and his lips part as he groaned softly. I gently
withdrew a couple of inches and pushed back into him. Closing my eyes I
rested my head between his shoulder blades and starting pumping him, short
outward strokes, and then slowly but firmly pushing deeply into his
buttocks. As I withdrew he made delicious expectant inhalations, letting
them go and softly groaning as I pushed back into him.

His arsehole still felt intensely tight and I had to concentrate not to get
too excited. At each push into him I felt the thrill of wanting to go
deeper into his bowels than his taut sphincter would allow. My cock felt
unbearably stiff. For the first time in my life I wanted a bigger cock,
wanted him to feel me in his throat, wanted to fill him completely with my

Gradually my thrusts became stronger and I felt his arsehole, his whole
body, become slack under me. I started pulling almost all the way out of
him, then deeply back inside. He picked up my movements, and on the inner
stroke, when his arse was as full of my cock as it could be, we wriggled
together, relishing the inner contact. His groans, which had been deep,
subterranean mumbles, became more urgent, his lips parted, and his brow
furrowed deeply with concentration. I knew what he was feeling, that
exquisite, intolerable violation, the intense intimate fullness deep
inside, and it heightened my pleasure. I was taking him. I was fucking Tom
on my bed, making him moan as he had made me moan.

He shifted beneath me, shoving his hand down into his crotch. His breath
came in a hiss as he grabbed his dick and started jacking himself in time
with my thrusts inside him. I sped up, slamming long, deep thrusts into his
slack arse.

Suddenly he cried out, violently, 'Oh fuck! Jesus baby, fuck me!'

Beneath me his movements became more urgent. I held on tightly as his body
shifted and convulsed strongly, almost fighting to stay on him, to keep my
cock inside. I pushed my hand down between his damp, hairy torso and the
dishevelled sheets and pillow. He released his cock and I held it
tightly. He was so big that my fingers didn't reach all the way round his
shaft. He extended both arms in front of us, grasping the bed frame and
flexing his body. His strength was tremendous, his muscles bulging tautly,
and I used his immense penis to hold his loins steady against my
onslaught. He humped his stiff cock in my hand, pushing back against my
hardness inside him. I could no longer sustain my long thrusts, and began
rabbit-fucking him. Sweat was pouring off me onto his strained body beneath
me as we heaved and bucked against one another.

I felt his arse clamp down on my penis and he cried out, shoving his cock
into my hand, into the pillow. I slammed myself deep inside him, gasping as
his anus spasmed on my fat dick. I felt his cock pumping, felt the
stickiness of his sperm in my hand. I couldn't believe I'd fucked him into
cumming, and bit into his neck, momentarily frozen by the onslaught of my
orgasm. Quickly I jammed myself into him, three or four violent thrusts as
I flooded his rectum with my spunk, before I collapsed onto his back,
flexing myself against him as the spasms passed.

My cock was still stiff inside him as he turned his head and found my lips
with his. Our mouths were wide open, tongues blunt as saliva flowed between
us. I ground myself into him and he moaned into my mouth.

Eventually we shifted onto our sides. My penis was still inside him. I
could feel the stickiness of our fluids drying between us. One arm was
still wrapped round his shoulder, the other held his cock, which had
softened, but which I still couldn't get my fingers all the way round.

When my soft cock slipped out of him he sighed, but snuggled back against
me. I don't know how long we dozed like that, but when I awoke, the air
felt cool against my skin. Tom slept deeply against me. The sky was deep
black against the bare window, and I pulled the duvet over us and nestled
back against him.

It was still dark when I next awoke. Tom was shifting in the bed, which
sagged as he got out and padded towards the bathroom. I stretched
ecstatically, nourished by the warmth of the sheets where his body had
been. I'd dozed off again, and awoke as he climbed back in bed. This time
he cuddled up behind me, and I drew my legs up to my chest, enveloped in
him. I drifted off, deciding that I'd kiss off work the next day, and
luxuriated in the idea of us spending all day in bed, talking, eating,
fucking. I had my best friend back.

Much later I opened my eyes to see streaks of mauve lightening the sky. I
could feel Tom's hard-on poking my back. I stretched in his arms and turned
to face him. He was awake.

'Good morning starshine.' He smiled at me and we kissed, gently.

I pulled back and gazed at his face, softened by sleep and fucking. He took
hold of my hand, and lifting his leg, touched my fingers to his arse. I
could feel the lips of his sphincter, still inflamed and distended, sticky
with lube and cum.

'Feel what you've done to me. I'm sore. I keep farting out cum.'

'Perils of being a slut bottom.' We giggled and kissed again, more
passionately. I felt my cock rising.

I stroked his cheek. 'Are you okay?'

He looked at me. 'Wonderful, matey. And you?'

I nodded sleepily. We kissed some more. Our breath was stale, our stubble
caked with last night's dried saliva, but it didn't matter.

We started caressing each other under the sheets. My hand was splayed
across his hard buttocks, finger gently lodged in the stickiness between
them. I felt his immense dick poking my belly, smearing the pool of pre-cum
it was leaking there. It felt wonderful to be in his arms, but as we made
out I had a growing sense of insecurity. We'd thrown out the old rules,
ended the dodgy power games, but I didn't want to feel unstable, like I had
to give up the thrilling identity I'd just found.

I needn't have worried. Tom started humping himself on my tummy as we
kissed. Eventually he pulled away.

'Jesus, Tim. I've got to fuck you.'

I grinned at him. 'Thank Christ for that.'

His smile was cocky. 'Oh yeah? Worried that I wouldn't want to throw you a
portion any more?'

'Fuck you!' I laughed.

He stopped smiling, and touched my face. 'But you need me to take care of
you, don't you?'

My dick jumped, and I nodded. It wasn't so funny now. I wanted him inside
me very badly.

He sat up in the bed, pushing off the covers, and reached for the lube. His
dick sprang up, big as ever. I'd felt it inside me often enough, but still
it was a shock to think I could take it.

Last night his maleness had been yielding, needy, and I'd found it very
exciting. This morning all I wanted was for him to take me and use me. I
didn't feel excited by my own humiliation any more. I felt Tom's equal,
felt how much he cared for me, and how much he needed me to care for him,
but I still wanted him to dominate me, to fuck me into oblivion with his
huge cock and make me beg for more.

He slathered lube on his shaft and pulled a pillow down the bed. I
positioned it under my hips and drew up my legs. I felt his sticky fingers
at my arsehole and pulled open my buttocks. My own cock was heavy and hard
on my belly. All trace of drowsiness was gone. We both needed this, both
needed to affirm the dynamic between us. Our actions were swift, urgent.

With just a little pressure, my anus was open and very soon Tom had three
fingers wriggling inside me. Kneeling between my legs, he was slowly
wanking himself with his other hand.

'Tom. Please - '

He looked into my eyes as he brought his cock up against my arsehole and I
rested my legs on his shoulders.

'Are you okay?' I loved his care, but I was impatient.

'Yes, please. Just fuck me.' I closed my eyes. 'I need you inside me.' I
opened them and felt his broad, spongy head pressing against me. It was too
big, even though I was open. I wriggled against him and felt it penetrate
me. Tom gasped sharply and grasped my legs tightly against his chest.

'Easy baby, I'm gonna cum' he gasped.

'Sorry' I groaned, pushing, trying to hump myself on him, frustrated by my
passivity. I was desperate.

'Okay baby. Here you go.'

He brought his loins forward and I felt his stiffness slide right up inside
me. I rolled my head back on the bed and groaned deeply.

'Oh yes. Oh Jesus. That's it.'

The stuffed feeling deep in my bowels made my cock jump on my belly. I
could feel my sphincter spasming around his huge girth and a sharp pain
high in my tummy, but I didn't care.

I gasped sharply as he slid further inside me and I felt his balls against
my bum. I rotated my bottom on his cock and groaned, tossing my head from
side to side as I felt the hot stiffness moving inside me.

I wrapped my legs round his waist as he bent over me, tucking his thighs
under my hips and hunching his crotch further inside my legs. He kissed me
with such passion that I couldn't breathe, pushing his tongue strongly into
my mouth and down my throat. I was flooded with his saliva and pulled him
to me, tightening my arms round his torso. His hands found my nipples and
rolled them strongly between his thick fingers, pinching me until I
gasped. I felt my arsehole dilate and I farted round his thick member, and
we shifted together, his immensity moving further inside.

I felt my feverishness subside a little and our kissing became less
intense. Finally Tom pulled back, and let go of my nipples.

'Is that better, baby?'

I tensed against him, feeling the solidity of his penis in my rectum, and
then I relaxed, exhaling deeply.

'Fuck, I needed that.'

'Me too.'

'Really? You still need to fuck me?' I felt rather small.

'You know I do. I wanted you to fuck me last night. You needed it. I need
to be taken care of sometimes. I need to let down my guard, stop being
competitive. Shit, sometimes I need a bloody good rogering. But it's not
who I am. I don't need to get fucked to feel desired, to feel sexual. I
know that you do. But you need to know that I'm not going pull any crap on
you because that's how it is between us. No more power games. I love you
because you're a man.' His face was close to mine, his voice deep and soft
and loving. His hand was stroking my hair.

'I love you too, Tom.' I kissed him, softly, then gently pulled back,
contracting my sphincter round his cock. 'Now fuck me like a man. I want
your spunk in my belly.'

He didn't spare me. He fucked me hard and fast and deep and it felt
wonderful. My arse was slack and let out stoppered little farts round his
girth. I could smell the rankness of our sex but all I felt was the itch
deep in my belly that was abating as I laid myself open and relished the
fucking I was getting. His thrusts were so fast they blended together and
all I could do was gasp sharp breaths as he slammed me.

'Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.'

'Is that good, baby?' Tom sat back on his haunches, slowing, giving me a
respite. Holding my legs up on his shoulders he plunged his shaft all the
way in and then all the way out. As he slowed his pace, the feelings inside
intensified. I could feel his thick cock rubbing my prostate, and the
friction was tripping me out. His strokes felt amazingly long as his
incredible penis disappeared inside my belly and then withdrew almost to
the tip of his fat glans.

'Oh god...your dick is big...make me cum, Tom.'

'You got it.' He looked down at me hungrily. 'Jesus, you look hot.' He
stroked my broad, hairy chest. 'I've never fucked such a butch guy before.'
He was panting heavily. 'Did I ever tell you that?'

I knew he'd fucked several married men in his time. Once I'd found his
tales unnerving and trilling. Now I only wanted to hear him tell me how
special I was.

'Oh Tom, fuck...I'm close. Oh god, I'm close. Don't stop. Please, don't

'Don't worry, babes, I'm not going anywhere.'

'Oh god, that feels so good. Fuck me. Fuck me.'

His long, unhurried strokes were driving me insane. I grasped my nipples
and rolled them between my thumb and forefinger.

'Oh yes. Play with yourself. Shit, you're fucking amazing.' He was
breathless, but collected, almost calm. I knew he was close to cumming, but
I felt the intensity of his attention focussed upon me, watching the
pleasure I was getting from him stuffing me with that fucking mammoth

I watched my cock jumping on my belly as I felt the orgasm hit me. The
first pump hit my neck and them ropes of it stuck in my chest hair. Tom's
relentless, unhurried strokes continued as I screamed over and over that I
was cumming and my arsehole clamped on his thickness.

As the waves of pleasure subsided I wriggled a little in discomfort as he
continued to long dick me, but then he slammed deep inside, holding himself
rigid as he came.


I felt the waves of his orgasm pass over him as he dug his nails into my
legs and his cock pressed painfully somewhere deep in my belly.

Gradually his grip loosened and he pulled his cock back. Exhausted, he
rested his weight on top of me and I was glad to feel it. I reached down
and felt at my arse where we were joined. His thickness had turned the lips
of my anus outward, and I traced round them, awed by our connection, how it
could feel to have a man inside my body. As he shifted, cum leaked out of
me. I brought my fingers to my lips and Tom watched me lick them clean then
kissed me deeply. I could strongly smell cum, lube and my arse as our
fluids mingled, passing between our mouths.

Tom started to move off me, and I clamped down on him hard.

'No. Don't. Not yet. Don't take it out of me yet.'

He smiled at me, and kissed me again. As his cock softened I milked it
inside my arse. Just for now, it was all mine and I wanted to keep it in my
belly, where it belonged.

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